


The Only Way Out is Through

by Aofie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Murder Mystery, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Post-War, Recluse Harry Potter, Severus obviously didn't die, serial killer fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 66,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25477081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aofie/pseuds/Aofie
Summary: It has been five years since the war ended and Harry is living a life of seclusion. That is until the Minister for Magic shows up on his doorstep begging for help with a series of nasty murders. The only piece of evidence is linked to Severus Snape, who has barely been heard of since the end of the war.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 21
Kudos: 179





	1. A feeling

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fic that took me literally ten years to finish! It is also posted on FF but I finally moved it here. 
> 
> (I don't own any of the characters etc etc etc)

He was staring into space again.

This seemed to be happening with monotonous regularity and Harry shook himself slightly and tried very hard to refocus his thoughts.

He had a feeling. It started that morning when he woke up, the sun streaming in his window and spilling across his face. He'd rolled away from it, his back to the glass wall and pulled his faded quilt over his head. Normally he would have embraced the morning sun, and the view it came with of the woods behind his home but not today.

Today he had a feeling. And he just didn't want to face it.

Since the end of the war Harry had worked very hard to become as anonymous as possible. In fact his new goal in life was to become irrelevant to the wizarding world so he could finally live in peace without being known as 'the boy who lived', 'the chosen one' or (and the most annoying) 'the saviour of the wizarding world'. After five years the whole thing still made him sick to his stomach.

In those past five years he had worked hard to be left alone by the press, and mostly by the ministry. After graduating from Hogwarts he found it easier to stay out of the limelight and years of saying 'no comment' to the press and refusing job offer after job offer had finally left Harry with a life he somewhat enjoyed.

He now lived alone in a very secluded part of England (unplottable of course) on the edge of a rather large wood not far from Godric's Hollow. He didn't venture out much, mostly just to the market or to Ron and Hermione's. With the exception of his students who would sometimes stay for up to a month he didn't have any visitors except for a stray cat named Sorrell, who would come and go as it pleased. Ron thought he was daft for living this way, and Hermione often worried about Harry being lonely, but the truth was Harry loved it. He had no desire to be or do anything in particular, instead just immersing himself in study and leisure and living as he wished for once.

He really hoped that would last.

His feeling said otherwise.

'Harry?' A voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

'Sorry Michael did you say something?' Harry asked, looking up at the tall young man standing in the doorway.

Michael was the latest of Harry's students, a Slytherin about to enter his seventh year at Hogwarts. He came to Harry at the beginning of the summer severely weak in defence against the dark arts, and with a burning desire to become an Auror. Harry was personally amazed he had even been accepted into the NEWT class in the first place. He had worked with Michael for the past two months and was now certain that the boy would not only pass his NEWT, he would pass with an O.

The majority of Harry's students weren't still at Hogwarts. People came to him from all over wanting to learn from him. Some were hopeful Aurors in need of some training before applying for the academy; some simply wanted to improve their skills. It had started after the war when several of his classmates who had such a disrupted year of teaching the year before had come to him begging for tutoring. From there it grew to the wider community, and for the past three years he had a steady stream of students living with him and learning from him. Harry found he actually liked teaching especially in a one on one environment, and it paid the bills and gave him the freedom to do as he wished.

'I was just saying that I'm all packed and ready to go.' Michael nudged him gently. 'I'm leaving today remember?'

Harry smiled. 'I remember Michael. You've done very well you know. In fact I suspect if you took your NEWT tomorrow you would probably pass it, and you still have a full year of learning ahead of you.'

'Thanks to you.' Michael replied. 'I really appreciate it Harry.'

'You're very welcome.' Harry extended his hand and Michael shook it firmly.

'I can see myself out.'

Harry nodded. 'Don't forget you can't apparate until you get past the front gate.'

'I won't.' Michael assured him, before leaving the room.

Harry turned back to the window and continued to stare absentmindedly out it. A few short minutes later there was a knock at the front door.

Harry's wards were very carefully constructed, only people he trusted completely were able to make it all the way to the front door. It was probably just Michael having forgotten something.

Harry walked the length of the room to the vestibule. 'What did you forget Michael?' He called.

'It's not Michael.' A deep voice answered.

Harry knew that voice, despite having not heard it in over three years. He waited at the front door for a moment resting his hand on the dark wood as if that would send the intruder away. Because that's what this was; an unwelcome intrusion.

Damn that feeling.

Harry sighed and opened the door. 'Kingsley.'

Kingsley Shacklebolt the Minister for Magic himself was standing on Harry's front step.

'Harry.' Kingsley answered, with a nod of his head. 'Aren't you going to invite me in?'

'That depends.'

'On what?'

'On whether this is a social visit or whether you want something from me.' Harry said warily.

Kingsley laughed. 'Let's just say it's both Potter. Now let me in, it's freezing out here!'

Harry felt something warm pressing against his legs and looked down to find Sorrell looking up at him with wide eyes. 'What do you think Sorrell? Should we let him in?' Harry asked with a smirk.

Kingsley narrowed his eyes at Harry.

'Fine.' Harry huffed and stepped backwards into the vestibule extending his arm out. 'Won't you please come in?'

Kingsley refrained from comment, instead simply following Harry through the house to the sunny Kitchen. Harry flicked his wand casually and a chair pulled out from the table for Kingsley to sit in.

'Thank you.' Kingsley said sincerely.

'You're welcome.' Harry replied.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

'If this isn't a purely social visit may I ask why it's you who have come to see me?' Harry asked. 'I'm sure whatever you want could have been delivered by owl?'

'It's rather a sensitive issue.' Kingsley said.

'But why you?' Harry pressed. 'It's not exactly usual for the Minister to make house calls.'

'As I said it's sensitive. That, coupled with the fact that your wards won't let anyone you don't trust past the front gate made me think it would be easiest to just come myself.'

'You know that?' Harry asked raising his eyebrows slightly.

'Mr Weasley told me.'

Harry sighed, he would have to have a chat to Ron about that. 'What made you think you'd make to my front door then?' He queried.

Kingsley smiled. 'Let's just say I hoped I would make it, rather than assumed I would. I thought I'd have more chance than anyone else in my office.'

'Well that's true.' Harry said. And it was true; Kingsley had more than proven himself worthy of Harry's trust, not only during the war but in the subsequent 5 years.

Kingsley ran his eyes around the kitchen, taking in the neat bench top, the sun streaming in through the glass wall, and the clock on the wall whose big hand was currently pointed at 'relax or else'.

'Why are you here Kingsley?' Harry asked, not wanting to beat around the bush.

'You certainly seem to have built yourself a good life here Harry.' Kingsley commented, ignoring the question. 'A little secluded, but comfortable all the same.'

Harry narrowed his eyes. 'Secluded works for me.' He said evenly. 'Which you are well aware of, so get on with it and tell me the reason for this visit.'

Kingsley sighed, then withdrew a folder from inside his robes and placed it on the kitchen table. 'This is why I'm here.' He said, gesturing to the folder. 'I was hoping for your insight, and perhaps even your assistance.'

Harry pulled the folder towards him and opened it. A few seconds later he wished he hadn't.

The folder was filled with photographs of crime scenes. Murder crime scenes to be precise. Harry had never seen anything so gruesome, there were photographs of several bodies, as well as blood spatters, foot prints, and any number of random shots that the photographer thought may or may not be relevant.

Harry had always thought wizard photographs were far superior to Muggle ones, but looking at these photos made him change his mind. It was more horrifying and disturbing to actually see the blood drip from the bodies to the floor or in one particular photograph where a wizard was vomiting violently into a rose bush while the victim hung gruesomely swinging from a tree two feet away. He fervently wished the pictures were stationary.

From what Harry could tell all the victims were wizards as there was a broken wand found lying next to each body, and all had died in a gruesome fashion. These weren't quick deaths; they seemed to have been designed to inflict pain on the victims for quite some time before their deaths. And the methods used differed from case to case.

Harry couldn't look anymore despite having only seen half the photos.

'What is this?' He asked shakily.

'I'm sorry to spring it on you like this, I know it's quite a shock to see, but this has been happening over the last several months. The last six months in fact, and we have little idea who is responsible or why they're doing it or even how they're doing it…' Kingsley trailed off.

'What do you mean how?'

'As near as we can tell the actual murders are committed in muggle fashion. Using either a knife, or by fire or by those funny shaped metal things that leave holes everywhere.' Kingsley said.

'Guns.' Harry supplied the word.

'Guns. That's it, one was by a gun.' Kingsley confirmed

'I don't understand, why didn't the wizards fight back? How could a muggle get close enough to even threaten a wizard let alone incapacitate one and then torture them?' Harry asked confused. 'Unless you think it was a wizard who did this?'

'That's what we suspect yes.'

'But why kill them like a muggle? Why not use Avada Kadavra?' Harry questioned. 'If they want to torture why not Crucio them first?'

'We don't know Harry. As you can see it makes little sense. The only thing we can think is that this is the work of a wizard who must hate magic.' Kingsley looked bleak. 'It's not something we've seen before and we are not sure how to proceed. The only thing we do know is that this appears to be the work of an individual rather than a group.'

'A serial killer.' Harry nodded, and then shuddered.

'A what?'

Harry sighed. 'A serial killer. It's what the muggles call them. An individual who murders multiple people.'

Kingsley nodded.

They sat in silence for a moment.

Harry got up from the table and moved towards the glass wall, gazing out into the woods. 'Kingsley this is all terrible and very concerning, but what does it have to do with me? I'm not an Auror, nor am I a mental Healer, or anything else that could help. I don't understand what you want me to do.'

Kingsley sat back in his chair. 'Harry despite your age and lack of formal training you are still one of the best defenders of dark magic there is –'

'But they're not using magic.' Harry interrupted, turning back to face him.

'They have to be using some to get past the wards, to immobilise their victims. Come on Harry, do you really think that you can't help?' Kingsley asked.

Harry shrugged.

'Not to mention that you also are very good at finding things, at tracking. You found the Horcrux's after all.'

'I had help.' Harry snapped. 'And I also had a connection to them, and a place to start.' You aren't even giving me anything to go on here, I can't believe you're expecting me to go chase a wizard serial killer with no formal training and no help! Are you insane?'

He paused for a moment, suddenly realising something. 'You're not insane though so there's something you aren't telling me. You must have teams of Aurors already on this, you wouldn't rely on just me, but there must be something you need that you think only I can do, or you wouldn't have bothered coming here… What is it?'

'Harry there was a scrap of parchment found at one of the crime scenes. There's a photograph of it, which you would have seen had you looked through the whole file. It's the only piece of evidence we collected which could lead to the killer.' Kingsley said quietly.

'So follow it.' Harry said.

'That's the problem, we can't.' Kingsley got up from the table and joined Harry at the glass wall. 'It appears to be a record of potions he bought from an owl order potion service. The piece of parchment we recovered doesn't show the buyers name, only part of the potion name and the supplier.'

'Who was the supplier?' Harry asked.

Kingsley turned back to the file on the table and pulled out a photograph. He silently handed it to Harry.

The photograph was of a small torn piece of parchment. There were two words written along the bottom and part of another at the top. Felicis was the word at the top. 'Severus Snape' was written along the bottom.

'Snape?' Harry said in surprise.

'That's correct.' Kingsley confirmed.

'Snape has a potions business?'

'Yes. He's been running it out of his home for about 3 years now.'

'This is bad.' Harry said dimly, still looking at the parchment.

'Yes.' Kingsley said.

'You don't think Snape has anything to do with this do you?' Harry asked.

Kingsley shook his head. 'No we don't. His name was completely cleared after the war thanks to your testimony and the collection of his memories, but the problem is he is extremely hard to contact.'

'Of course he is.' Harry murmured.

'His house, like yours is secluded and very strongly warded with trust wards like your own, he won't accept or answer owls and has completely blocked of his flue to all fire calls.' Kingsley continued. 'We know roughly where his house is but have no way of getting to it as we know of no one he trusts. Except perhaps you.'

'Ah.'

'We'd like you to take this file to him and ask for his help on this case. It may be that the parchment belonged to the victim and not the killer, but if that's the case we want to know all the same. He must have records of all the potions he's sent and that information would be invaluable to us.'

'What makes you think Snape trusts me?' Harry asked bluntly. 'He hates me, he's always hated me, his memories confirmed that.'

'He gave them to you though didn't he? He wouldn't have done that if he didn't trust you.' Kingsley said seriously.

'He didn't have much of a choice though did he?'

'Harry I know you don't want to do this, I know you just want to be left alone but I beg you, please, go to see Severus and see what you can find out. People have died and we have no idea who might be next.'

Harry looked at Kingsley and could see the frustration and concern in his face. 'Ok I'll go.' He said quietly. 'But I'll do this my way Kingsley. I have no idea how he will respond to seeing me again but I guarantee it won't be pleasant. I'll have to tell him everything, including that I'm there to gather evidence for you.' He added.

'That's fine Harry, do what you have to do. I'll wait to hear from you, go as soon as you can won't you?' Kingsley asked, gripping Harry by the shoulder.

Harry nodded. 'I will. I assume you have coordinates or something to at least guide me to where he's living?'

Kingsley reached once again into his robes and withdrew another piece of parchment. 'Here.' He said handing it to Harry. 'I can find my way out. Take some time to go through the file fully, as unpleasant as it is. I hope you can find Severus and convince him to cooperate.'

Harry barely noticed Kingsley leave. He was too busy once again looking at the photographs, this time he got through them all and at the back found several inches of notes he could only assume had been made by the Auror’s working the case.

As he immersed himself in the file Harry wondered just what he had got himself into. There was something so horrifying about these murders, so unexplainable. While Voldemort was twisted and evil at least you could see some sense to what he did, an order, an objective even. But this? This was just senseless killing with no order or plan to it at all. It just didn't make sense.

Harry shook his head as he replaced the images in the file. He wasn't as sure as Kingsley that he'd be able to reach Snape, and he had absolutely no desire to see the man again. Despite having nothing but respect for Snape now the war was over, Harry had no illusions that his personality wouldn't be as caustic as ever.

Still Kingsley was right in saying it was their only lead.

Harry sighed. As much as he was dreading it, he knew tomorrow he'd have to go and find Snape.

He just hoped that Snape wouldn't have any more jars of cockroaches conveniently lying around…


	2. We there yet?

Harry managed to apparate his way to the coordinates Kingsley gave him with little difficulty. The problem was that he then found himself in the middle of a snowy field with no idea which way to go next. Figuring that Snape would live as far north as possible just to be difficult Harry pulled out his wand and cast the four point spell. He sighed and then started trudging slowly through the snow heading north.

After about 10 minutes of this he started to feel more than a little ridiculous, I mean honestly what was he basing this on? Nothing that's what! For all he knew Snape had set up house in the bloody opposite direction. Just as he was starting to consider just giving up and returning home he thought of something that might help him.

'Expecto Patronum!' Harry cried, his patronus shooting out of his wand to appear in front of him. 'Take me to Snape.' Harry instructed. The stag tilted his head at Harry, and then turned and galloped off while Harry scrambled through the snow after it.

As it turned out Harry had been correct in travelling north and he soon came to a gate with what looked like a long driveway behind it. It was hard to tell though as it didn't appear to have been ploughed in a long time. The driveway was lined with trees on either side, and there was snow piled up high on either side of the gate, so much so that Harry doubted that he'd be able to open the gate simply by pulling.

He leaned forwards and tentatively wiped the snow off the sign on the front of the gate.

'Samuel Scott. Enter at own risk' Harry read aloud. 'Samuel Scott? Seriously?' Harry said in surprise. He shrugged and looked at his patronus as if to make sure he had the right place. It certainly seemed that way as there didn't seem to be any other place around for miles. The patronus stag simply looked back at him then jerked his head at the gate slightly as if to say 'get on with it'.

'Enter at own risk' Harry muttered. 'Fine then, I will.' He considered the gate and the snow banks built up on either side. Feeling rather lazy he decided to simply apparate to other side and fervently hoped that he wouldn't be repelled by any wards in the process. Harry could usually sense most wards from miles away however here he couldn't sense a thing. Once again he hoped he had the right house and that it was Snape on the other side and not 'Samuel Scott'.

Here goes nothing. Harry thought, and closed his eyes as he spun on the spot. He opened his eyes a second later in relief to find himself safely on the other side of the gate. Harry slowly trudged up the winding driveway (which was more like a road) until he eventually reached the house at the end of it.

It was a small cottage not unlike Harry's own. Two levels and made of brick and wood with a thatched roof. There was smoke coming from the chimney, which was a welcome sight considering Harry was wet through from trudging through so much snow and shivering with cold. Harry approached the doorstep with trepidation and wondered exactly what he was going to say to Snape after all these years. He didn't think a simple 'Hey you want to go hunt down a serial killer with me?' would suffice.

He was reaching out to knock on the door when it suddenly flew open, revealing a rather cranky Severus Snape.

'Professor Snape?' Harry asked tentatively, suddenly unsure of himself.

'Obviously Potter, unless you've lost your eyesight in the last five years you can bloody well see that it's me.' Snape snapped.

'Well the sign on the gate said Samuel Scott.' Harry huffed. 'What 's that your stage name?'

'It's my muggle name you little twit. I can see you haven't changed a bit.' Snape stood back and folded his arms.

'I think you bring out the worst in me actually.' Harry considered after a moment.

'You bring out the worst in yourself.' Snape answered coolly. 'What pray tell are you doing here Mr Potter? And how did you find me?'

'Can I come in?' Harry asked.

'Answer the question first.'

'The ministry sent me. They require your help. And I found you from coordinates they gave me. That and a bit of luck, and common sense.' Harry said sharply.

Snape simply looked at him.

'I answered your question so would you please let me in now, it's cold'.

'Dry yourself first please, I don't want you traipsing snow all over my house.' Snape said opening the door wider and stepping back a little.

'Git.' Harry said and then pulled out his wand and muttered a drying spell.

Snape gave no indication that he'd heard him, instead turning and striding away from the door 'Shut the door behind you.' He called over his shoulder as he went.

Harry did so, and then followed Snape through the vestibule and into a small, dark kitchen.

Instead of sitting at the table like Harry expected Snape continued through to the next room, a cosy sitting room with a fire burning merrily. There was a chair resting in front of the fire and Snape sat down in it whilst simultaneously conjuring another one for Harry.

'Sit.' He said, pointing at the chair.

Harry sat.

'Explain what the ministry want from me.' Snape said flatly.

Harry pulled out the shrunken file from inside his coat and tapped it with his wand to return it to its original size. He silently handed it to Snape.

'Potter I told you to explain not give me a bloody file to read.'

"It's simpler if you just read it sir.' Harry said.

Snape raised his eyebrows at Harry, probably in response to being called sir, but nonetheless he took the file from Harry and opened it.

While Snape was reading Harry took the time to glance around the room. It was more like a library than a sitting room. The walls were lined with bookshelves from the hearth to the door. There was a sofa in addition to the two chairs they were sitting in, and another two chairs opposite the sofa. Between them was a short coffee table piled high with books and papers, and a half drunk cup of what looked like coffee sat beside them.

Harry turned his attention back to Snape. He had pulled out several of the photos and they were laid out on a small side table he had pulled in front of him.

'Potter this is indeed disturbing, and most certainly must be investigated and the perpetrator found and imprisoned, but why has it been brought to me exactly?' Snape questioned, still looking through the file.

'It's at the back, the last page.' Harry said. 'They found a receipt with your name on it at one of the crime scenes. You either sold the killer or one of the victim's a potion.'

'Ah.' Snape said, finding the last piece of parchment in the file. His brow furrowed as he looked at it.

'Do you recognise it sir?' Harry asked.

'Stop calling me sir. And do you really expect me to remember every receipt I've issued?' Snape said, his voice dripping with distain.

'Well, yes actually I thought you would.' Harry shrugged.

'Sorry to disappoint you.'

'I assume you have records then of each sale you've made?'

'You assume correctly.' Snape confirmed. 'I will help with this, and with whatever else I can. Just answer me one thing.'

Harry raised his eyebrows in question.

'Why did they send you?' Snape asked. 'This has nothing to do with you does it?'

'No it doesn't.' Harry replied, not really knowing what to say.

'Then why?' Snape asked again.

'Kingsley thought that I would have more luck finding you than any of their aurors.' Harry muttered.

'And why is that? Surely he was aware of our history?' Snape said in surprise.

'Honestly sir I suspect it was because of that history that he believed that. Besides I suspect that they tried unsuccessfully before contacting me.'

'For god's sake stop calling me sir. I'm not your bloody professor anymore and you never called me sir even when I was.' Snape growled.

'It's meant to be a sign of respect.' Harry frowned.

'Since when have you ever shown me respect?' Snape snapped.

'Since you showed me your memories.' Harry said quietly. 'That's why Kingsley thought I'd be successful in finding you, because I trust you, and you apparently trust me too. He thought that would allow me past your wards. I assume you have warded this property?' he asked. 'I couldn't sense them.'

'That means they're working.' Snape said. 'You're not supposed to be able to sense them.'

Harry nodded. 'Makes sense.'

Snape gave Harry a withering look. Of course it makes sense you idiot.' He said and turned his attention back to the file. 'Potter I want to make one thing clear. I don't want you to ever mention my memories again. Not ever. Do you understand me?' He spoke softly and dangerously, looking up and catching Harry's eye.

Harry supposed that this was meant to intimidate him, but after everything he'd been though not much intimidated him anymore.

'Consider it forgotten.' Harry said, holding Snape's gaze.

Snape surprised Harry by looking away first. 'Not forgotten Potter, just not mentioned.' He said softly.

'Okay.' Harry agreed, although he felt somewhat confused.

'Come back tomorrow and I'll have something for you. It will take some time to find the correct records.' Snape added standing, as if to show Harry out.

Harry shook his head. 'Can't I stay here and assist you?'

'No.' Snape said shortly.

'It took some effort to get here, its late, and it's practically a bloody blizzard outside and besides I can't be sure that when I come back you won't have upgraded the wards to shut me out.' Harry said still in his seat.

'Don't be ridiculous. Just because I don't want you to intrude further on my privacy does not mean I plan on shutting you out of my home.' Snape said.

'No you just plan on throwing me out.' Harry said, folding his arms across his chest. 'Look I promise you I won't intrude on your privacy. I can sleep right here. I just want to assist you in finding out as much as we can about whomever you sold that potion to. I want to help.'

'Why do you want to help so badly? Missing your glory days? You want to be famous again?' Snape said nastily.

Harry stood facing Snape and glared at him. 'Don't presume to know me. I'm not a child anymore and you can't bully or intimidate me. Don't lower yourself to that when we both know you're better.'

Snape held Harry's gaze for a moment longer then spoke. 'I have a guest room.' He said quietly. 'You don't have to sleep on a sofa. You can stay in the guest room.'

Harry nodded. 'Thank you sir.'

Snape headed to the door, clearly expecting Harry to follow him. 'You don't know anything Potter.' He said. 'And stop calling me sir.'

Harry frowned, but refrained from commenting. He wasn't sure what bothered him more, the fact that Snape still seemed to hate him or the fact that he'd agreed to let him stay so quickly. Harry had expected him to put up more of a fight. The old Snape would have.


	3. Years overdue

He couldn't breathe. It was like there wasn't enough air in the room and no matter how deep a breath he took it didn't make a difference. It was pitch black and there wasn't enough air. He tried to speak, to call out, but he couldn't make his lips move, couldn't make his head move.

It was then that he realised he was on fire. The flames moving up his body, engulfing him piece by piece until he finally found his voice and began to scream.

Harry woke up with a start. For a few moments he forgot where he was and felt the fluttering of panic in his chest, then his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he remembered.

He was in Snape's cottage, in his spare room, and they were hunting a serial killer. A serial killer. Every time he thought about it he could scarcely believe it was true.

He sat up slowly and wiped the sweat from his face, taking slow deep breaths until his heart stopped pounding. He brushed his hair out of his eyes and tried very hard not to think about why he was there.

Ever since he had discovered he was a wizard Harry had spent every effort to distance himself from the muggle world. He had no fond memories of those first eleven years as a muggle and he had no wish to return to that life. Thanks to his self-imposed isolation he barely knew what was going on in the wizarding world let alone the muggle one. When Harry defeated Voldemort he assumed that was as bad as it got. After all what could be worse than a practically immortal dark wizard intent on ruling the world?

His problem was that he had forgotten that both muggles and wizards were the same species, and human beings were capable of some truly horrible acts. He could cope with the idea of a serial killer in the muggle world because it wasn't something he ever thought he'd encounter in the wizarding world. He didn't like it when the two worlds collided like this.

To be honest his quiet little bubble of peace and solitude had been smashed into pieces by reality, and he felt like a fool. And to make things worse here he was, in Snape's house of all places after practically begging the man to let him stay. He wasn't even sure why he had wanted to. Perhaps it was out of guilt, for forgetting there was a world outside his own for a time, or guilt that he thought of muggles and wizards as separate from the other, after all didn't that make him almost as bad as Voldemort? Or perhaps it was simply that as soon as he stepped into Snape's house yesterday he felt a stirring of something inside him that he hadn't felt in years, and he didn't want to let that go.

Harry honestly didn't know what to think of Snape anymore. After the war he swore that he would never look at the man the same way again, and that he would only treat him with respect and kindness. The problem was that he simply hadn't seen him since his trial where he was cleared of all charges. For the following few months he had considered trying to get in contact with Snape but he had seemingly vanished into thin air, and the more time that passed the more secluded Harry became until he dropped the idea completely.

And now here he was five years later in Snape's guest bedroom waking up from yet another nightmare.

The stirring in his chest began again as he heard the sound of footsteps past the bedroom door. Snape must be awake, and Harry felt a strong desire to join him.

The previous evening hadn't been anywhere near as difficult as he suspected it would be. Snape hadn't changed much in the past five years, and still spoke nastily to him whenever he had the opportunity, but Harry didn't mind much. He'd meant it when he said he wasn't intimidated by him anymore, in fact now he wanted to do his best to push past those barriers and find the real Snape – find the man who had loved his mother. It wasn't going to be easy.

Snape had sat him down in front of a cabinet full of receipts and papers and told him to search through it for evidence, then proceeded to criticise and ridicule him every time Harry had found something worth sharing.

It was not dissimilar to potions class really, except here there wasn't a classroom full of people to witness it which somewhat lessoned the impact it had. Not to mention the fact that it didn't really bother Harry, in fact it almost amused him.

He smiled to himself as he pictured Snape last night as he had walked Harry to the guest room, pointing out the rooms he was not welcome in along the way. He had then paused at the door for a moment and looked Harry dead in the eye.

'Good night Potter.' He said softly, holding his gaze for a few moments. He then spun on his heels and turned back the way they had come.

Harry had looked after him for a few moments wondering what it was he had seen in Snape's eyes. He had then shrugged it off as inexplicable and gone to sleep.

Whatever it had been he was pretty sure it would be gone today. Harry pulled himself out of bed and quickly dressed. Despite the fact that it was only 6am he felt no desire to go back to sleep, choosing instead to seek out Snape's company, however caustic that may be.

Harry found him in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and reading Witch Weekly of all things.

'I'm surprised to see you out of bed so early Potter, don't young wizards usually stay in bed for half the day?' Snape said without looking up.

'I have no idea what young wizards do Snape.' Harry replied. 'I was awake so I got up. Interesting reading material you have there.' He added with a smirk.

Snape ignored the comment but put the magazine down anyway. 'I was just about to cook some breakfast, I assume you're hungry?'

'Yes actually.' Harry said raising his eyebrows slightly in surprise.

'Why so stunned? I'm not about to starve a guest in my house, even an unwelcome one.' Snape said, as he moved about the kitchen, pulling down pots and pans.

'I guess I'm just surprised that you're cooking.' Harry said. 'You don't use magic?'

'No I don't. I actually enjoy cooking.'

'Really?' Harry asked.

'Of course really you idiot. I wouldn't have said so otherwise. I am a potions master after all, that shouldn't surprise you.' Snape snapped.

'Well I'm a defence expert but you don't see me enjoying fighting battles everyday do you?'

'The glories of war wearing off for you Potter?' Snape drawled.

Harry just looked at him for a moment in silence.

'The only people who think wars are glorious are those who have never been in one.' He said softly.

Snape looked up from the eggs he was scrambling, a serious look on his face. 'Touche Potter.'

…

After breakfast they returned to Snape's study to continue searching through his records. This time however there were no nasty comments thrown Harry's way, and instead they worked in complete silence.

Harry never thought he'd miss Snape's nastiness, but the silence was almost uncomfortable.

After about 2 hours of this (in which Harry had found nothing useful and was starting to go crazy), Snape finally spoke.

'I've found it.'

'Found what?' Harry said, trying not to get his hopes up.

'Found the receipt you moron.' Snape snapped. 'Come over here'.

Harry resisted the impulse to smirk and instead obediently crossed the room to the filing cabinet where Snape was working. 'Show me.' He said holding out his hand.

Snape gave him the receipt. 'It's the same.' He said shortly. 'Only complete of course.'

One look confirmed that Snape was correct and it was the receipt they were looking for. What was more concerning to Harry was that it appeared as though Snape had indeed sold a bottle of Felix Felicis. He just hoped fervently that he hadn't sold it to a serial killer.

'Is there any information on the buyer?' Harry asked. The receipt stated that the potion was sent to a Joseph Ersegard. It was doubtful that the name was anything but a ruse. 'Maybe a background check?'

Snape sighed. 'Potter do you really expect me to run back ground checks on all my customers?'

'Yes I do.' Harry said firmly. 'At least for a potion as dangerous as this one. I know the ministry have regulations on selling it.'

'And yet it was perfectly fine for a bloody professor to hand it out as a prize. To a cheat of a student no less.' Snape muttered.

'First of all I wouldn't exactly call it cheating. Secondly that just proves my point, nothing is what it seems at face value.' Harry snapped, irritated that Snape had brought up the Half Blood Prince's book.

'It was cheating and you know it or you wouldn't be so ashamed.' Snape replied coolly. 'And as a matter of fact I did do a rudimentary background check.' He dug a little deeper into the filing cabinet and pulled out a set of papers. 'As you can see there was nothing of consequence.' He continued, handing the papers to Harry.

Harry looked them over. 'Average height, average build, average job. Completely forgettable.'

'And most likely completely fabricated.' Snape added.

'Anything else?' Harry asked. 'Is this all you have?'

'What were you after, a psychological profile?' Snape asked snarkily.

Harry smirked. 'Well if anyone could provide one you could.'

'I'm choosing to take that as a compliment, though I seriously doubt it was intended that way.' Snape said, closing the filing cabinet and turning to face Harry.

'It was a compliment.' Harry said uncertainly. 'Thanks for this.' He added, holding up the receipt and the background check. 'This is at least a place to start, so Kingsley should be happy.'

'As happy as one can be when hunting a serial killer.' Snape said drily. 'I'll show you out.'

Once they reached the front door Harry turned to Snape. 'Thank you for your hospitality Snape, I appreciate it.'

Snape merely nodded.

Harry turned to leave.

'Potter?'

'Yes?' he said, turning back to face Snape.

'Are you going to help with the investigation? Or are you going to hand over the information and return to your life of solitude?'

Harry shrugged feeling confused. 'I don't know yet. I don't know what I want to do.' He paused. 'How do you know I live a life of solitude?'

'It's in your eyes.' Snape said steadily. 'Like it's in mine.'

Harry didn't know what to say.

'You should help.' Snape added. 'It might help you start living again.'

'And what about you?' Harry asked softly. 'Would it help you start living again?'

'I'm past that point Potter.' Snape said, turning away and closing the front door.

Harry looked at the door for a moment pondering Snape's last words. He always thought that they were worlds apart, but apparently they had far more in common that he realised.

He shook himself slightly to pull himself out of his daze, and then turned and trudged up the driveway. It was still snowing hard and Harry resembled a snowman by the time he reached the original coordinates Kingsley gave him. He shook himself off and apparated back to his cottage.

When he arrived home he immediately cast his Patronus, sending a message to Kingsley that he had the requested information. Then he took off his coat and hung it up, before sitting down at the table.

His cottage felt strange to him for some reason, though he couldn't quite put his finger on why.

He thought of Snape's face as he closed the door, and wondered if he'd ever see him again.

For the first time in years Harry realised he felt lonely.


	4. We three

Kingsley arrived bright and early the following morning. In fact Harry had just barely got out of bed when there was a knock on his front door.

Harry let him in and showed him into the kitchen.

'You want some coffee?' he asked, as he almost tripped over a mewling Sorrell.

'I want to know what you found out Harry, it is a matter of some urgency.' Kingsley said folding his hands on top of the table.

'Well excuse me for wanting a little small talk before we get into the grisly details.' Harry muttered as he exited the kitchen for his study.

'From what I've heard you've haven't been big on small talk for some time.' Kingsley called after him.

'Things change.' Harry said, returning to the kitchen with the papers Snape had given him. 'Here you go, this is all we could find, and believe me it took some effort.'

'We?' Kingsley questioned, raising his eyebrows slightly.

'Yes we.'

'Hmm' Kingsley said browsing quickly through the background check Snape had done. 'This is all he found? It's not terribly helpful is it? I expected a bit more from Severus to be honest.'

'What exactly did you expect?' Harry snapped, though he wondered why he was all of a sudden defending Snape when he had asked the same thing. 'He did at least do a background check.'

'Which he is required to do by law.' Kingsley pointed out, with an amused look on his face.

'Whatever.' Harry muttered. 'It's not like he was expecting his prospective customers to be serial killers.'

'I imagine not.'

'Will the information at least be helpful in giving you a place to start?' Harry asked.

'Oh yes. I'll pass it onto the team this morning.'

'Who's on the team?' Harry asked casually,

'Prewitt, Jones, McCarthy, and Zabini.' Kingsley replied just as casually.

'Blaise Zabini's an Auror?' Harry asked in disbelief.

'A Junior Auror, but yes.' Kingsley paused. 'Have you given any thought to working on the case?'

'I've considered it yes. In what capacity would I be working on it?'

'As a consultant. You would have access to all the teams information as would they to yours, but you wouldn't be required to attend the ministry, you'd be free to work from home.' Kingsley paused again. 'Though I would encourage you to come to the ministry at least to meet the rest of the team. It would do you good to get out.'

'I went out yesterday.' Harry grumbled.

Kingsley just looked at him.

'If I do this I'd need to be free to discuss it with Ron and Hermione.' Harry added.

'I would expect nothing less. You always were more effective as a group. Just ensure that they understand the consequences should they leak any information regarding the case to the press. Or anyone else for that matter.' Kingsley leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

Harry rolled his eyes. 'Please we've been avoiding the press for years.'

'I take it that means you're in?' Kingsley asked with a twinkle in his eye worthy of Dumbledore.

'I'm in.' Harry said.

…

That evening was Harry's monthly visit to Ron and Hermione's for dinner. As Harry had become more and more reclusive, they had become more and more insistent about seeing him for dinner each week, and Harry had started to run out of excuses to cancel. When he pulled the 'I have to wash my hair' excuse he knew he should just give up the game. Hermione promised that they would stop badgering him as long as he committed to a dinner every month without fail.

Harry always went, but this was the first time in over two years that he actually enjoyed himself.

He couldn't explain it really, he just knew there was a difference in him, like a light had switched on somewhere or a fog had lifted. He found himself chatting animatedly with them both, actually interested in what they had to say instead of just pretending as he had in the past. Or perhaps it was just the fact that he had news of his own to tell them for once that made him so animated.

Harry had brought the case file with him, and was patiently waiting until after they'd finished eating to show it to them.

They had moved from the kitchen to the living room, settling in for some more conversation and after dinner drinks when Harry finally brought it up. He pulled the case file from his pocket and enlarged it to its normal size.

'Kingsley came to see me a few days ago.' He said casually, placing the file on the table.

'That wouldn't have anything to do with your current good mood would it?' Hermione asked.

'I'm just surprised you actually let him in. I didn't think you would.' Ron added.

'You mean you knew he was coming to see me and you didn't give me a heads up?' Harry asked, feeling disgruntled.

'Well to be honest Harry I was afraid if we told you he might be coming that you would either strengthen your wards to block him or you'd simply move and set up somewhere else.' Hermione said with a stern look.

'Move? Why would I move because someone was coming for a visit?' Harry huffed.

'You moved 6 times in the year after the war ended.' Hermione pointed out. 'And not all of them were triggered by the press hounding you so don't use that as an excuse.'

'Wasn't one of them cause Seamus and Dean threw you a surprise party for your birthday?' Ron sniggered.

Harry glared at Ron. 'You shouldn't have let them into my house in the first place, you bloody knew that I'd hate it and yet you practically encouraged them to do it.'

Ron held his hands up, 'I thought it would be good for you! I certainly didn't think it would make you pack up and move.'

Hermione shook her head. 'Let's get back to the original point shall we?' She turned to Harry. 'You were saying that Kingsley came to see you?'

'Yes.' Harry said shortly. 'Though I expect you know why since you seemed to be in on the conspiracy.'

'For crying out loud mate it isn't a conspiracy. Your self imposed isolation has made you barmy!' Ron exclaimed.

Hermione shot Ron a dark look. 'What he means to say is that we don't know what it was about. Only that he wanted to contact you and asked us for advice on how to do that. Nothing more.'

'Fine I believe you. Just tell me next time if I'm to expect visitors. I promise I won't run away.'

'Okay fine we promise we'll tell you. Now tell us what this was about.' Hermione said in earnest.

'Nothing good I'm afraid.' Harry gestured towards the file. 'He wants my help with this case.'

'What case?' asked Ron, as Hermione pulled the file towards her and started reading.

'Oh my, this has been on the news Harry, both wizarding and muggle.' She said as she pulled out the first of the photographs. 'This is awful.'

'This is the case?' Ron asked, peering over Hermione's shoulder to look at information on the first murder. 'The murder of Lydia Rozanov? That Russian witch who's doing research on a new truth serum? That's been all over the Daily Prophet.'

'Ron there's more than one murder in this file.' Hermione said, pulling out the second photograph.

'What?' Ron said. 'I don't understand. They want you to work on two different cases? What's the connection?'

'It's not two its five.' Hermione whispered.

'Ron what has the prophet been reporting about Lydia Rozanov's death?' Harry quickly asked. 'Did they say how she was killed?'

'No nothing specific. You know the Prophet, it's mostly rumors and hearsay and not much actual truth.' Ron said. 'The most they've said is that they suspect it was a political killing due to the manner in which she was killed.'

'Why would it be a political killing?' Harry wondered.

'Harry this is the problem with you isolating yourself, you have no idea of what's going on in the outside world do you?' Ron said. 'Lydia Rozanov was a Russian witch visiting London at the time she was killed. She was receiving a lot of attention in the media at the time because of this research she was doing on truth serums. It was very controversial actually.' He added.

'So that's why they're reporting it as being a political killing? Because she was Russian?' Harry asked. 'Or because it was controversial research? That's crazy.'

Hermione finally looked up from the case file to weigh in on the conversation. 'It's a combination really of both her nationality and her research. Ron was right when he said it was controversial. By all reports she was a brilliant witch and this research was going to change the face of potions if she was successful. The problem was a lot of people didn't want it to succeed. That's why the Prophet and a lot of other papers are saying it was political; they think she was killed to prevent her research getting into the hands of the Russian government.'

'It's not political.' Harry said flatly. 'I don't see how it can be.'

Ron was sifting through the file now, his brow furrowed in concentration. 'I don't understand. These murders are all different from each other, done at different times, places, and the victims are all from different countries even. Why are they in the same file?'

'There's once very important linking factor Ron.' Harry said. 'They were all killed without magic.'

'Wait so you're saying a muggle did this?' Ron asked. 'All of these killings were done by a muggle? That doesn't make sense.'

'It couldn't be a muggle.' Hermione said. 'The victims were all witches and wizards, no muggle could subdue a wizard for the length of time needed to do this to a victim. Any magic user would easily be able to escape.'

Harry nodded. 'That's what the ministry thinks. We can only conclude that the killer is a wizard with muggle knowledge who is holding a serious grudge against magic.' Harry paused. 'With serious psychological problems.' He added.

'So you're saying we're dealing with a wizard serial killer?' Hermione asked.

'What's a serial killer?' Ron asked.

'It's a muggle term for someone who kills multiple people in a fairly short span of time.' Hermione said briskly.

'Blimey.' Ron said, as he continued to look through the files. 'This is horrible. I don't understand why anyone would do this. Muggles are awful.'

'I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that Ronald.' Hermione snapped. 'Not all muggles are like that obviously, and many wizards are just as bad or have you completely forgotten Voldemort?'

Ron had the decency to at least blush. 'Voldemort was in a different league altogether.' He said. 'Besides what I meant was that wizard killings are usually done by the killing curse, this is just so messy and gruesome, and painful.'

'All death is messy and gruesome and painful Ron.' Harry said flatly. 'I understand that this is hard for you to deal with since you have no concept of muggle violence, and believe me I've been there myself over the last two days, but don't forget what we have on our hands here is worse than a simple muggle serial killer. It's a wizard responsible for these killings Ron, it has to be. No muggle could have subdued a wizard like this. What he did to them took time, and by all reports the victims were completely immobilized throughout the ordeal.'

'A wizard serial killer.' Hermione said. 'I didn't ever consider that this could happen.'

'Neither did I.' Harry said. 'It was naïve of us. We're all human beings, both muggles and wizards, there is no reason why the worst of humanity shouldn't be just as present in wizarding society as in muggles.'

Hermione nodded faintly. 'You're right.'

'How do they know that these murders are all done by one person?' Ron asked sifting through the case file once again. 'If they weren't killed by magic then there isn't a trace left behind. I mean yes that's the same in all the victims, but what other proof do they have? All the methods used are different. One was killed with a knife, one was strangled, one was killed by gun shot. What's gun shot?'

'It's a muggle weapon.' Hermione explained.

'That's what Kingsley wants me to start with.' Harry said. 'They need to know why all these people were targeted. Was it random or was there something common among them? Right now it's really just a hunch that this is the work of a serial killer, but they don't know for sure. It could be the work of a group.'

'I really hope it's just one person.' Ron said. 'I don't think I could cope with another set of Death Eaters.'

'Harry what's this?' Hermione had picked up the receipt and the back ground check that he and Snape had found.

'That's our only lead.'

'What does Snape have to do with this?' she asked.

Harry sighed. 'Probably or should I say hopefully nothing.'

'What on earth does that mean?' Ron asked.

'It means that Snape may or may not have sold a bottle of Felix Felicis to the killer, or possibly one of the victims.' Harry said.

'He what?' Ron exclaimed. 'That stupid idiotic git! A wizard hating killer with liquid luck?'

'That's the real reason why Kingsley went to see you isn't it?' Hermione asked. 'He wanted your help contacting Snape.'

'Yeah he did. I went to see him two days ago.' Harry confirmed.

'You saw Snape?' Ron exclaimed. 'I can't believe you didn't lead with that Harry! What did he say? Did he throw you out of his house? Is he still an ass?'

Harry gave Ron a withering look that would have made Snape proud. 'Please at least try and treat Snape with respect. He's earned it and then some.'

'Doesn't mean I have to like him though.' Ron muttered.

'I stayed with him while we went through his records looking for evidence of the sale.'

'You stayed with Snape?' Hermione asked raising her eyebrows slightly.

'Yes I did.' Harry replied, deliberately not mentioning that he practically had to beg to stay.

Ron sniggered. 'How did that go?'

Harry laughed. 'Slightly better than expected actually. But only slightly.'

'So is he helping with the case too then?' Ron asked.

'I don't think so. He didn't seem to want anything to do with it.'

'You seem disappointed Harry.' Hermione noted.

'Maybe I am.' Harry said. 'I just always wanted to get to know him better you know? There must be something underneath all that defensiveness. I think he deserves a chance to let it all go you know?'

'Are you talking about Snape or yourself?' Hermione asked.

'I guess maybe I'm talking about both of us.'

Hermione nodded.

Ron decided it was time to change the subject. 'Harry I'm surprised that Kingsley is letting you discuss this with us. Isn't it all confidential?'

Harry shrugged. 'I told him I wanted to discuss it with you both. I assured him that you wouldn't go running to the press or anything.'

'Why do you need to talk to us about it Harry?' Hermione pressed. 'It's not like we see that much of you anymore. I practically have to drag you here each month.'

'You're still my family though. You're only family I have. I guess I thought that if I talked to you about it then it might be a good thing. We three always did get better results when we worked together. Even Kingsley said that.'

Hermione smiled. 'That's very true. Mostly because you two were complete idiots who would go rushing head first into anything without even considering the danger!'

Harry smiled back at her. 'Pretty much.' he agreed.

'Do you want our help on this Harry?' Ron asked. 'Because I have to say I'm not sure I want to.'

'I'm not sure. I wanted to talk to you about it, and maybe bounce some ideas off you, but I don't expect you to drop everything and help. It's pretty gruesome, and frightening, and you both have your own full time jobs to do. I guess I just wanted you to know about it.'

Ron nodded. 'Thanks Harry.'

Hermione picked up the case file. 'Do you have another copy of this? Can you leave this one here?'

'Yeah I have another copy.' Harry replied.

'I understand why Ron doesn't really want to help, but there is something about this that makes me want to look into it more. I want to know why those five victims were chosen. I want to help with that.'

Harry nodded.

'Leave it with me then, and I'll do some research.' Hermione said, placing the file back on the coffee table.

Harry smiled. For a moment it felt like they were back at Hogwarts and Hermione had just announced that she was going to the library.

…

Harry found himself up quite late that night, upon coming home from Ron and Hermione's he had spread out the contents of the case file on his dining room table grouped by each victim. He was paying close attention to the back ground information, hoping he could find some sort of a connection.

There was a sharp knock on his front door.

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin in fright. His heart started beating very fast. He certainly wasn't expecting anybody, particularly at this late hour.

He quickly pulled out his wand and checked his wards; they were still in place, which could only mean that his late night visitor was a trusted friend, or that there was a powerful possibly psychotic dark wizard knocking at his door.

The knock came again, louder and more insistent than the first time.

Harry assumed the first was true and this was a friend, not a psycho serial killer and went to answer it (wand in hand).

He opened the door to find the last person on earth he expected. 'Huh.' He said in surprise.

Snape was standing on his doorstep in a long dark travelling cloak and carrying a small bag. He raised his eyebrows at Harry. 'That's all you have to say?' he asked. 'Are you going to let me in?'

Harry completely forgot his manners, he meant to say 'yes' but what came out was - 'What on earth are doing here?'

Snape looked seriously at Harry without a trace of contempt or derision. 'I want to help.'


	5. Some roads lead nowhere

Harry looked dumbly at Snape. 'I'm sorry you want to what?'

'Shut your mouth Potter and let me in.' Snape snapped. 'You heard me perfectly. I want to help with the investigation and I certainly can't do that from your front step.'

Harry shook his head, almost as if that might clear the illusion and make Snape disappear.

'Are you going to let me in or not?' Snape asked irritably.

Harry moved aside and let him in, closing the front door behind him. 'Do you have any idea what time it is?' He asked.

'You clearly weren't asleep so stop complaining.' Snape said, taking off his travelling cloak to reveal his typical black wizarding robes underneath.

'That's not really the point you know.' Harry said, taking Snape's cloak. He felt like he was in a dream. 'How did you know where I live?'

'Kingsley.' Snape said shortly.

'You went to see Kingsley?' Harry said in surprise.

'Yes believe it or not I actually set foot in the ministry today. Are we going to stand in your entranceway all night?' Snape looked at Harry expectantly.

Harry frowned. 'The kitchen's this way.' He said, hanging up Snape's cloak in the hallway cupboard and waving him down the hallway.

Snape looked odd sitting in Harry's kitchen. There was no other way to describe it. So odd in fact that Harry felt compelled to say so. 'I never thought I'd see you of all people sitting in my kitchen.'

'You and me both Potter.' Snape said drily.

'This is very surreal.'

'Deal with it.'

'Okay.'

'I understand that you're working on the case as a consultant?' Snape queried.

'Yes. I mean I suppose. I only spoke to Kingsley about it this morning.' Harry said. 'When did you see him?'

'I went to the ministry this morning.' Snape said. 'I believe I spoke with him shortly after he returned from his visit with you.'

'I see.' Harry didn't really know what else to say.

Snape sighed. 'I see I'm going to have to do all the talking. I decided shortly after you left my cottage that I wished to help with the investigation. After attempting to talk myself out of it for several hours I instead decided to head to the ministry and discuss the case with Kingsley. Believe me this was easier said than done. When I was finally able to discuss it with him he suggested that I work in conjunction with you on a consultancy basis. He directed me here and assured me that I would be welcome.'

Harry nodded. 'You are welcome. I'm just surprised. I never considered that you'd want to help, or that you'd be able to tolerate working with me.'

'As it turns out you're not the worst company in the world Potter.' Snape said seriously. 'As for wanting to help, you could say I feel somewhat responsible. It seems to me as though my reasons for helping are far more likely than yours. This case has nothing to do with you, why do want to assist so badly?'

'I don't know.' Harry said honestly. 'Maybe because the concept of a wizard serial killer disturbs me so much, and maybe because I feel like I can help.' He paused. 'Or maybe because I'd do anything to feel alive again.'

Snape didn't comment, instead he tilted his head towards Harry's dining room, where he could see the contents of the case file laid out on the table. 'I assume that my arrival interrupted you working, despite the late hour?'

Harry shrugged. 'I suppose. I had barely started really. I'm looking for a connection between the victims.'

'Kingsley said as much. I suggest we both get some sleep and then begin with fresh eyes tomorrow.'

'You want to stay here then?' Harry asked, desperately thankful that Kreacher had cleaned his guest room since Michael had left.

'Is that a problem?' Snape raised his eyebrows.

'No.' Harry paused. 'For how long?'

Snape smirked. 'Let's just start with tonight.'

Harry nodded, and as he showed Snape to the guest room he managed to refrain from pointing out all the rooms along the way that Snape wasn't welcome in.

…

Harry woke early the next morning, hoping to wake before Snape did. However when he trudged into the kitchen to put on a pot coffee he found Snape sitting at the table, dressed immaculately and sipping a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Harry sighed. He had literally just pulled himself out of bed. He was wearing just his boxers and a ratty old Gryffindor t-shirt and his hair looked like a bird had set up home in it. So much for cultivating a mature and adult image.

'I helped myself.' Snape said, sipping his coffee and deliberately not looking at Harry. 'I hope that's alright.' It was not a question.

Harry just looked at him, then sighed again and turned and left the kitchen. He felt Snape's eyes on him as he left, and wondered why he cared so much what the man thought of him.

When he'd showered and dressed and brushed his hair, he returned to the kitchen. 'Yes that's fine.' He said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting at the table opposite Snape.

'That was quite the delayed response.' Snape commented. 'Not a morning person I take it?' He asked with a smirk.

'Not generally at six am no.'

'Hmmm.' Snape said, running his eyes over him.

Harry's heart skipped a beat, which annoyed him immensely. 'Why the sudden change of attitude Snape?' He said abruptly setting his coffee cup down on the table with a clunk.

Snape set his own mug down and glared at Harry. 'What on earth are you talking about?'

'Two days ago you were snarky and rude and were clearly suffering by having me in your house. Today you're practically normal. You haven't said one nasty thing and it's completely weirding me out' Harry said.

'Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a complete monster Potter. I am a guest in your home, so I'm not about to say nasty things as you so kindly put it, and what's more I'm not rude to people I respect.' Snape snapped his eyes flashing dangerously. 'However keep this pathetic and immature attitude up and my respect may just vanish!'

Harry frowned. He really didn't know what to think. Since when did Snape respect him? His attitude really had seemed to do a complete one eighty in the last few days, and he had to admit that the whole thing made him uncomfortable. And excited. Which made him feel more uncomfortable.

'You've changed too you realise.' Snape added.

Harry shrugged. 'Let's just say the respect is mutual.'

'Then can we stop talking about it and get to work please?'

Harry nodded. 'Sure.' He rose from his seat, collecting both coffee mugs and placing them in the sink. With a flick of his wand they began washing themselves up. 'I'll show you where I was up to last night, believe me I hadn't got very far.'

Snape followed him to the dining room where the case file was still spread out.

'There has to be some sort of connection between them. I refuse to believe they were targeted at random.' Harry said, picking up a photo of the first victim.

'I agree. Serial killers don't kill at random, there's always a reason, and we just have to find it.'

'So you do believe this is the work of a serial killer then? Not an anti-magic group, or politically motivated killings?' Harry asked.

'I think without a doubt there is an anti-magic element to this. It's not political, that makes no sense. Just look at this victim. Dimitri Gavrilov. He graduated first in his class at Durmstrang but since then had done nothing. He had no political affiliations, he wasn't even completing any additional study instead he was travelling around the world on his father's money. There is no way that this killing was for a political reason.' Snape said, sitting down at the table and pulling Dimitri Gavrilov's file towards him.

'I agree. However it doesn't really leave us anywhere.' Harry said. 'We still have no idea why the victims are connected.'

'We have to stop looking at them as a whole and start looking at them as individuals.' Snape said. 'You take the first two victims, and I'll take the last three. Make full and complete notes on each, and pay particular attention to your bloody handwriting. I want to be able to read what you've written.'

Harry smirked. 'I'll do my best sir.'

Snape glared at him, while Harry collected his two victim's files and retreated to his study.

'Feel free to work anywhere you like.' He called over his shoulder. 'You're welcome in any room of my house.' He added with a smile.

'Any room?' Snape called back suggestively.

Harry's stomach flip flopped again. Really this was getting ridiculous. Not only was the man not as toxic as usual, he was actually cracking jokes and borderline flirting! Determined to stay as far away from Snape as possible, he ensconced himself in his study and closed the door behind him for good measure.

When he reemerged several hours later he found that Snape had set himself up in the kitchen and had papers strewn over every inch of it, including the floor.

'Bloody hell I thought you were supposed to be super organized and tidy?' Harry commented.

'Whatever gave you that impression?'

'Your store cupboard.' Harry said without thinking.

Snape looked up from the piles of the paper and glared at Harry, his dark eyes glittering more malevolently than usual.

'Uhh' Harry trailed off completely lost for words.

'We will discuss this further at a more appropriate time Potter.' Snape spat, and Harry felt like he was an eleven year old first year again as he lowered his eyes and looked at the floor.

Thankfully that only lasted a second.

Snape sighed. 'Shall we discuss what we have both discovered over lunch?'

Harry nodded. 'Fine. Although to be honest I didn't find much.'

Neither had Snape as it turned out.

As they sat munching the sandwiches that Kreacher had prepared for them they discussed what they had found on each of the victims.

The first two victims were both Russian - Dimitri Gavrilov and Lydia Rozanov. Gavrilov seemed to be a nobody, he had been top of his class at Durmstrang but hadn't made much of himself since. He was one of two victims not killed in Britain, instead he was murdered in the back of an alley in a wizarding district in St Petersburg.

Lydia Rozanov was murdered in her room at the Stamping Griffin Inn just outside of London. She had just given a lengthy speech to the Ministry that morning on the importance of her new truth serum. Snape said that while her research was indeed brilliant it was most certainly controversial and completely unethical. Unlike Veritaserum which wears off fairly quickly Rozanov's truth serum had much longer lasting effects, and in some cases had proven to be permanent.

Harry was thankful that her murder had at least stopped the research in its tracks. Unethical was not the word he would have used for it, horrifying more like.

The third victim was a German wizard by the name of Elias Fink. Neither Harry nor Snape had a clue as to how he was connected or why he'd been targeted. The man was an 80 year old recluse who had barely been seen or heard for over twenty years. The German aurors believed that he had been killed in his house but his body was discovered in the middle of a street five miles away. One thing Snape had found was a weak connection to a wizard named Goffrey Bach, who was rumoured to be the greatest dueller in Germany. Snape was eager to find out more but had exhausted the resources they had. He wanted to search the ministry archives for more information.

The fourth victim was an English herbologist by the name of Margaret Pembly. Similar to Lydia Rozanov, Ms. Pembly had recently begun work on research into growth and nutrition in Whomping Willow's. She had received a grant from the ministry two days before her death.

The fifth victim was from the United States. Robert Marley was the chief ward maker at Ilvermorny. Marley was in London presenting a conference on advanced warding when he was killed. The murder had almost caused an international incident.

Harry pushed back from his chair on frustration. 'I just don't see how they're connected. We need more information.'

'More information won't necessarily help Potter. We need the right information. Not everything is connected.'

'It seems almost as if they were targeted for their recent fame, but that only applies to Rozanov, Pembly and Marley. It doesn't explain Gavrilov or Fink.' Harry added.

'It wasn't because of notoriety Potter.' Snape said scathingly. 'It's to do with magic. They were all special somehow. We just need to find out how. We need access to the archives.'

'Okay so tomorrow we go to the archives' Harry said. 'I should visit Ron and Hermione too and see if Hermione's found anything.'

'No doubt she has.' Snape murmured snarkily.

Harry raised his eyebrows in annoyance. 'Why were you so horrible to her in school? I understand why you hated me. I think it was childish of you, but I understand it. But I can't understand why you were so cruel to her.'

Snape raised his eyes to Harry. 'Why did you constantly steal from my store cupboard?'

'Uhhhhh. Never mind.' Harry said. He had just got used to Snape acting like a person and he didn't want to start an argument.

'Now who's being childish?'

Harry shrugged.

'Potter if you want answers to your questions then you have to give something in return. Quid pro quo.' Snape said.

'What?'

'It's Latin you moron. It means to give in order to receive. Ask your questions and I'll answer, but for every question you ask I'll have one of my own. And I expect honest answers.'

Harry paused for a moment to consider. 'I'll give you honest answers, but you won't like them, and I expect you to deal with it appropriately and not throw anything at me.' He said seriously.

Snape's mouth twitched a little as if he was suppressing a smirk. 'Fine then, ask your first question.'

Harry folded his arms in front of his chest. 'Why were you so horrible to Hermione? Is it honestly that you just hate all Gryffindor's? Cause I find that surprising and disappointing.'

'That's two questions Potter.'

Harry just raised his eyebrows expectantly.

'Sorry to disappoint you but I hate all students. They are annoying, immature little twits. You were too wrapped up in yourselves to notice that I was mean to everyone not just you precious Gryffindor's.'

'You weren't mean to the Slytherin’s though.' Harry said darkly.

Snape sighed. 'Of course I wasn't. For two reasons. Firstly I was responsible for their safety and wellbeing, secondly their successes reflected well upon me, therefore it made sense for me to praise them and give them points.'

Harry shook his head. 'You're right I am disappointed. You realize that was completely unfair.'

Snape shrugged. 'You're forgetting I'm a Slytherin and ex Death Eater Potter. We don't care about what's fair; we only care about what can get us ahead.'

Harry narrowed his eyes at Snape. 'You could have been so much more.' He said softly, staring straight into his dark eyes and holding his gaze.

Snape stared back at Harry. 'I guess we'll never know Potter. I myself rather doubt it. We are defined by our choices, and I have a nasty habit of making all the wrong ones.'

'You still have time.' Harry said quietly. 'Besides I know you've made some very good choices too, and they seem to be the ones that were the hardest.'

'Enough of this.' Snape said abruptly, breaking their eye contact. 'How many times did you steal from my store cupboard?'

'Just once. I think.' Harry said.

'You seriously expect me to believe that you only stole from me once?' Snape said incredulously.

'Well actually if you want to get technical I personally never stole from you. It was Hermione.' Harry mumbled.

'No doubt it was your idea though.'

Harry sniggered. 'Well actually it was her idea, we were so shocked that she was even suggesting it but under the circumstances it's not really that surprising.'

'And what exactly were the circumstances?' Snape's voice was getting quieter and was taking on a dangerous tone.

'Well it was second year, and the Chamber of Secrets had been opened and everyone kept saying that all muggle borns were going to be killed. We were frightened, and the teachers weren't really doing anything.'

'The teachers didn't appear to be doing anything,' Snape interrupted. 'In fact we were doing plenty but you were too self-involved and stupid to realize that.'

'Yes probably.' Harry said. 'Shall I continue?'

'Oh please do.' Snape said in that dangerous tone.

'Everyone thought that I was the heir of Slytherin. Which of course I wasn't., although on reflection I easily could have been I guess, since I could actually open the chamber.' Harry trailed off frowning. 'I never thought of that before.'

'Get on with it Potter.' Snape snapped.

'We all thought that if anyone knew who the heir of Slytherin was it would be Malfoy, only the problem was that there was no way he'd confide in anyone except Crabbe or Goyle.'

Snape sighed. 'I'm beginning to see where this is going.'

'It was actually Hermione's idea to make the Polyjuice potion, and she did the bulk of the work too.'

'Obviously.' Snape drawled. 'Neither yourself or Mr. Weasley were up to making a potion of that level.'

'Obviously.' Harry agreed. 'She checked the book out of the library and we made the potion in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.' He said in a rush, feeling very much like he was about to end up in detention, or in some serious physical pain.

'How exactly did she check out the book from the library? A book with that potion in it would be in the restricted section and she was a second year. No teacher would fall for that.'

'You're forgetting who the DADA teacher was that year.' Harry pointed out.

Snape groaned. 'I'd been trying to block that memory out, thank you Potter.'

Harry grinned. 'You're welcome. So is that all? Can we move on now?'

'Not a chance in hell Potter.' Snape growled. 'How exactly did you manage to steal the additional potions ingredients you needed? Where did you get them from?'

'You promised not to throw anything at me.' Harry said furtively.

'Out with it Potter.'

'Hermione said she would do it, cause both Ron and I had gotten in too much trouble from you already that year. So she snuck into your office and stole them.' Harry said quickly, looking at the floor.

'I would have seen her.' Snape said shortly.

'It was my job to create a diversion.' Harry whispered.

'Explain.' Snape hissed.

'Remember when Goyle's cauldron exploded? And you fished a firework out of it? Yeah that was me.'

Snape looked at Harry for a few moments, and then did the last thing Harry expected. He burst out laughing.

Harry felt all the tensions inside him dissipate instantly. Although it was quickly replaced with irritation. 'What's so funny?' he huffed. 'Here I was shitting myself cause I thought you'd have killed me for that and yet you sit here laughing.'

Snape stopped laughing instantly. 'Believe me I want to kill you for that. It really is typical of you and your friends Potter. You could have killed someone you realize? I was only laughing because I was absolutely certain that it was you who had thrown it however I had no proof whatsoever at the time.'

'Why were you so certain that it was me?' Harry asked.

'Because it was the same kind of stupid careless stunt that your father and his friends would have pulled.'

This made Harry mad. 'Why must you always compare me to my father Snape? After all this time you really can't see me as a separate person can you? We were nothing like they were at school.'

Snape looked at Harry seriously. 'You threw the firework Potter.'

There was silence.

Harry didn't know what to say.

'Do you have any other questions for me?' Snape asked mildly.

'Yes.' Harry replied shortly. 'But not right now, I've had enough for one day.'

Snape nodded. 'As you wish Potter. I should make arrangements to visit the ministry archives tomorrow.'

Harry nodded slightly.

'And you should visit Miss Granger and see what she's found out.' Snape added.

Harry nodded again, scowling slightly. He felt confused, and he felt unbelievably disappointed. He had thought that Snape had started to see him as his own person finally, and not as an extension of his father. He guessed that was probably never going to happen now. Although the man had a point, he did throw the firework.

Harry decided not to dwell on it, and uncrossed his arms and stood up, gathered some of his papers into a satchel, and added the case file to it. He moved to the hallway cupboard and pulled on his travelling cloak.

'Potter?' Snape called from behind him.

'Mmmm?' Harry replied, not turning around.

'I don't think you're like your father. Not anymore.' Snape's voice was soft and calm, and curled around Harry like a soft warm flame.

Harry turned to look at him, and was met by Snape's dark eyes burning into his. 'I appreciate that.' He murmured.

Snape had also put his cloak on, obviously intending to visit the ministry. 'Shall we?' He asked, gesturing towards the door.

Harry nodded, feeling uncertain. Together they walked to the front door, and Harry pulled it open.

There was a note pinned to the front of it. Both Harry and Snape stopped in shock, and then leaned in to read it.

_'Let me haunt you with these words. I'll be back, I'll be back._

_Yours in murder,_

_Mr Monster_.'


	6. Know this, I noticed

Harry stared dumbly at the note, the front door still wide open. With frightening speed Snape pushed Harry behind him, snatched the note from the front of the door and slammed it shut.

Harry's mind was numb; he couldn't seem to function properly. He absently noticed that Snape still had his arm around him and had pulled out his wand and was silently waving it at the door.

'Snap out of it Potter.' Snape growled, finally letting go of Harry and pushing him back into the hall gently.

'I'm fine.' Harry murmured.

Snape glared at him. 'Sure you are.'

'I'm just a little shocked.'

'Sometimes I wonder how exactly you got the best of the Dark Lord.' Snape muttered, taking Harry by the arm and gently leading him towards the kitchen. He sat him down in a chair and placed the note gingerly on the kitchen table.

'I cared more than him.' Harry said absently.

'What?'

'Than the Dark Lord, I mean Voldemort. Why do you call him the Dark Lord?' Harry wondered. 'I beat him because I cared more than he did. Didn't you know that was my secret weapon? I knew what love was and he didn't.'

'Love is bullshit.' Snape said.

Harry nodded. 'Yes I think so too.' He noticed then that there was a glass of water on the table in front of him. Snape must have got it. He took a long drink.

'Feel better?'

Harry nodded.

'Can we discuss this now?' Snape asked, gesturing to the note sitting on the table.

'Yes.' Harry said. 'I'm fine honestly I was just shocked.'

'As was I.'

'Do you think it's from the killer?' Harry questioned.

Snape sighed and leaned back in his chair all the way, running his hands through his hair. 'I suspect so. I can't see how it could possibly be a hoax.'

'I don't see how the killer could possibly know where I live, or that I was working on the case.' Harry said flatly.

'It could mean it's someone you know.' Snape said softly.

'It's not.'

'Don't be an idiot.'

Harry glanced up quickly. 'Snape, it's not someone I know. Let it go.' He snapped.

Snape glared back at him but chose to hold his tongue.

'We have to tell Kingsley about this.' Harry said.

'Yes. However I don't feel so inclined to go out at this time of night and tell him. Whoever left the note could still be here.'

'So in the morning then?'

Snape nodded. 'Yes but I'll send him a message by Patronus now, and let him know what's happened.'

'Snape if you send a message by Patronus that can be traced back here. It will breach the wards.' Harry said.

Snape looked Harry in the eye. 'Potter, the wards have already been breached.'

Harry sighed, and then nodded. 'Do it.'

He watched silently as Snape pulled out his wand and cast the patronus charm. Within minutes he had given it instructions and they had watched the silver doe gambol off into the night.

…

Harry couldn't sleep. As hard as he tried to drift off it was impossible, his brain just wouldn't switch off. Eventually he gave up and sat up in bed, running his hands over his face.

'I didn't expect my life to end up like this.' He muttered. He couldn't believe that he once again was the target of a madman. What was it about him? Did he just attract psychopaths? Snape had alluded to the fact that the killer was someone he knew, but he just couldn't see it. He needed to talk to Ron and Hermione, and find out if they knew anything.

For the first time he fervently wished that his fireplace was attached to the floo network. It would be so much easier if he could simply stick his head in the fire and talk to them. He felt a large weight fall deep in his stomach. He missed them, he missed Neville, he missed Hogwarts, and he missed Dumbledore.

Well sitting here and feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to solve a damn thing. He stood and moving to his drawers pulling out a t shirt and threw it on. He padded softly out to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, only to stop in the doorway when he discovered he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep.

Snape was sitting at the kitchen table nursing what appeared to be a glass of fire whiskey. The bottle was sitting half full in the middle of the table next to the note the killer had left.

'I thought you went to bed?' Harry asked softly.

Snape shrugged. 'I couldn't sleep.'

'You're still wearing your clothes from yesterday.' Harry smirked.

Snape gestured to the bottle on the table. 'I hope you don't mind.'

'I don't mind.' Harry said. 'Do you mind if I join you?'

'It's your kitchen Potter.'

Harry took that as a yes, and pulled out the chair opposite Snape and poured himself a glass. 'This wasn't quite the drink I had in mind.' He murmured.

Snape looked at him steadily. 'What were you after?'

'Tea.' Harry said. 'This is better.' He added after a moment.

The two of them sat awkwardly together in silence.

'I think we should stay at my cottage from now on.' Snape said. 'It isn't safe here.'

We? Harry blinked in surprise. Since when were they a we? 'What makes your place safer than mine?' he asked aloud.

'The fact that a serial killer hasn't walked right up to the front door and pinned a note on it.' Snape said drily. 'Honestly Potter did you really think that trust wards were strong enough?'

'Excuse me, I believe that you have trust wards on your cottage? What makes your wards stronger than mine?'

'Still as infuriating as ever aren't you?' Snape said quietly with a smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes.

'It's a valid question.'

'It isn't.' Snape said quickly. 'I use trust wards because they are my best option. You however have many options, the Fidelius charm for example. Why didn't you use that?'

Harry snorted. 'The Fidelius charm is a little bit of overkill don't you think? Considering I wasn't in any danger. I just wanted to be left alone.'

'No I don't think.' Snape said seriously. 'Considering you're now in danger again. You're like a magnet to it.'

'Well I didn't expect to be in danger again did I? I just wanted to be left alone. Besides we don't actually know for sure that I am in danger just yet. Let's wait and see what Kingsley says.'

'I still think you will be better off at my cottage.' Snape grumbled.

'I don't think so.' Harry said carefully. He wasn't sure why but he felt rather uncomfortable with the idea. 'If he found me here, then he could just as easily find me there. Besides, you're the one with a possible connection to the killer not me. For all we know you're the one in danger.'

'I seriously doubt that. And you haven't answered my question.'

'What?' Harry asked, confused.

'Why didn't you, or why don't you use the Fidelius charm?'

'It didn't work out that well for my parents did it?' Harry said without thinking.

Snape stiffened, and swiftly downed the rest of his drink. 'Only because they trusted the wrong people.'

Harry could have kicked himself. 'Snape I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.'

'Don't. I don't want your pity Potter.' Snape said his voice harsh.

Harry looked away. 'I don't want to put Ron or Hermione in danger, and I don't trust anyone else enough to make them a secret keeper. That's the real reason I don't want to use the Fidelius charm.'

'You have me. Surely after everything you've witnessed you could trust me with this?'

Harry turned back to meet Snape's eyes. 'In case you hadn't noticed, I don't want to put you in danger either. You've already sacrificed enough to keep me safe. Besides up until a few days ago I didn't have you.'

'It wasn't a sacrifice, it was a choice.' Snape said, choosing to ignore the rest of what Harry had said.

'And so is this.'

'The vow I made doesn't just disappear now the Dark Lord is dead Harry. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, and I'd appreciate it if you'd not make my life quite so difficult this time round please.' Snape said firmly.

'Harry?' Harry raised his eyebrows. 'I can't believe you just used my first name, I didn't know you had it in you.'

'I'm tired of referring to you as Potter. It makes me think of your father, and that just makes me angry.'

'I'm tired of referring to you as Snape. It feels disrespectful.' Harry confessed.

'Then call me by my name. As much as it pains me we're on equal footing now and therefore the same rules of etiquette apply to us both.' Severus said.

'The same rules of etiquette?' Harry questioned. 'Seriously?'

'Yes.'

'Why are you always so formal?'

'Why are you always so foolhardy?' Snape countered.

'Cause I'm a Gryffindor.' Harry smirked.

'Enough said.'

'I want to stay here.' Harry said softly. 'But I promise I won't be as foolhardy this time, as long as you promise the same.'

'What do you mean?' Severus asked, confused.

Harry took a deep breath. 'I couldn't bear to watch you die again.'

Severus looked up in what Harry thought was surprise, but he didn't say anything. He simply held Harry's gaze until eventually Harry looked away.

'Let's both be more careful this time.' Severus said quietly, with a strange edge to his voice.

Harry looked at his now empty glass and decided to pour himself another drink. The memory of Severus dying in front of him, of watching the light actually leave his eyes still gave him nightmares.

'Why don't you use the Fidelius charm?' He asked, after he downed his second drink and had poured a third. 'You questioned why I use trust wards, but you said they were your best option. Why do you think that?'

'I use them because I have no choice. I have no personal relationships and next to no human contact, which is why trust wards make more sense for me. There are less loopholes when there are less people in your life.' Severus said.

'It's not fair.' Harry said.

'A typical response from you, but one that needs clarification none the less. What's not fair?'

'It's not fair that you have no one to be your secret keeper. It's not fair that people who don't know anything about you judge you so harshly. You shouldn't have to live like this!' Harry's voice broke.

'You really haven't learned a thing have you Potter?' Severus snapped. 'It's completely fair. Actions have consequences, and these are mine. In fact these are my consequences by choice! I choose to live in seclusion much as you do. I chose to dedicate my life to destroying the dark lord and to protecting you. I don't have close personal relationships because the thought of losing another person I love is worse than the thought of being alone for the rest of my life. I am not a victim, and don't deserve or require anyone's pity especially yours.'

'I don't pity you.' Harry said. 'No one knows like I do the consequences of your actions. But that doesn't stop me from feeling as though it's my fault that your life has been so hard, and that I could have done much better by you throughout my years as your student, and especially during the war. I just want you to know that I know that.'

Severus stood up. 'I own my life and my actions Potter. You are not responsible for any of it, and you aren't allowed to feel my guilt.' He snapped. 'You should get some sleep.' With that he swooped off down the corridor to the guest room and shut the door firmly behind him.

'What about my guilt? Harry muttered. 'Am I allowed to feel that?'

…

The note was now sitting in the middle of the conference table at the Auror central headquarters at the Ministry of Magic.

Harry and Severus had been there all morning and Harry couldn't help but feel as though their time had been wasted. Apparently all it took to be an auror was the ability to discuss things at great lengths without actually coming to agree on anything.

This was probably an unfair assessment, but as Harry stared at the note sitting on the table he couldn't help but feel as though the note wouldn't have been delivered right to his door step if the team of aurors had been a little more decisive to begin with.

'Harry?'

Harry snapped out of his daze and looked up. 'Sorry what?' He wasn't even sure who had said his name.

Severus was frowning at him. He had barely spoken to him all morning except for a few grunts of acknowledgments over breakfast, and now he was looking at him as though he was bringing shame on Slytherin house. Which was quite the feat since he wasn't even in Slytherin.

'Harry?' Blaise Zabini said again.

'Yes, sorry did you ask something?'

'I just asked if you're sure you have no personal connection with any of the victims?'

This was why Harry had zoned out. He had already answered that question twice. He didn't know how to make it any clearer. 'Yes I'm sure. As yet Snape and I haven't been able to connect the victims with each other either.'

'Yes as we stated earlier we also haven't found anything to connect them. What little evidence that was found at the crime scenes so far hasn't given us any leads.' Prewitt said. Arthur Prewitt was the head auror on the case, and so far as Harry could tell he'd done ninety percent of the talking and ten percent of the work.

'We seem to be going around in circles here.' Severus interrupted. 'Might I suggest that perhaps we are a little out of our depth and could use some outside assistance?'

'What exactly do you mean by outside assistance?' Prewitt asked with a sneer.

'As these are murders committed in a muggle fashion, perhaps it would be wise to consult with their crime force on this?' Severus said scathingly. 'In three of the four cases the victim was found by a muggle and therefore there must be a muggle investigation, it would be sensible to consult with them.'

Harry smirked. Severus managed to make them all sound like complete idiots for not suggesting it earlier.

'Are you sure that's necessary sir?' Zabini asked. 'After all, the killing itself may not have involved magic but magic was certainly used. What good would it really do to consult with them on this when we can't even give them all the details of the case?'

'Is there any evidence that magic was used?' Harry asked. 'Have you found any trace of it at any of the crime scenes?'

Zabini went red. 'No we haven't.'

'Then how can you be certain that magic was used?' Severus asked.

'We can't.' Kingsley's voice echoed from the doorway.

'Minister, thanks for dropping by,' Prewitt said standing up. 'We've been at a bit of a loss as to how to proceed.'

Harry rolled his eyes.

'Severus and Harry are right. We do need to consult with the muggles on this.' Kingsley said, throwing yet another case file on the table. 'I spoke with the head of their task force this morning. This file is all they have so far. Unlike us they believe that there are only two victims and that they may or may not be connected.'

'If they don't have information on all the murders then it's unlikely that their file will be much help.' Zabini said pompously.

'What's fingerprinting?' Jones asked, as he glanced through the muggle file. Jones was a wizard in his early forties (as near as Harry could tell) who so far had said very little, but seemed to have his head on well and truly straight.

'Fingerprints are a muggle way of tracing people.' Harry said. 'When we touch something we leave a print of our finger behind. Muggles can lift that print and use it to trace a person. Each fingerprint is unique. Kind of like how we trace a person's magic. It's the same concept I guess. Did they find any fingerprints?'

Jones turned a few more pages of the file. 'No. They say here that the killer must have been wearing gloves.'

'Of course he was.' Harry said. 'If he's killing like a muggle then he's thinking like a muggle. He would have been too smart to wear gloves.'

'How are we supposed to know how a muggle killer thinks?' Zabini muttered.

'Yet more evidence for why we should be working with them instead of against them.' Severus pointed out.

'You will be working with them.' Kingsley said briskly. 'I have organized for a muggle agent to work with you. Apparently muggles have specialized law enforcement for serial killers. These muggles are especially trained to understand the minds of these killers and to come up with a profile to help us find a suspect.'

'When will this agent arrive?' Prewitt asked, sounding not altogether happy with this news.

'In two days or so.'

'Why so long?' Severus asked. 'Shouldn't this be a priority?'

'The agent is coming from the United States, and is a member of the FDI.'

'FBI' Harry corrected automatically.

Kingsley raised his eyebrows at Harry.

Harry shrugged. 'Sorry.'

'As she is coming from another continent it does take some time to organize.'

Severus sighed. 'Why an American? Are English muggle agents somehow inferior to Americans?'

'Don't get your knickers in a twist Severus.' Kingsley said. 'This particular agent has over ten years' experience working with serial killers, she comes very highly recommended and most importantly has worked with wizards in America prior to this case. She knows all about this world which should be of a huge benefit to you all.' He paused, ‘And after one of their wizards was killed on our soil we were hardly in a position to say no.’

'Sounds good.' Harry said. 'Now is this meeting over? It seems unlikely that we will get any further today.'

'The note.' Jones said.

'What about it.' Prewitt replied with a frown.

'Well could the note have those fingerprint things on it?' Jones asked, looking at it as though it might blow up at any moment. 'The killer left it at a wizard's house; he may have assumed that we wouldn't check it for finger prints.'

'I'll ensure that it is sent to a muggle lab for processing.' Kingsley said.

Severus nodded his agreement. 'Good. Now let's adjourn. I'd like access to the ministry archives for the afternoon if possible?'

Kingsley nodded. 'Follow me'.

Harry assumed that he wasn't expected to follow, and wondered exactly what he was expected to do. He desperately wanted to check in on Ron and Hermione and given that Severus had barely spoken to him all day Harry wasn't sure if he would even return home that evening. Come to think of it he wasn't sure he wanted him to. Why did the man have to make things so complicated?

'Potter.' Severus called to him.

Great, he was back to being Potter. 'Yes?' Harry said, turning to face Snape.

'I assume you intend to visit your friends this afternoon?' Snape asked, voice dripping with distain.

'That's my intention yes. Why?'

'Please ensure that you are home before nightfall. I will meet you there.' Snape said with a small sneer and turned to follow Kingsley, who raised his eyebrows slightly but wisely stayed silent.

'Just as well I gave you a key then isn't it you git.' Harry muttered. He really wasn't sure what exactly he'd done to incur Snape's wrath, but he was already tired of it.

…

Ron and Hermione hadn't managed to find any more information that Harry and Snape had. However Hermione had also heard rumour that Elias Fink was the legendary wizard Goffrey Bach, and she strongly believed that the killings were all motivated by a strong hate for magic, and that the killer most likely was targeting gifted witches or wizards. That theory still didn't explain Dimitri Gavrilov who was essentially a nobody, but Harry hoped that Snape would discover something in the ministry archives.

It was mid-afternoon before they had finished going through the case files yet again, and now they were casually enjoying some scones with jam, and attempting to talk about anything else, with little success.

'I can't believe the killer actually left a note on your door.' Ron said with a shudder. 'What is it about you? You always seem to attract the psychopaths.'

'Thanks Ron.' Harry said drily.

'They haven't proven that it was the killer who sent it you know. It could have been from anyone.' Hermione said.

'Anyone wouldn't have known that I was consulting on the case.' Harry said.

'Well how would the killer know?' Ron asked. 'Unless he knows you, or unless he's watching you. Or watching the auror’s.'

'It's a creepy idea either way.' Harry said.

'Maybe they'll find a fingerprint.' Hermione said hopefully.

'They'll find finger prints alright.' Harry said. 'Both Severus and I touched that thing. I didn't really consider that I shouldn't have.'

'Severus eh?' Ron asked. 'Since when have you called him Severus?'

'Since this morning.' Harry said. 'I thought we had an understanding, but now he's being just as big an idiot as he always was.'

'Well people don't change overnight Harry.' Hermione said wisely.

'Hmm. That's true.' Harry pondered. 'Which makes me think that whoever the killer is, if he hates magic then he must have hated it for a long time now. Maybe if we can find evidence of it we can use it as proof, or just a clue to who he is. We really have no idea where to start.'

'I think it's a good idea that they are bringing in an FBI agent. You could really do with a profiler on this' Hermione said. 'Like you said you just need somewhere to start.'

'I just don't get the note.' Harry said. 'I don't understand the point of it. If he hates magic and wants to kill gifted witches and wizards then why would he choose to write to me thereby giving me more evidence to catch him with?'

'Maybe he feels like he has a personal connection with you.' Ron pointed out.

'I don't know him Ron.' Harry snapped.

'That's not what I meant, so stop jumping down my throat.' Ron snapped back. 'I meant simply that whether you like it or not you are in fact the reason that Voldemort is dead. Even though it's been five years people still look at you as the hero of the wizarding world. Maybe this killer sees you that way too, and that contacting you like this is some sort of a challenge.'

'Actually Harry that's quite likely.' Hermione said earnestly. 'Some notorious Muggle serial killers sent notes to the police who were in charge of the cases, in fact let me look something up.' She jumped up from the couch and headed out of the room. A few minutes later she had returned with a muggle laptop.

'How exactly do you get that thing to work here Hermione?' Harry asked. 'Doesn't the magic get in the way?'

'Harry for someone who grew up with muggles you're an incredible technophobe.' Hermione commented, as she started the machine and connected to the internet.

'You're forgetting I grew up with the Dursely's.' Harry said darkly.

'Good point.' Hermione replied. 'Do you have a copy of the note? Or do you remember what it said?'

'Every word of it is burned into my brain.' Harry said seriously. 'It's not something you'd forget. Why?'

'I just have a hunch. What did it say?'

'It said "Let me haunt you with these words. I'll be back, I'll be back. Yours in murder, Mr Monster."' Harry said, while Ron shuddered.

Hermione typed the words into a search engine on the lap top and hit enter. Several results came up.

'Who was Sam?' Ron asked, looking over Hermione's shoulder.

'The Son of Sam, not Sam. He was a serial killer in America.' Hermione said, clicking on a web page and scanning it quickly. 'His real name was David Berkowitz. According to this website he killed several people in New York City in the 1970's, and he left notes for the police. Including the same note that our killer left you Harry.'

'Our killer is clearly original then.' Ron said.

Hermione glared at Ron. 'This is serious. He could be trying to emulate David Berkowitz, or maybe he's just someone fixated on muggle serial killers in general. Either way he certainly seems intent on killing again.'

'Well at least we've cleared one thing up.' Ron said seriously. 'You're definitely the target of a psychopathic serial killer Harry.'

Harry shrugged. 'He may be fixated on me, but that doesn't mean I'm his target.'

'Then who is?' Ron asked. 'We have no idea who he's after next. Only that he's fixated on you and hates gifted witches and wizards.'

Harry looked at Ron for a moment. Then as one they both looked at Hermione.

'Gifted like you.' Ron said, looking at Hermione in fear.


	7. Things are going to get much, much worse

'You're overreacting.' Snape said impatiently.

'I'm not overreacting; I'm being practical and thinking ahead.' Harry retorted. He'd come home before nightfall as requested only to find that Snape was still in a foul mood. Or perhaps he had just reverted to form and snapped out of the good polite mood he'd been in earlier.

At any rate it was annoying, and Harry was trying to have a conversation with him about what they had discovered in regards to the note left on his door, and Harry and Ron's fears for Hermione. Severus didn't share his concerns for Hermione's safety or perhaps he simply didn't care, and Harry was having a hard time keeping his temper in check.

'You always overreact.' Snape pointed out. 'You have no evidence that the killer's motivation is a hate for magic, and even if it is there is no reason why Ms. Granger would be targeted. I hate to tell you this but she isn't as gifted as you all think she is!'

Harry closed his eyes and pressed two fingers against the bridge of his nose. 'No one has said she is the next target, simply that by sending me the note the killer – '

'There is also no proof that the note was sent by the killer.' Snape interrupted.

'He's targeted me and therefore might see one of my only close friends as a potential victim.' Harry finished, his eyes still closed in irritation. 'Surely you can agree that out of all my friends, and even any acquaintances that I may have had that Hermione is by far the most gifted? You don't think she could be a target?'

Snape sneered at Harry. 'I think that the three of you have always had over inflated opinions of yourselves. While Ms. Granger certainly showed the most magical aptitude whilst at Hogwarts she has failed to achieve what you yourself did before you even finished school. I do not believe she is a target, in fact I think the far more likely target is you, you are far more powerful than she is, and after all if the note was left by the killer then he left it for you and you alone.'

Harry's irritation grew. It seemed as though Snape had simultaneously insulted and complimented him, and he couldn't work out which he wanted to react to. 'I'm not saying she is a target just that I fear for her safety like I fear for my own, and Ron's, and yours.'

Snape spoke in a withering tone. 'You should be very careful Potter. Your fear for your friends has always led to you behaving in a childish manner, where you are completely controlled by your emotions and if memory serves your behaviour in those situations often leads to disastrous results.'

Harry felt like he'd been slapped. The irritation he felt in that moment gave way to cold fury, and when he spoke it was with quiet detached anger.

'You will not speak to me that way again.' He snapped. 'You will remember that this is MY house, and that at this moment you are an unwelcome guest in it. Don't presume to know anything about what I went through as a child or the emotions that led to decisions I made then. You have no right to throw them in my face. And you should remember certain decisions you made as a child that were borne of emotion and imagine how it would feel if I threw them back at you.'

Severus just looked at him; his arms still folded in front of him in what Harry supposed was an intimidating manner. It certainly wasn't intimidating to him. The sneer however had gone from Severus's face.

Harry broke the silence. 'I'm going to bed.' He said sharply, before turning his back on Snape and exiting the room, his robes billowing out behind him.

…

Unsurprisingly Harry found he could not sleep again that night, and once again he found himself up and in the kitchen. This time there was no sign of Severus, and frankly Harry was relieved.

He just didn't know how to deal with him. One second he was easy to converse with and relaxed, and someone Harry considered a friend, and the next he was caustic, rude and an all-out pain in the ass.

Harry stood at his kitchen window and gazed out into the forest. The view from this window was particularly beautiful bathed in moonlight, and this night was no different. He had lost count of how many nights he had spent this way, when nightmare's became too much or his brain just would not switch off. He felt a kind of calm wash over him, and he decided to just let these troubles with Severus go. The man was who he was, he wasn't going to change. Besides once this case was over he doubted he would see him again, after all he had managed to leave him alone for the past 5 years hadn't he?

This thought wasn't as comforting as Harry had thought it would be. What he actually wanted was for Snape to stop being an ass altogether and just stay the easy comfortable to be around Snape, and then maybe they could be friends. Was that too much to ask? He started slightly as he felt a warm soft body press around his bare ankles.

'I was wondering where you've been hiding.' He murmured softly, bending down and picking up Sorrell. 'I haven't seen much of you these last few days. You've been hiding from our house guest haven't you?' He pressed a purring Sorrell up to his face, revelling in the soft fur against his cheek. 'He's scary isn't he? A mean old man.'

Sorrell regarded Harry meaningfully as if communicating that Severus wasn't a mean old man, just misunderstood like he was.

'Well if he's just misunderstood then why have you been hiding from him hey?' Harry asked, holding Sorrell up and examining him. Sorrell fixed Harry with a knowing stare, and started to wriggle.

'Fine then.' Harry said letting him go and watching as he stalked haughtily out of the room. 'You know I think you two have too much in common! I bet you were a Slytherin cat weren't you?'

'Who on earth are you talking to?' Severus asked from behind him.

Harry jumped. 'Fuck Snape, you know how to sneak up on someone don't you?' He said, turning to face him.

'I didn't sneak. Nor did I intend to startle you. I simply couldn't sleep so came out here in search of refreshments.' Snape said, leaning against the doorway that led to the bedrooms.

'Well don't let me stop you.' Harry said.

Snape moved into the kitchen and opened a cupboard pulling a mug out and placing it on the bench top.

Harry watched him for a few moments and then turned back to gaze out of the window again. His calm feeling had disappeared.

'Harry?' Snape asked cautiously.

'Yes?' Harry asked continuing to gaze out the window into the night.

'I'm sorry for what I said earlier.'

Harry turned in surprise and looked at Severus. He seemed perfectly sincere. 'Well I bet that was hard to say.'

'You have no idea.'

'I appreciate that.' Harry said. 'Though what you said wasn't wrong, just cruel. I have in the past let my emotions control my actions and it has ended disastrously.'

'You were a child. It's to be expected.'

'I disagree.' Harry said softly. 'Having been in the situations I was as a child I think it was more a lack of communication that led to disaster rather than my immaturity. Even Sirius's death could have been avoided if any of the adults had actually bothered to keep me in the loop.'

'I always said that was Dumbledore's greatest weakness.' Severus said. 'He cared more for your childhood than for the role you were forced to play in the war. He could have prepared you much better.'

'Between you hating me and not telling me anything and him loving me and not telling me anything I don't know how I managed to get anything done.' Harry said. 'I'm surprised that Ron and Hermione got through it all unscathed.'

'And yet here we are making the same mistakes all over again.'

'Harry looked at Severus in surprise. 'No we aren't. We're here aren't we? We're in the same room, carrying on a semi civilized conversation –'

'Semi civilized?' Severus interrupted.

'I'm still angry at you.' Harry confessed. 'Though I'm not really sure why.'

'Perhaps it's become a habit?' Severus suggested.

Harry smirked. 'No it's not a habit. I think I feel angry because I know you were right, and that irritates me.'

'That may be, but you were right. It was cruel.' Severus said. 'I've been cruel much of my life, I don't think I know how to stop.'

'I think simply acknowledging that fact is a step in the right direction. You can only change if you want to.' Harry pointed out.

'I'm too old to change now.'

'You're not old.' Harry said in surprise. Where had that come from he wondered.

Severus just looked at him.

After a few moments he spoke. 'Harry I don't think that Hermione or Ron for that matter are in danger, however I promise to watch out for them if that would make you feel better.'

Harry felt a warm glow in the pit of his stomach. 'It would yes.'

'As long as you don't intend to bring them here to stay with us. I don't think I could cope with living with three Gryffindor's.' Severus growled.

Harry laughed. 'No I don't think you could either! I just want to check on them every few days, and I'm going to connect the fire place in the study to the floo network tomorrow.'

'It's about time.' Severus grumbled.

'Hey your place isn't connected to the floo either!' Harry said indignantly.

'That's because I hate the ministry and it hates me.' Severus said shortly.

'Could you be more dramatic?' Harry asked, with a raised eyebrow. 'I mean really.'

Severus smirked. 'Possibly. Nonetheless you can go to the ministry alone tomorrow while I check on Weasley and Granger.'

'That's fine.' Harry agreed. 'I'm sure I'll be safe in broad daylight. However I'd love to see Ron and Hermione's faces when you show up alone on their doorstep tomorrow.'

…

The first thing Harry did the next morning was connect his fire to the floo network. While he was sure the unwanted calls and interruptions that this would bring would irritate him he thought it was worth it given the convenience. He knew he'd be travelling from his home almost every day now and really it just wasn't practical to remain disconnected form the world.

At any rate it hadn't been a simple process and by the time he finally made it to the Auror headquarters it was almost eleven o'clock in the morning. Harry rounded the corner to find Prewitt waiting impatiently for him.

'Potter where have you been?' He asked snappily.

'Connecting my fire to the floo network. What's the rush?' Harry replied just as snappily.

Jones stuck his head around the corner of the conference room Harry had been heading to. 'We received another note Harry.'

'Excuse me?' Harry asked.

'Another note Potter. We received another note from the killer this morning.' Prewitt said impatiently.

'It was sent here?' Harry asked in alarm.

Jones nodded. 'Come and see.'

Harry bolted into the conference room and leaned over the table where the new note was sitting.

 _'When I die I will be reborn in paradise and all that I have killed will become my slaves, I get awfully lonely when I am ignored, I've got a little list, of society offenders. And I will kill again.'_ He read aloud from the note.

'Pretty chilling.' Prewitt said.

Harry nodded. 'Check the wording of this against records of muggle serial killers. The last note was a direct copy from one, I feel sure that this will be too. If it's the same killer then it's possible that ours will also emulate the killings themselves which could give us something to go on.'

'I'm on it.' Jones said. 'What was the name of the muggle killer?'

'David Berkowitz. Otherwise known as the Son of Sam.' Harry said.

'How do you know that?' Prewitt asked with a frown.

Harry frowned back. 'I looked it up.' He said sharply. 'When is the Muggle FBI consultant arriving?'

Prewitt smarted. 'She should be here tomorrow.'

Harry sat down and leaned back in his chair. 'And not a moment too soon.' He said quietly to himself.


	8. Do not go gentle

Severus was reluctant to visit the ministry the next day, his excuse being that he didn't have anything to say that hadn't been said already and that he didn't feel he could further contribute to the investigation especially now they had a muggle investigator on board.

Harry thought that was a load of crap. It was more likely that Severus was just uncomfortable around muggles and that despite him advocating the need for one he felt no desire to be in the same room as them. He wondered if that was a result of his upbringing or the many years he spent under Voldemort’s tuition.

He certainly wasn't game to ask. Instead he insisted that Severus would be useful even if only to keep things on track as he still had the gift of keeping a room quiet. Severus had raised his eyebrows to that, but didn't comment. He did however agree to accompany Harry to the Ministry.

The two of them arrived at the Auror headquarters to find the conference room fully prepared for their muggle visitor. The contents of the case file were spellotaped to the wall on the far side of the room in chronological order, including all the photographs and the two notes that the killer had left.

In front of the wall stood a young woman dressed simply in muggle clothes, blue jeans, a royal blue turtleneck and a black blazer, her brown hair pulled back into a pony tail. She studied the wall as if merely looking at it could reveal the killer to her.

Severus looked at Harry in surprise. If this was the muggle investigator it was not at all whom he expected. Harry just shrugged.

Jones appeared at the door beside them. 'Special Agent Sophie Bennett.' He said quietly gesturing to the woman, who hadn't seemed to notice they were there yet. 'She got here three hours ago and this was the first thing she did.' he pointed to the wall. 'She's been staring at it since she finished.'

'She did this?' Severus asked in surprise.

'Why are you surprised?' Sophie Bennett asked, turning to face them. 'Are you coming in or are you going to stand in the doorway all day?'

Harry could help but smirk at the sight of Snape speechless. Special Agent Sophie Bennett was young, slender and beautiful but yet had a sharp look about her, like if you said the wrong thing she'd turn into an insulted hippogriff and do you serious damage.

He moved into the room and held his hand out to her. 'I'm Harry Potter.'

She smiled slightly and shook his hand. 'I know. You're well known everywhere Mr. Potter. I'm Special Agent Bennett. Please just call me Bennett.'

Harry nodded tightly, irritated by her comment. He had been looking forward to meeting someone who didn't already know his name. He glanced over at Severus who had recovered himself and had sat down at the conference table frowning. 'This is Severus Snape.'

Bennett nodded at Snape. 'Your reputation precedes you as well Mr. Snape.'

Severus stared back at her, his arms folded tightly across his chest. 'This is your work?' he asked, gesturing to the wall behind her.

'Yes. I find it easier to make sense of a case when I can see it easily laid out for me. A wall is easier than a conference table.' Bennett said, turning back to look at it. 'If I look at it long enough l see connections.'

'And have you seen any connections?' Snape asked coolly.

Sophie Bennett turned again and looked at Snape, holding his glare and matching it with one of her own. 'A few.' She said. 'There's much that needs explaining though.'

'Obviously.'

Bennett crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. 'Why don't we wait until everyone has arrived before we get into this?'

'That's fine.' Harry said quickly, nudging Severus's side with his elbow. He still had a frown on his face.

Harry didn't really understand why Severus was reacting to Bennett like this. She seemed highly intelligent, and well aware of the wizarding world and how it worked. For example she showed no awe or surprise at the fact that the people in the crime scene photos were moving, she had either seen wizard pictures before or she was very good at hiding her surprise. Then there was her use of spellotape. Harry was surprised at Severus. Given his insistence that they bring in a muggle to help with the investigation he had assumed he'd be a bit more welcoming. He supposed old habits die hard, and Severus was never the welcoming type.

They were soon joined by the rest of the team and got down to business. Bennett quickly explained the muggle way of tracking and investigating muggle serial killers in particular the use of profiling the killer to try and understand motive, intent and possible suspects as well as potential victims.

The profile the FBI had come up with strongly suggested that their killer was a half blood, someone who had grown up in an abusive family with a strong hate towards magic.

Harry felt distinctly uncomfortable at this point since that was exactly the environment that he had grown up in, but if Bennett was aware of that she gave no sign of it and no one else commented on it.

Bennett then went on to say that the killer was probably a very gifted wizard, most likely a male, and thus hated his own identity given his violent upbringing.

When she finished it was Blaise Zabini who spoke first. 'While this is all very interesting how exactly does that help us catch them?' He drawled, managing to sound as derisive as possible.

'It helps narrow down your list of suspects.' Bennett said. 'Assuming you have a list that is. And if you don't it helps create one.'

Harry smirked.

'How does this case present in comparison to the cases you work on in the muggle world?' Jones asked. 'How can you be sure this profile as you call it is correct if we're dealing with a wizard and not a muggle?'

Severus cut in – 'Wizards and muggles are both humans Jones. The psychology of one is comparable to the other.'

'That's true.' Bennett said. 'I've worked on many cases in the wizard world. I'm sorry to say that evil exists everywhere, not just among us mere muggles.'

'I didn't mean to insult you' Jones said. 'It just seems to me to be so imprecise. Like you're just making it up as you go along.'

'If all my job entailed was to make something up, I wouldn't have travelled halfway across the world to assist you.' Bennett said patiently. 'I can only assure you that this works. It's tested and proven to be effective. You don't need magic to find answers all the time you know. The brain is a powerful tool on its own.'

'So where do we go from here?' Prewitt asked.

'Our best lead at present are the two notes that the killer has allegedly sent.' Bennett said. 'I understand that there is no magical trace left on these notes and therefore no magical way to determine if they were in fact sent by the same person?'

'That's correct.' Blaise said.

'What about fingerprints?' Harry asked.

'Both notes have been fingerprinted and we're waiting for the results.' Bennett said. 'Don't get your hopes up though. Even if the killer was foolish enough to leave prints on the notes they'd still have to be in the system already for it to do us any good. It's possible that they may have been fingerprinted if they grew up in our society but unlikely.'

'But can we take the finger prints of anyone who is a suspect to match them?' Jones asked.

'Do you have any suspects?' Bennett asked.

'We have a few.' Prewitt said.

Harry seriously doubted that was true. So did Bennett if her raised eyebrow was any indication.

'Like I said. Don't get ahead of yourselves. We may not even find a print.' She said quickly. 'We need to focus on any connections between the killer and his victims. Starting with you Mr Potter.'

Harry.' Harry automatically corrected her.

'Why do you think that he sent you the first note?' Bennett asked.

'I have no idea.' Harry answered honestly. 'It's not like I'm a prominent feature in wizard society any longer. I have no idea why he fixated on me.'

Severus snorted. 'Oh please Potter. If he's a half blood, talented wizard who had a terrible up bringing you don't think he would identify with you? Especially given the knowledge that you are the so called hero of the wizarding world who vanquished the most powerful wizard who ever lived?'

'Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard who ever lived.' Harry said instantly. 'Not Voldemort.'

Prewitt flinched. Severus narrowed his eyes at Harry, who shrugged.

Severus looked away. 'Really Prewitt?' he said scathingly. 'All these years later and you still can't hear the Dark Lord's name?'

'All these years later and you still call him the Dark Lord?' Prewitt snapped back.

There was silence.

Bennett leaned back in her chair. 'Can we get back to it please?' She asked. 'Harry it does indeed seem very likely that the killer has identified with you though in what way I'm still not entirely sure. It could be seen as a challenge, like he's daring you to catch him. Or it could be that he feels a connection with you, as someone who has experienced similar things and might feel the same way he does.'

'I can only hope it's the former.' Harry said making a face. 'I don't want to be a poster boy for the psychotic.'

'Why not, you're the poster boy for everyone else.' Snape muttered.

Harry glared at him.

Snape sighed. 'No matter the motives here it is clear to us all that Harry is a target. I have to suggest that he be either placed under surveillance or moved to a more remote and secure location.'

'We've been down this road Snape. I don't want to leave my home whether I'm a target or not.' Harry said tiredly, running his hands over his face and into his hair.

'Are we actually certain that he is a target?' Blaise asked suddenly. 'I mean sure the first note was sent to him but the second was sent here.'

'After the first note was received I placed extremely strong charms on Potters property in regards to post.' Snape said. 'Nothing would be able to get through now; perhaps that's why it was sent here.'

'There were already strong anti-post charms on my property thanks very much.' Harry said indignantly.

Snape rolled his eyes. 'You had anti junk mail charms Harry. Not exactly strong enough to keep out anything offensive.'

'Have you both considered that it may have been foolish to block the killers' avenue of contact?' Bennett asked.

Snape gave her a glare that would have made Harry cringe, but Bennett just gazed steadily back at him. 'Why would anyone be so foolish as to let a killer have access to their home, in whatever avenue?' Snape asked her.

'If you want to catch them sometimes you have to bait them.' Bennett said. 'Harry you should lift these charms and hope that the killer contacts you again. We can set up proper surveillance both magic and muggle and see what happens. Cases have been broken on far less.'

'No way.' Snape said. 'Far too dangerous.'

'I'm talking to Harry.' Bennett said icily. 'And I'm not suggesting that he stay there if that's what you think. Harry is there somewhere else you can go to wait this out? Somewhere you feel comfortable with?' Her expression changed when she looked at Harry and a small smile played across her lips.

Harry looked quickly to Severus, who was still glaring at Bennett, but their eyes quickly met across the table and Severus gave a slight nod which Harry took as an invitation to stay with him. 'Yeah I have somewhere.'

'Good.' Bennett said standing up. 'Then if we're all in agreement I think this is the best place to start.'

'Just one more question.' Harry asked. 'The second note, was it another copy of David Berkowitz or has he moved onto to someone else?'

Bennett raised her eyebrows at Harry. 'I'm impressed that you recognized the first as David Berkowitz.'

Harry just shrugged. 'It wasn't hard.'

'It wasn't from Berkowitz. It was from the so called Zodiac Killer.' Bennett said shortly.

'And who was that exactly?' Snape asked.

'We don't know. He was never caught.' Bennett answered, pushing a stray piece of hair from her eyes. 'I think our killer made the switch to prove a point. That he won't be caught either. That or he's not capable of originality.'

'I say let's catch this guy as quickly as possible to prove him wrong.' Harry said.

The meeting broke up fairly quickly after that and Harry and Severus headed out the door. Harry looked at Bennett for a few moments before he left; there was something truly admirable about her, perhaps just the ease at which she discussed magic. Whatever it was he liked her a lot.

'Stop staring at her Potter.' Severus growled.

'I just find her interesting is all.' Harry said absently, turning to leave. 'I like her.'

'I don't.' Severus said shortly.

Harry knew better than to press him further, but for a minute he almost thought that Severus sounded jealous.

…

By the time they had arrived back at Harry's place Severus had calmed down somewhat and was busy instructing him on what he needed to pack, and how quickly he wanted to leave.

Eventually Harry held up his hands. 'Stop it. I'm a grown man, I'll take what I believe I need and we'll bloody well leave when I'm ready!'

Snape stood in the door way to his study and folded his arms across his chest. 'Fine but if you forget anything I'm not coming back for it.'

Harry frowned at him. 'I don't get why you think you're place is so safe anyway. It's not different to mine.'

'Mine is more secure, and you know it.' Severus snapped. 'How many times do we have to go through this? No notes were left on my door step. No killer has crossed my threshold.'

Harry couldn't help but smirk a little. 'Crossed your threshold?' he questioned. 'Really?'

Severus just glared at him. 'You always did think that your safely was a big joke. It seems as though that's still the case.'

Harry just shrugged. 'I suppose I'm so used to it that it just feels normal to me. In fact I feel more alive and a part of things since this whole mess began than I have in years.'

'Perhaps you shouldn't have chosen to isolate yourself quite so efficiently then.'

'It started before I isolated myself.'

Severus took hold of Harry's shoulder gently, and turned him to face him. 'Harry I know you don't want to leave here, and I know the thought of returning to my home is repellent to you but surely you must realize that it isn't safe for you to stay? Particularly once I lower the wards?'

Harry was caught by surprise at his tone. He looked into Severus' eyes and felt a flutter in his stomach. 'I don't find the thought of returning to your home repellent. I just don't want to isolate myself again. I want to solve this case, I want to do it quickly, and I'm worried about Ron and Hermione.'

Severus took his hand away. 'Hermione is a very gifted witch Harry. I am sure they are and will be fine.'

'I love the fact that you're choosing to admit that she's gifted now.'

'Now, it's true.' Snape admitted. 'It wasn't then.'

'Bullshit.' Harry said flatly. 'Did you check on them earlier?'

'When exactly was I supposed to do that?'

'I'll do it now.' Harry said absently. He had a rolling feeling in his stomach, like the world was about to spin out of control.

'Harry? Are you okay?' Snape had taken his elbow again.

Harry nodded slightly. 'I'm fine, I just have a feeling. '

'What kind of feeling?' Severus asked quietly.

'I'm just a bit dizzy that's all. It's nothing.'

But it wasn't nothing, and Harry had the most urgent desire to leave right now – that he had to do nothing else but get to Ron and Hermione's.

'Snape you can take the rest of my stuff to your place can't you?' He said shaking off Severus's arm.

Severus widened his eyes in surprise. 'Yes but – '

Harry was gone. He had apparated right from the living room through several layers of wards.

It wasn't possible.

The trickle of fear that had been growing inside Severus ever since that note had been delivered to Harry's front door was growing larger by the second.

…

When Harry arrived at Ron and Hermione's he really had no idea what to expect. He couldn't explain why it was so important to him to get there in such a hurry, he only knew that he had to see them both right then, right that very second.

His first notion that something was wrong was that the wards were down. After that he didn't think much of anything and he pushed open the front door slowly with his left hand, while pulling out his wand with his right.

Peeking around the corner of the door he could see that the place was in shambles. It looked like it had been trashed. There was upended furniture everywhere and what looked like a bowl of soup had been thrown at the opposite wall. Harry pushed open the door completely and stepped into the room, his wand held out in front of him.

The colour drained from his face as he saw Ron crumpled on the floor, blood freely flowing from a wound on his head. Harry rushed to him and quickly checked his pulse; he was still alive but barely.

There was a noise, ever so slight. A shuffling came from the bedroom and he heard what he thought was a whimper. Harry left Ron and bolted to the bedroom, wand outstretched, as a terrible red haze came over him.

He stood in the bedroom doorway in horror as he saw Hermione in what appeared to be a full body bind tied up in the corner of the bedroom. She was propped up against the wall her eyes wide in terror, her form frozen.

It was then that Harry noticed the gun pointed at her head and as he watched the killer cock the gun whatever small vestiges of sanity that remained inside him snapped.

He raised his wand at the killer and without hesitation screamed 'Avada Kadavra!'


	9. It takes an ocean not to break

Harry sat very still.

It was almost as if he thought by sitting very still he could erase the events of the past 24 hours.

Of course to erase them he probably would have to have an understanding of what had actually happened. Things had moved so quickly that he really wasn't sure. He knew that there had been a man with a gun pointed at Hermione's head and that there had been a bang. He knew deep down that there had also been a flash of green light but he was trying very hard not to think about that. He couldn't remember when the auror’s had arrived, or when Snape had arrived.

He couldn't remember when they'd taken his wand.

He supposed that he should have been more disturbed by this but he wasn't. He didn't really want to remember anything anyway. He supposed he should have at least felt some concern over the fact that he appeared to be in a cell. He was fairly sure that he was at the ministry, the room he was in consisted of little more than a hard bed, a sink and a toilet. There weren't bars in place of a door, but otherwise the room was a cell. The door was locked, most likely magically. He doubted that a simple Alohomora would open it.

And so he waited. He concentrated on sitting very still and not thinking. The only thought that kept popping into his mind (other than that green flash which he was ignoring) was a desperate hope that Hermione was alive. He was waiting for Severus to come and tell him she was fine.

He wasn't sure how long he waited. It could have been mere minutes, or perhaps it was days. It was long enough that his back started to hurt where he leaned against the wall, and his legs were cramping from hugging them into his chest.

There was a knock at the door. Harry felt too foolish to say 'come in' when clearly he couldn't open it himself so instead he said nothing. It wasn't at all who he expected.

He expected Kingsley, or Snape (though there was no way Snape would have knocked first) or even Prewitt to come and tell him what had happened. But he didn't expect Special Agent Bennett. He must really have messed up for them to send a muggle.

Bennett quietly opened the door and stepped into the room, closing it gently behind her.

'May I?' She asked quietly gesturing to the bed.

'Sure' Harry answered dully.

Bennet sat on the edge of the hard bed and looked at Harry. 'Are you okay?' She asked.

Harry just looked at her. 'Where's Severus?' He didn't want to hear that Hermione was dead from someone who was practically a stranger to him.

'He isn't coming.' She replied. 'They sent me instead.'

'Why would they send you?'

Bennett sighed and look away from him, her eyes fixing on a spot on the far wall above the sink. 'I don't think they know what to do with you just yet.'

'Is Hermione alive?' Harry found he couldn't wait any longer to know.

'Yes she's fine. Your friends are in St Mungo's. They most likely will be released sometime later tomorrow. There's nothing physically wrong with them, Mr Weasley has a mild concussion and Ms Granger is simply shaken up. She wasn't harmed.'

He just nodded.

'You saved their lives you know.' Bennett said gently.

'I know.' Harry closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that green light. 'What's going to happen to me?'

'I'm not sure. Like I said no one really knows what to do with you. You caught the killer and prevented him from killing again, but you also performed an illegal curse.'

'It's not the first time.' He muttered.

'It's the first time you cast the killing curse though isn't it?' Bennett asked him.

It suddenly occurred to Harry that answering that might not be in his best interest. He remembered this old television show that he had watched on Dudley's TV once when the rest of his family was out and he was supposed to be cleaning the bathrooms. It was a show about police and there was this man they had arrested and they put him in a tiny little room and kindly asked him what had happened. Then they peppered him with question after question until he broke down crying and confessed. Then they sent him to jail. Harry really didn't want to go to Azkaban.

'Harry?' Bennett prodded him.

'Is this an interrogation?' Harry asked bluntly. 'Because I'm not going to break down crying and you won't be able to arrest me.' He added crossly.

Bennett raised her eyebrows. 'Yes it's an interrogation.' She said abruptly. 'Of sorts, but no one wants to arrest you. They don't even know if they should charge you.' She sighed. 'It's a difficult situation.'

'Where is Snape?' Harry asked again. For some reason he didn't want to answer any questions at all without Snape. At the very least he would prevent him incriminating himself.

'He's not coming.' Bennett said again.

'Why?'

'The Minister asked him to. They thought you would be more likely to talk to him. He refused.'

Harry's stomach clenched. 'I don't want to talk.' He didn't even want to think about it much less talk about it.

Bennett stood up. 'I know you don't. But if you want to get out of here you're going to have to.'

As she moved towards the door Harry couldn't help but ask. 'Who was he?'

'Who was who?' Bennett asked her hand on the door.

Harry looked at her. 'Who was the person I killed?'

'We don't know'. Bennett said slowly, then turned and left the room locking the door again behind her.

After she left Harry went back to sitting very still and waiting. He was sure if he were just patient and sat quietly that Severus would come eventually. He wasn't sure why this was so important to him since just recently he couldn't stand the sight of the man. But now, after everything that had happened he wanted nothing more than to see his face. He kept seeing that flash of green light in front of his eyes, and the man crumpling to the floor in front of him. Harry thought that admitting that he'd killed someone would make the vision go away but he was wrong.

He was disappointed when the door opened again and once again it wasn't Severus.

'Come with me.' Kingsley said, holding the door open wide for Harry. 'Quickly'.

Harry jumped up, ignoring how his muscles were cramping from sitting too still and followed Kingsley out of his cell. It turned out they were in the Auror headquarters, and that Harry's cell had been only a few door down from the conference room he had been in yesterday. The contents of the file were still spellotaped to the wall.

'Sit' Kingsley said gesturing to the large conference room table and chairs.

Harry sat. He wasn't sure what else to do. Bennet, Prewitt and Zabini were already seated. No sign of Severus. 'Where's Snape?' He asked.

'At home I presume.' Kingsley replied standing behind the seat across from Harry.

'Why do you care?' Zabini asked.

Harry didn't have an answer. Nor did he feel the need to provide one.

Kingsley remained standing and leaned forward, resting his hands on the conference room table. 'Harry you need to tell us what happened. If you don't we will have no choice but to arrest you. You must corroborate our witness's testimony.'

'Who was your witness? Hermione?' Harry asked.

'Given the stress she was under at the time her opinion is too clouded to be considered impartial. We have another witness who arrived on the scene just in time to see you cast the killing curse. We need you to tell us about the situation that caused you to cast it.'

Harry looked at Kingsley, then down the table to where Bennett was sitting. She gave him a tight nod. He supposed that meant he should say something. He didn't ask who the other witness was. He already knew. 'When I arrived Ron had been knocked out and Hermione was locked in a full body bind.' He said slowly. 'I saw a man holding a gun to her head. I don't know what happened but something inside me snapped and I cast the curse.'

'Harry why did you cast that curse? Why didn't you cast something else? A disarming spell would have been just as effective on a gun as on a wand.' Bennett asked.

'I didn't think of it.' Harry admitted. 'I never even considered casting Expelliarmus.'

'Aren't you known for casting that curse in combat?' Bennett pushed.

'This wasn't combat.' Harry said carefully, again thinking that he would be better off if he kept his mouth closed. 'We're not at war anymore. This is supposed to be peacetime. I was never supposed to be in this situation again.' Harry's voice cracked slightly. 'And you seem to know an awful lot about me Special Agent Bennett.' He narrowed his eyes at her.

'It's my job to know about you Harry.' Bennett said.

Harry just shrugged. 'I'm not supposed to be important anymore.'

'You're always going to be important Harry. Whether you like it or not.' Kingsley said. 'As for being in that situation, I feel somewhat responsible. As do others. We should have foreseen that they were targets and provided your friends with more adequate protection.'

'No shit.' Harry said drily, feeling an anger borne mostly of guilt. He did see them as targets and could have done more for their protection. So for that matter could Severus. He'd scoffed at the idea that they could be attacked, and now he wasn't even here. Why the fuck wasn't he here?

'While this is all true Harry and should be taken into account, you did still cast an unforgivable curse.' Zabini stated smugly. 'Why didn't you disarm him?'

Harry just shrugged. 'I already answered that. I didn't consider a disarming spell. I only knew that this was a situation I hadn't been faced with before; my friend had a gun aimed at her head by a psychotic madman. I didn't want to disarm him; I wanted to stop him killing anyone else.'

'Disarming him would have stopped him from killing anyone else.' Bennett said.

Harry wished fervently that they would just send Bennett home. What impressed him about her yesterday was working against him today. He took a deep breath and looked at her holding her gaze. 'I was also very aware that this man had killed several highly trained and talented witches and wizards, apparently subduing them without the use of magic. How could I be sure that disarming him would even work?' He said calmly.

There was silence.

'I think you have all the information you require Minister.' Bennett said slowly looking from Harry to Kingsley. 'The question is what are you going to do with him now?'

'I'm not going to do anything with him now.' Kingsley said. 'We have an incredible mess to clean up and I don't wish to add to it. Harry you're free to go, but please continue to keep the details of this case to yourself.'

'That's it?' Harry asked in disbelief.

'That's it.' Kingsley said firmly.

'Are you even going to tell me who the killer was?'

'We don't know yet.' Prewitt spoke up. 'There wasn't a magical trace on him and he didn't have any identification on him at all either Muggle or wizard.'

'So you're saying he was a muggle then?' Harry asked in surprise. He just didn't see how a muggle could have put Hermione of all people in a full body bind. It wasn't possible.

'We're saying we don't know Harry.' Bennett said. 'We'll let you know when we do.'

'What did Hermione say happened?' Harry asked. 'How did she end up in a full body bind?'

'She doesn't know.' Kingsley said. 'Her memory was modified.'

'I'm going to go and see her.' Harry said. 'Perhaps she will remember something if I help her.'

'Harry be careful. She's been through an ordeal.' Bennett said.

'She's been through worse.' Harry stated flatly before getting up from the table. 'Can I go back to my home?' he asked. 'I'm no longer a target anymore am I?'

'You can go home.' Kingsley confirmed. 'We will be in touch. But Harry you're not off the hook yet. Do not disappear again, and keep away from the press if you want to remain on the Ministries good side.'

Harry raised his eyebrows in disbelief. 'Seriously?'

Kingsley just looked at him.

'Do I get my wand back?' Harry asked.

'Not yet.' Kingsley said, looking away. 'We will reassess things in due course and then I'm sure it will be returned to you once you've been cleared completely of any wrongdoing. You're free to go.'

…

Harry fully intended to go and visit Ron and Hermione immediately but somehow he ended up finding himself on Snape's doorstep.

He wanted to see him, to hear his explanation of what happened as he had no doubts that Snape was the other witness Kingsley had mentioned. He also just wanted to see his face. He wasn't sure where this desire had come from or when, he just knew he would feel calmer when he saw him. At least he hoped he would, he refused to acknowledge the change in the feelings between them but they were there all the same.

Harry knocked on Snape's door.

There was no answer.

Harry knocked again. 'I know you're in there!' He called. 'Where else would you bloody be!'

'Right behind you perhaps?' Snape answered, making Harry jump. 'Why are you here?' He asked coldly as he unlocked and opened the door with his wand.

'All my things are here.' Harry said, feeling foolish.

'I believe the Ministry gave you permission to go home as the killer has been apprehended?' Snape said with a slight sneer. 'I can send your things to you.'

'Can I please come in?' Harry asked, choosing to ignore Snape's tone.

'Do I have a choice?'

'No.'

'Then by all means do come in.' Snape said snidely, opening the door just enough for Harry to slip though.

Harry slowly moved towards the kitchen and sat down at the table. This attitude was not what he expected, and he found himself feeling hurt and angry. What had he done wrong?

Snape followed him to the table and sat opposite him. 'What do you want?' He snapped.

Harry just looked at him, 'Where were you Severus?'

Whatever it was Snape had expected him to say it wasn't that. He lowered his gaze to the edge of the table and said nothing.

'I needed you.' Harry added.

'No one actually needs me Potter.' Snape said quietly, the venom in his voice gone.

Harry didn't see the point of answering that since he quite clearly did need him. 'I need you to tell me what happened. I waited all day in a jail cell and no one could tell me what happened. I need you to tell me.'

Snape shook his head in disgust. 'Of course you do. That's why you needed me there. So you knew what the Ministry witness had said so you could align your stories and typically worm your way of trouble once again. Save yourself the headache Potter. I told them what you wanted me to. You can go now.'

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' Harry asked. 'I needed you because I just fucking killed someone Snape! I cast the one goddamned curse that I swore I would never cast, that I didn't even cast on Voldemort. VOLDEMORT! And I just cast it on someone whose FUCKING BACK WAS TURNED!' Harry had risen from his chair his fists balled tightly at his sides. 'I need you to tell me why! What happened? Why did I do it? And where the fuck were you today? I needed you! I needed your support!' He asked again breathing heavily.

'I was too late.' Snape said bitterly. 'And I don't know why you did it. I want to know that myself. Why did the golden boy, saviour of the wizarding world cast Avada Kadavra at an unarmed man? You tell me.' He folded his arms.

'I don't know.' Harry said, sinking back into his chair, tears leaking out his eyes and spilling over his cheeks. 'He wasn't unarmed. He may not have had a wand but he wasn't unarmed.'

'Do you think that makes it better?' Snape asked.

Harry shook his head. 'Bennett asked me why I didn't disarm him, and do you know what I told her? I said it was because I knew he had been subduing powerful witches and wizards without magic and that I thought disarming him might not work.'

'You didn't even consider it did you?' Snape asked harshly.

'No I didn't.' Harry said, his anger leaving him giving way to utter self-loathing. 'I lied to her. I didn't even think of it. I just wanted him dead Severus. I wanted to kill him.'

'I know.'

'I just don't know why.' Harry said. 'But I guess it doesn't matter anymore does it?'

'It always matters.' Snape said flatly. 'As you well know, your actions always matter.'

Harry did know and it was eating him up inside, but he still felt unbelievably hurt at Snape's reaction. 'I can't believe you of all people are treating me like this. Is that why you left? You're angry at me for killing him? How many people have you killed? Or hurt? Or tortured?' Harry asked in disbelief, and the hurt and self-loathing he was feeling doubled. 'How many people did you bully? What about Neville? How horrible you were to him? Or Hermione? Or me? How can you speak to me like that after how you treated us all those years.' More tears spilled over his cheeks and he angrily wiped them away.

Snape remained silent.

'How can you judge me so harshly?' Harry asked. 'Answer me!'

When Snape finally looked up at him, there was a hopeless look in his eyes. 'Because it was you Harry.'

'What?' He asked, confused.

"It was you. The boy who lived, the chosen one, the bloody saviour of the wizarding world.'

'You fucking have to stop calling me that.' Harry interrupted him. 'I can't stand it.'

'The point is you were good. And now you've killed someone. You've always been good. How could you of all people do that? Snape said, jumping suddenly to his feet. 'Even when I hated you I still admired you! I could see Voldemort was never going to break you, I was counting on it. You would never be evil as he was.' Snape paused. 'Or as I was. You were my purpose! Keeping you safe, keeping you alive! How is this safe Harry? How could you let a magic hating muggle beat you? How can you be so selfish that I still have to look out for you now even though the war is over! And worse now I have to worry about you being good?'

Harry didn't know what to say. He never imagined he would hear Snape speaking this way, especially to him, and it made him angry. 'I don't know. ' He said, as that was the truth. 'I don't understand why you're acting this way. You would have done the same thing. He was going to kill Hermione. What does it matter that I killed him first? Why are you assuming that I'm not good anymore because I killed a fucking serial killer?'

Snape sat back down slowly and took a deep breath. 'I'm afraid.'

'What are you afraid of?'

Severus took a long time to answer. 'You're right I would have done the same thing. I may have even done worse. If it had been you with a gun pointed at you? I would certainly have done worse. But up until now you yourself wouldn't have. You've been in my company for how long now? A few short days? And look at what you've done. If you stay here, if we become any closer I'm afraid of what it will do to you. That's why you killed him Harry.' Snape's eyes were full of the same shame and self-loathing that Harry himself was feeling.

'Severus I,' Harry stuttered.

'All those years of hating you?' Snape continued. 'Of bullying you and your friends? It was because I couldn't have you get close to me, I'm not good, and you were my hope for the future Harry. I knew it was too late for me. That the things I had done were unforgivable. But you could survive it and move on after; you could have a happy life despite what I and Dumbledore had put you through. I knew you wouldn't die Harry, I knew it. You were my hope.'

Harry didn't answer for some time. It was so much to process. How could he mean so much to someone he barely knew? And who hated him until recently. How could he reconcile this Severus with professor Snape who was so cruel? It baffled him, and he felt angry.

'Severus I can't be your hope.' Harry said flatly. 'All I can be is me.'

Severus didn't reply.

'I have to be enough for you as I am. You can't hold me up as an ideal anymore, or use me as your reason for living. You have to let that go.'

'When people see good they expect good.' Severus said.

'I can't live up to those expectations.' Harry replied. 'I don't want to. Especially with whatever the fuck is happening between us. It's too much.'

Severus frowned. 'It's complicated Harry.'

Harry shook his head angrily. 'It's not complicated. You want to know why? Because he's dead now Severus. The killer is dead. It's done. So you have to let this go.'

Severus looked at him closely. 'Then you also have to let go of the past. The way I treated you and your friends, I can't take it back. And I won't apologise for it. I did what I did and I behaved how I behaved to keep you alive.' he said. 'I can't feel that guilt.'

'Okay.' Harry agreed. 'Lets move on. Now for the love of Merlin please tell me what happened today. I'm as horrified by my actions as you were and I don't really remember what happened. I guess I blocked it out.'

'Then you're lucky. I guess I haven't ruined you completely. I remember every horrible thing I've ever witnessed or done in frightening detail.' Severus said seriously.

'For fucks sake Severus we've been spending time together for only a few days you haven't done anything to me, don't be ridiculous.' Harry snapped.

'Watch your language.' Severus snapped. 'That's the eighth time you've used that word tonight. Try not to be so vulgar.'

'Under the circumstances I'll be whatever I like. Now talk to me please.' Harry said, his tone softening slightly.

'I don't know entirely what happened. I'm not sure what to tell you that hasn't been said already. I arrived just in time to see you cast the curse. The killer had incapacitated Ron and cast the body bind on Hermione and had a gun pointed at her. You cast the curse and he went down.'

'What happened next? I don't remember.'

'You just stood there. You were just standing there looking at the body, and so I went to you and took your wand away. And you just let me. How could you let me take your wand?'

Harry shrugged. 'I don't know, I trust you I guess?'

'Then you just sat down in a corner and put your head in your hands and waited for the auror’s to arrive.' Severus said.

'What happened to Hermione and Ron?' Harry said, appalled that he apparently didn't even check on his friends wellbeing.

'I called the healers and I checked them. I removed the body bind on Hermione and discovered her memory had been modified. She didn't remember anything other than she was frightened. She didn't even realise she had been in a full body bind. Ron was unconscious but breathing and the healers took him straight to St Mungo’s. Hermione went with him.'

'Is he okay? Did I talk to them at least?' Harry asked.

'The last I heard he was doing well. You didn't really have time to talk. The auror’s arrived just before the healers, and secured the area. They didn't really let Hermione near you. She asked what was wrong with you though. I said you had saved her life but were probably in shock.' Severus said.

Harry nodded. 'Sounds like I was. Severus thank you. Thanks for looking after them.' He said softly reaching out and touching the back of Severus' hand. 'I appreciate it.'

'Don't thank me Harry. If I had done as you asked and checked on them earlier this may have been avoided altogether.' Severus looked down but didn't pull his hand away. 'You shouldn't thank me. Hermione asked me to look after you before she went. And I didn't.'

'No you didn't.' Harry said seriously. 'But you are now.'

For a few moments they just sat there in silence. Harry could feel the warmth of Severus' hand under his, the roughness of his skin. His heart was beating faster.

'I'm so tired.' Severus said suddenly.

'You too?' Harry asked. 'I don't really remember the last time I wasn't.'

'When the war ended I thought we'd be left alone. I thought we could rest. Why couldn't they leave us alone? Haven't we done enough for them?

Harry gently stroked his hand. 'I've asked myself that question many times, and I don't have the answer. But I know now that I'm glad they didn't leave us alone. I'm not sure alone was what I needed.'

'You wouldn't have had to suffer through today if they had.' Severus said, lifting his fingers slightly to curl around Harry's.

'I wouldn't be sitting here with you either would I?' Harry said softly.

'No I daresay you wouldn't be. But at least you'd be safe.' Severus said.

'You don't know that.' Harry said. 'Severus can I please stay?' he asked, suddenly terrified of the answer.

'Harry, whatever this is I'm not ready for it.' Severus said, pulling his hand away.

'I just don't want to be alone anymore. I feel safe here, and I'm tired. I don't know what's happening here but right now I don't care. I know I feel safe with you. That's all that matters.' Harry said seriously.

Severus stood up from the table and looked at him. 'All your things are still in the guest room Harry. Of course you can stay. I'll see you in the morning.'

Harry sighed in relief. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Severus said, and then lifted his hand and gently touched Harry's hair before turning away.


	10. Hate is safer than love

When Harry woke up the next day the first thing he thought of was a flash of green light and the crumpled form of the dead man at his feet. He wondered if it would always be the first thing he remembered each morning. Then he thought of Severus and the surprising conversation they had the night before. He didn't know what to make of it.

Prior to witnessing Severus' memories Harry would never have considered that the man would think much about him once the war was over and he was no longer his professor. Even after knowing how Severus had felt about his mother and the sacrifices he made to keep him safe, he never thought that he would still look at that, at him as his purpose in life five years later. But then again when someone has a singular purpose for living for sixteen years it's probably impossible to let go of it when it's not needed anymore.

Harry felt conflicted about this as a part of him felt so special and honoured to be someone's purpose, their focus in life. But when he thought about everything he knew Severus had suffered through (and he supposed a lot more he didn't know) he couldn't help but wish they had never met. Whatever Severus had done in this life he had more than deserved forgiveness. It bothered him that he still seemed to have such a low opinion of himself, and he wanted to change that. He wanted him to feel special and to be someone's singular purpose in return. He just didn't really know to go about that, and he didn't think Severus would like the idea anyway.

The truth was that Harry was terrified at the thought that he represented hope for another person, let alone someone as damaged as Severus. Hope is such a tenuous thing, fragile and easily squashed. He didn't seem to have much hope himself these days anyway so how could he be that for someone else? And hope for what exactly? A better life? How could he give that to anyone when his own life was in shambles?

He was fully aware that the life he had been living the last five years was woeful. He had been terribly lonely without even realising it, but he knew he just wasn't up to the fully functioning and fairly normal life that Ron and Hermione lived. He needed something between that. He needed someone who would support him and who also craved that kind of a life, a quiet, safe life.

Someone like Severus.

He had no idea what was happening between them, or even when his feelings had changed and grown (he didn't even know what they had grown into), and he couldn't even feel sure that Severus felt the same way. He had said last night that he needed time, that he wasn't ready but what if they weren't feeling the same thing? What if to him this was just a growing friendship?

He cursed his emotional ineptitude as he realised as far as relationships went he might as well be a teenager. He hadn't had a real relationship since he broke up with Ginny just after the war. He strongly suspected that Severus had never had a real relationship at all. No wonder he wasn't ready, he probably wasn't even attracted to him and it was just in his mind. But then he remembered the feel of his hand in his and the feel of Severus' fingers through his hair, and he knew he wasn't alone in this. He just had to give them both time. Besides the man made him completely crazy, burning with anger one second and desire the next, not exactly a good foundation for a relationship.

Harry sighed. Thinking about Severus made him want to see him, and he literally rolled out of bed landing on the floor with a large thump.

'Ow' he exclaimed in shock and he rubbed his ass gingerly. 'Serves me right' he grumbled.

'Potter are you trying to injure my floor?' Severus called from what Harry assumed was the kitchen.

'Yes.' He muttered pulling himself to his feet, his heart sinking slightly at the fact that Severus had gone back to using his last name. Looks like the candour of last night's conversation was over. He pulled a t-shirt over his head and wandered into the kitchen. He gave Severus a nod of acknowledgement and plonked himself grumpily down into a kitchen chair.

Severus gave him an amused look and placed a large cup of coffee in front of him. 'Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?' he teased.

'I want my wand.' Harry stated angrily.

'They took your wand?' Severus asked in surprise. 'I thought you were cleared.'

'Why would you think I was cleared?' Harry asked in surprise, slowly sipping his coffee.

'You're here aren't you?'

'I was directed to not disappear again.' Harry grunted. 'Not that I successfully disappeared in the first place cause they still found me didn't they?'

Severus wisely didn't answer. 'Do you have to stand trial?'

'No I don't think so. I think honestly they more want to just teach me that I'm not outside the law you know?' Harry frowned. 'Like I don't know that already.'

'Could have fooled me. I spent most of your time at Hogwarts trying to teach you that and it didn't seem to stick.' Severus snorted.

'Really?' Harry glared at him. 'Severus really? Wasn't it you who asked to let go of the past only last night?'

'I meant you not me.'

'Whatever. I don't want to talk about it.' Harry said instantly. He just wanted to forget it. Forget what he did, forget their conversation the night before, forget everything.

'Nor do I particularly.' Severus agreed. 'Aren't you concerned for your safety without your wand?'

'No not really, it's just dead annoying.' Harry said. He supposed he should have felt more concerned about the absence of his wand but the truth was he had mastered wandless magic some time ago and didn't really need it anymore anyway. That wasn't something he intended to confess to the Ministry or anyone else though. Wandless magic was rare, and taxing on the user which was why most wizards never bothered learning it, but after the war when he lost his wand Harry was determined to never again rely on a piece of wood for his protection.

'You don't need it anymore do you?' Severus asked casually.

'Do you need yours?' Harry asked, even though he already knew the answer, after all you don't use a wand to fly.

'You already know the answer to that Potter.' Snape said.

Harry couldn't help smiling to himself. 'Mmmm.' was all he said.

'I may not need mine but that doesn't mean I would willingly give it up either. It's far less tiring to use one.' Severus continued. 'I'm surprised you didn't kick up more of a stink.'

'Who says I didn't?' Harry asked.

Severus raised his eyebrows. 'You'd probably have it if you had. Kingsley has never been good at denying you anything.'

'You over estimate my ability to get my own way.'

'I don't think I do.' Severus said seriously.

Harry sighed. 'Can we please drop it? I don't have my wand, as they don't see me as being under threat anymore and I'll get it back in "due course" whatever that means.'

'It means they'll return it when they think you're no longer a "danger to yourself or others".' Severus quoted.

'Is that what they said to you when they took yours away?' Harry asked.

'I thought we were dropping it?' Severus asked.

'Just answer me.' Harry said, not in the mood for bullshit.

'Well I was on trial for Dumbledore's murder so it was a little more serious.' Severus reminded him. 'I doubt they actually think you're a danger. You're their little hero; they're probably just trying to teach you a lesson.'

'I think killing someone was lesson enough don't you?' Harry said angrily.

Severus didn't say anything at first; he just looked closely at Harry. 'Mmmm.' He said softly. 'That will usually do it.'

Harry suddenly realised that he had no idea how many people Severus had actually killed. He only knew of the one, and that was without a doubt not a murder. 'Severus…' he began.

'Not now.' Severus interrupted. 'Ask me again sometime and maybe I'll answer.' He said, looking away. 'Are you intending to visit your friends this morning?'

Harry wisely went with the subject change. 'Yeah I want to, will you come?'

'No I don't think so.' Severus took a slow sip of his coffee and stared out the window. 'What are your plans after that?'

'I suppose I should go home.' Harry said flatly, disappointed in how little interest Severus seemed to have in him.

'If you wish.' Severus said softly.

'Is that what you wish?' Harry asked uncertain, cursing the waver in his voice that made him sound like a fifteen year old girl.

Severus turned back to look at him. 'What do you want me to say Potter?' He asked tiredly. 'Do you want me to beg you to stay? You should know better.'

'Fine I won't stay.' Harry said angrily. 'But I'm coming back here every day to talk to you. We have a lot to talk about, and I won't let you disappear into nothing again so no one can find you.'

'You're wasting your time.' Severus said turning away again.

'I don't think I am.' Harry said softly. 'Besides it's my time to waste.'

…

By the time Harry arrived at St Mungo's it was nearly 11am. He had dragged his feet somewhat leaving Severus' place partly because he was hoping they would have a more in depth conversation (which hadn't happened) and partly because a small part of him was avoiding Ron and Hermione. He didn't have a clue what to say to them. What if they never looked at him the same way? He tried to push those thoughts away and just trust in his friends, like they would do for him but it was proving to be difficult. He shook his head as if to rid himself of those negative thoughts and headed towards the hospital front counter.

'Excuse me; I'm looking for Ron Weasley's room?' He asked the receptionist.

'Room 75 Spell damage, level 4.' She replied in a bored tone, not even looking up from her copy of Witch Weekly.

Harry thought that was probably for the best as he really couldn't deal with any "oh my goodness you're Harry Potter" nonsense at present, and there were already several people in the waiting room staring at him and whispering.

He sighed and headed quickly towards the lift at the end of the corridor.

The fourth floor was much as it had always been. Most of the ward was full of patients who had attempted spells too powerful for them to cast that had backfired on them or gone awry. He quickly walked past rooms 1 to 46 until he reached room 47, he then paused for a few seconds and took a deep breath before he knocked and then entered.

'Harry!' Hermione's eyes lifted as she saw him and she jumped up and gave him a quick hug. 'I'm so glad to see you!'

'Took you long enough.' Ron grumbled, looking up at him from the bed. His head was covered in a thick bandage. 'I only nearly died and you wait a full 24 hours to come and check on me?'

Harry grinned at them both. 'That bandage is a bit of overkill isn't it mate?' He said. 'You only bumped your head after all.' It was amazing how he felt so much better for seeing them both alive and reasonably well (bandages aside).

'I'll have you know there's an egg the size of a hippogriff under here!' Ron protested feebly.

'Yes honey I know there is.' Hermione said patting Ron gently on the shoulder.

'There there Ron.' Harry added.

'You don't have to be so condescending.' Ron said. 'I'm convalescing here!'

Harry laughed. 'In all honesty I'm just relieved to see you both alive.'

Hermione shook her head. 'I still can't believe it happened Harry. Thanks to you we would probably both be dead. Or at least I would be.'

Ron shuddered. 'I can't believe I let that monster inside our house.'

'It's not your fault Ron.' Harry said immediately.

Ron just shrugged.

'How did he get inside the house though?' Harry asked. 'Surely your house is at least somewhat protected?'

'Of course it was protected Harry what do you take me for?' Hermione said huffily.

Ron nodded. 'It's warded. Or it was. The auror’s told us the wards were down when they arrived. He must have taken them down'

'And neither of you remember anything?' Harry asked.

'Not a thing. I don't even remember being knocked out.' Ron said. 'It's a bloody awful feeling to be attacked in your own home and not even remember it. The only relief comes from knowing the asshole’s dead!'

Harry couldn't help but flinch as he once again saw the flash of green light in front of his eyes.

'Sorry mate, but you know you did the right thing yeah?' Ron said, noticing Harry's reaction. 'We wouldn't be here if you hadn't done it.'

'Yeah I know. Doesn't mean I don't feel sick about it though.' Harry said rubbing a hand over his face tiredly. 'I've never killed anyone before. Also it doesn't help that they can't tell me who he was either'.

'They're saying he was a muggle.' Hermione said. 'But that just doesn't make any sense to me. A muggle couldn't have done that. I was in a full body bind with my memory modified. That doesn't make any sense.'

'If he was a muggle then he sure as hell had a wizard working for him or with him.' Harry said darkly, then his eyes widened. 'Jesus what if he had just been placed under the Imperius curse? I didn't even think about that! What the hell have I done?' Harry sat down abruptly in a chair quickly conjured by Hermione.

'Harry calm down.' Hermione said gently. 'There's nothing you can do now. Besides they checked him for magical traces and found none. Whatever he was or wasn't he still had a gun pointed at my head and he very much intended to pull the trigger.'

'How do you know that Hermione? I thought you couldn't remember.' Harry whispered.

'I remember how I feel, and I felt terrified. I was afraid for my life and I was definitely afraid of him. He wasn't blameless in this Harry. He wanted to hurt me.' Hermione said. 'I promise you.'

'Yeah well I wish I knew for sure.' Harry said. 'I really wished I had waited to find out instead of just killing him. I just couldn't help it, I saw red and before I knew it, it was done.'

'Yeah well if he's responsible for all these killings then it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.' Ron said viciously.

'I'm the one that has to live with though aren't I?' Harry said.

'Harry I'm so sorry.' Hermione said. 'I should have been more prepared. Prevented it from happening. I shouldn't have let myself be so vulnerable.'

'It's not your fault.' Harry said. 'I suspected this. I asked Severus to look out for you because I knew you could be in danger. I mean what better way to get to me than by hurting my best friends? Especially when he seemed to be targeting gifted magic users. I should have checked on you myself. I'm so sorry, both of you.'

Ron pulled himself up into a sitting position 'So do you think we were just bait? Just to get you there so he could kill you too?' He asked Harry. 'Looks like he failed spectacularly then didn't he?'

Harry shook his head. 'I don't know.'

'I don't want to think about that Ron.' Hermione said. 'Even though you're probably right. And you should lie back down.' She added, glaring at him.

'Why the fuck is it always about me?' Harry spat suddenly. 'I'm fucking sick of it. I've never asked for any of this attention and I don't want it! Why can't I just be left alone? Why have I been the target of fucking psychopaths my whole fucking life?!'

'Harry it sucks, but that's life and you can't go back to being a recluse to avoid it because clearly that didn't work.' Ron said. 'The psychopath found you anyway. Besides it's over now. He's dead, you stopped him in time.'

'Is it over though?' Hermione queried. 'I mean this does this feel over to you?'

'He's dead Hermione. That's about as over as it gets.' Ron snapped.

'Hermione's right.' Harry said. 'There are too many loose ends, too many things that don't make sense. At the very least we have to find out who he was and who helped him to cast that curse. Not to mention how he managed to kill all the others.'

'What did Kingsley say about it when you spoke to him?' Ron asked.

'Before or after he took my wand?' Harry asked raising his eyebrows slightly. 'We're not exactly chummy at the moment. I'm sure they have their theories but as of yesterday I'd say I'm officially off the case.'

'What a fucking bastard.' Ron swore.

'Ron! He's just doing his job.' Hermione said. 'Harry did kill someone. I'm sure that there are procedures and protocol that need to be followed.' She glanced over at Harry. 'Sorry' she added.

Harry just shrugged. 'Whatever.'

'Well I still think he's a bastard.' Ron muttered. 'He could have at least given you your wand back.'

'Harry do you want to stay with us for a while?' Hermione asked. 'I worry about you in that house all alone. Unless you're still staying with Snape?' she added.

Harry shook his head. 'No I'm not still staying with him. Well I did last night but I'm not anymore. I'll be fine on my own though, wand or no wand.'

'If you're sure?' Hermione asked.

'I'm sure. I'm tired of hiding, and I'm not afraid.' Harry said.

'What does Snape think about this?' Hermione asked. 'I'm sure he must have an opinion.'

'I honestly don't know what he thinks.' Harry said softly. 'He wasn't making a whole lot of sense when we spoke about it last night.'

'He's angry at you huh?' Ron said.

'Why would you say that?' Harry asked. 'I mean yeah I think he is, well I know he is but why would you think that?'

'Well it's pretty obvious. I mean he spent his whole life trying to keep you safe and then after the war that's what you were supposed to be and then BAM here you are in danger again. He's probably cursing your existence right now.' Ron said.

'Well he's had enough practice at that.' Harry said angrily. 'Though I really hope he isn't cursing my existence this time. I think he's angry that I'm in danger again yes, but I think he's angrier that I actually killed someone.'

'I guess that makes sense.' Hermione said slowly. 'I don't think it was just you're life that he's been protecting all these years. I think it's been your spirit.'

'Do you ever think that it would have been better for everyone if I had just died at the end of the war along with Voldemort?' Harry asked sadly.

'I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.' Ron growled.

'Do you mean would it have been easier for Snape?' Hermione asked tactfully ignoring Ron. 'I don't think so Harry. I think if you had actually died it would have killed him too. I don't think he would have recovered.'

'You think?' Harry asked sarcastically. 'If I had died then I couldn't disappoint him now.'

'You're not disappointing him.' Hermione said. 'I think he's as confused as you are.'

'I'm not confused.' Harry said quickly.

'Right.' Hermione replied drily.

'Why do you care so much anyway mate?' Ron asked.

'I don't know why I care so much now when I hated him so much before.' Harry said. 'Maybe it would have been easier for me if I'd died! I feel like I've been dead these past five years anyway.'

'You've been hiding yes, but that doesn't mean you're dead Harry.' Hermione said severely. 'Stop wallowing in self-pity and go and talk to Snape if you're so worried what he thinks. The two of you are long overdue for a candid conversation.'

'No shit.' Harry said. 'It's getting him to talk that's the problem. I've tried talking to him and getting him to open up to me but he shuts me down. I don't even know where to start.'

'Have you tried just telling him how you feel?' Hermione asked.

'I'm not entirely sure how I feel.' Harry confessed.

'Hence the confusion, why don't you just start there?' Hermione suggested. 'After all this is very sudden and very new for you both. You have years of issues to sort through before you can untangle how you actually both feel about each other, be it love or something else.'

'As in mutual respect?' Harry asked raising his eyebrows.

'Perhaps. If that's how you both feel.’ Hermione said. 'I don't think so though.'

'I think mutual respect might be the most I can ever hope for from him' Harry sighed. 'Whether he feels more or not I don't know that he can actually break down the wall of hate he has up. He's been hiding behind it for so long.'

'After all he's been through I'd say it's his strongest defence mechanism.' Hermione said sadly. 'It's worth breaking through it though. I've seen how you've both been looking at each other these past few days. I'd say he feels more than mutual respect, even more than friendship, though of course you'll have to actually talk to him to find that out.'

Ron squirmed slightly. 'I'll thank you to keep that conversation to yourself though. I'm getting decidedly uncomfortable over here.

'Noted.' Harry said drily. 'I'll try and keep the details of my love life from your precious ears.'

'AHHHHH' Ron said covering his ears. 'I can't unhear that!'

'Ron there's a bandage over your ears. I don't think covering them will help much.' Harry laughed.

Hermione grinned. 'Go and talk to him. And then come back and tell me what he said!'

'LALALALALALALALALA' Ron sang.

Harry laughed. He felt like he was back at Hogwarts overhearing Lavender and Parvatti discussing who the "dreamiest boy in the world" was.

One thing for sure, he was NOT telling Hermione anything.


	11. A straight line back to you

Harry didn't leave St Mungo's until well after dark, when Ron was starting to yawn and when the nurses had started to come into the room and glare at him. He hugged them both goodbye and left with the promise of returning soon. In all likelihood Ron would be going home in the next few days and Harry promised to come and visit as soon as they were released. Hermione intended to cast the Fidelius charm on their house as soon as possible, and Harry agreed to be their secret keeper.

He supposed he should probably cast the Fidelius charm on his own home, but he didn't really want to go through the bother. Perhaps he would talk to Severus about it. Harry was curious to know the many layers of protection that Severus had cast upon his own home and the property it rested on. It certainly wasn't usual to having to apparate to a set of coordinates and then just to follow your nose (or your patrons in his case).

He supposed he should probably take Hermione's advice and go and talk to Severus about everything, but he didn't want to push him too hard or too quickly and he honestly didn't fully know what his own feelings for the man were. Instead he decided to walk through the streets of London, revelling in the fact that he could do so without everyone staring at him. Eventually he grew tired and apparated to his home, pausing for a few seconds on the doorstep before entering.

He realised he felt awkward and uncertain about entering his own house.

He hated that his house had been compromised, that someone had violated his personal space. It just felt different now. The rooms weren't as comforting, weren't as relaxing. Or maybe it was just that for the first time they felt large and empty. Sorrell pressed against his leg meowing pitifully for her dinner, and Harry picked her up, kissing her head gently as he moved into the kitchen and busied himself making her some dinner. She had fared well in his absence, her automatic feeder dispensing food every day but she clearly had missed Harry's company. Harry put her down next to her food bowl but she still pressed against his leg in comfort every few seconds.

He didn't feel much like eating, but forced himself to make a sandwich. He had very little food left in his house, he supposed he'd have to order more groceries tomorrow, or he could even go to the store which was something he hadn't done in years.

He felt restless, and disconcerted like he was waiting for something to happen. He also had a strong sense of foreboding. Like there was something bad just around the corner. He didn't know what to make of their conversation that day, perhaps the killer wasn't dead and this wasn't over? What if it was just a random attack and this incident wasn't connected to the murders at all? He shook his head in frustration and tried not to over think things.

He went to bed early, snuggling down and covering his head with his quilt. He would just deal with it all in the morning.

Unsurprisingly in the morning he didn't feel any better, and he knew that the only way he would feel better was to go and see Severus. He felt uncomfortable about just showing up unannounced so he quickly cast a patronus and sent it to Severus with a short message asking for a visit. He didn't have to wait long for the reply. He was waiting impatiently in the front yard ready to go when the silver doe appeared before him.

'Potter you don't have to send a bloody patronus every time you want to come and visit that's idiotic, Just show up next time and while we're on the subject it's about bloody time you changed your patronus to something less offensive!' Severus's voice snapped from the doe's mouth.

Harry smiled to himself and shook his head slightly. The man was unbelievable. He re did his wards, adding an extra layer of protection before apparating to Severus' coordinates. As he made his way carefully towards his house he thought to himself that there was no way he was changing his patronus. Besides he kind of liked how it matched Severus' perfectly.

Severus was waiting on his door step, his robes typically billowing out behind him. There was a slight scowl on his face as if he was entirely put out that Harry hadn't arrived sooner.

'I'm not changing my patronus.' Harry said in an equally snappy tone to which Severus had delivered his message. 'You should know better than to ask.'

Severus smirked and held the door open for Harry to enter. 'Perhaps if you simply showed up instead of sending me a message we could have avoided this conversation altogether.' He said. 'As it is I'd thank you to not send me any future messages by that method unless it's an absolute emergency.'

'I'll keep that in mind.' Harry said, entering and wiping his snow covered feet on the mat.

'Coffee?' Severus asked, as he headed towards the kitchen leaving Harry to follow him.

'Sure.'

It was comforting to sit with Severus in his kitchen, the two of them sipping their coffee in companionable silence. Harry thought it was certainly something he could get used to.

'I believe you mentioned something yesterday about talking?' Severus said after a few moments.

'I believe I did.' Harry replied casually.

'Did you have a particular topic in mind?' Severus asked in amusement.

'I don't know.' Harry said. 'I guess I just want to get to know you more.'

'I'm not sure there's much to know. I haven't had much of a life Potter.'

Harry sighed. 'Why do you still call me Potter?'

'I don't know why. I didn't realise it was an issue.' Severus said mildly.

'I guess when I hear you say Potter I'm instantly transported back to potions class.' Harry shrugged.

'Well at least I don't say it with the same amount of venom as I did then.'

'You often say it with the same amount of sarcasm though.' Harry stated.

'Harry if it bothers you so much I'll attempt to refrain from doing it.' Severus said seriously.

'No its fine I guess. It seems a very trivial thing to be upset over doesn't it?' Harry asked.

'Perhaps, however I've often found that it's the trivial things that upset us the most.' Severus said.

'Hermione doesn't think the man I killed was the same man who committed all the murders.' Harry said suddenly changing the subject.

'Well it certainly doesn't seem to add up does it? At the very least an accomplice was involved.' Severus agreed.

'A wizard had to cast those charms; neither a muggle nor a squib could have managed it.' Harry said.

'Well under certain circumstances squibs have been able to cast magic, though usually not up to standard.' Severus said.

Harry raised his eyebrows at Snape. 'A full body bind on Hermione? Really?'

'It's extremely unlikely yes.' Severus nodded.

'It's impossible.' Harry said.

'So what are you going to do about it then?' Severus asked.

'I can't do anything about it. I'm pretty much banned from the case.'

'When has that ever stopped you?' Severus asked, the corners of his mouth turned up in a slight smile.

Harry smiled. 'Well yes but look where that kind of behaviour got me in the past?'

Severus frowned at him. 'Precisely my point. You have a history of sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong and getting your own way. Therefore if you want to work on the case, work on it. I doubt anyone will stop you.'

'So much for leaving the past behind.' Harry muttered.

'It would appear that it's not actually that easy to do.'

'So you want talk about it then?' Harry said, resigned to the fact that unless they cleared the air somewhat it was unlikely they could successfully move forward in any kind of relationship.

'Talk about what?' Severus asked. 'The case?'

'No the past.' Harry said. 'Our past. To clear the air so to speak.'

Severus remained silent.

'Severus?' Harry asked tentatively.

'Haven't we been here before Harry? Quid Pro Quo?' Severus sighed. 'It didn't go so well last time. I believe you cut the conversation short because you didn't like what I said.'

'Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear it then.' Harry said seriously. 'Maybe I am now.'

'What if you aren't?'

Harry sighed. 'Then I never will be Severus. Say whatever you want to say. Ask whatever you want to ask about our time together at Hogwarts, or during the war. I will do the same. But this is it Severus. This is the only time we are going to discuss this.'

'I find that highly unlikely.' was the reply.

Harry sighed. 'I just want to put this behind us.'

'Do you really think that's possible?' Severus asked. 'You don't think that too much bitterness and hate had passed between us to recover? That there's too much water under the bridge?'

'I don't think so. I don't feel hate towards you anymore. I just want to understand.' Harry said.

'Then ask your first question.' Severus said. 'But like you told me the first time we played this game, you most likely won't like my answers.'

Harry just looked at him thoughtfully. 'I told you last time that I understood why you treated me so horribly, but I guess I want to know why you never gave me a chance.' He said slowly. 'You assumed right from my first class with you that I was exactly like my father, but yet you had sworn to protect me? I don't understand why you didn't at least wait to see if I was like him.'

Severus sighed, and then stood up from his chair slowly taking his coffee with him. 'If we are going to get into this I suggest we move to the sitting room where it is infinitely more comfortable.' He said. 'I suspect this will take a while.'

Harry remained silent but picked up his own cup of coffee and followed Severus to the sitting room. There was a fire burning in the hearth and the chairs were indeed much more comfortable. In truth Harry would have been happy to talk anywhere, just as long as they were actually talking. This conversation was long overdue.

Severus settled himself easily into the chair closest to the fire, adjusting his robes so that they flowed easily around him. He placed his coffee down on the table in front of him and looked at Harry. 'Imagine that you are now teaching at Hogwarts. Imagine that Draco Malfoy married say Hermione for example. Now imagine that they are both dead, and it was your fault, and that Hermione died hating you. Now you have in your class a small boy who looks exactly like Draco. He is the hero of the wizarding world and everyone worships him, strangers stop him and want to shake his hand and he is in your class at your mercy.' He said softly. 'What would you do?'

'I can see where you're coming from Severus, despite the fact that Hermione has never been anything but my closest friend, the analogy is close enough.' Harry said thoughtfully. 'I would like to think I wouldn't bully the kid before he'd spoken a single word though.

'Yes I am sure that you yourself would probably treat the boy fairly.' Severus said softly. 'I'm only trying to help you understand. I never said it was fair. I did not have your innate goodness nor did I have the support structure you currently have. All I had was 11 years of regret and self-loathing.'

'I'm trying to understand.' Harry said. 'It's not easy to accept though knowing what I know about you now.'

'Now imagine that the boy looks up at you and has the exact same eyes as his mother.' Severus said.

'That would surely make it easier to like him rather than dislike him.' Harry said, still uncertain of where Severus was going with this.

'That's the point Harry. In all those years between the two wars I never for one second believed that Voldemort was dead. Especially in your first year when Quirrell was acting so strangely. I looked at you and felt emotions I hadn't felt for many years. You looked so much like your father but you had your mother's eyes, you had her soul. It was my job to protect you. That vow was all I had left to hold onto and the only way I could do that and stay sane was to hate you. I couldn't for one second allow myself to have any positive feelings towards you for fear that Voldemort would discover them and use them against us both. Can you understand that?'

Harry nodded. 'Yes I can. That makes sense to me, but you also treated my friends terribly. You bullied us all; you know you did and don't just say you hate all students and treat them all terribly again. That's a cop out and you're better than that. You must have had a better reason.'

Severus shrugged slightly 'Other than my carefully nurtured anger towards all Gryffindor students? I wish I could say that I regret it but I don't. My job was to protect you but you didn't make it easy for me, and neither did your friends. And rather than be punished for your repeated stupidity you were rewarded time and time again.'

'Okay in relation to Ron and Hermione yes I can understand that. It must have been so frustrating for you. But what about Neville Severus? What did he do to deserve that kind of treatment?' Harry asked.

Severus sighed. 'The prophecy could have referred to either of you. When I saw how useless he was…'

Harry cut him off. 'He wasn't useless Snape!' he snapped.

Severus glared at him. 'If you can't control yourself we aren't going to continue this conversation. He was useless, you know he was. When Neville arrived at Hogwarts he had barely any magic ability whatsoever and it angered me. It angered me because I realised that there was no way the prophecy could ever have been about him, it was obviously about you Harry. Despite how useless you were at potions you had magical ability coming out of your very pores. I blamed Neville for his ineptitude yes because my life would have been entirely different if the prophecy had been about him.'

'Do you think your life would have been better?' Harry asked incredulously. 'As a true servant of Voldemort's?'

'I didn't say better you idiot.' Severus snapped. 'I said different. Your mother would have been alive, and I would most likely be dead. I know I could not have served him faithfully for long. I would have turned away from him eventually I'm sure, much like Regulus did. And then I have no doubt that I too would have been executed.'

'That's probably true.' Harry agreed. 'For that reason alone I would gladly go through all of this again.' He said. 'I don't know what I would have done if you had died.'

Severus was silent.

After a moment Harry spoke again. 'You've more than answered my first question Severus.' He said softly. 'Feel free to ask your own.'

'Why did you look in the pensieve?' Severus asked.

Harry looked away. He didn't want to answer that question, why did he have to bring that particular memory up first?

'In your fifth year, during your occulmency classes, I know you know what I'm referring to.' Severus continued when Harry remained silent. 'I want to know why you did it. Was it so you had a chance to get even? Was it your intent to use those memories against me?'

Harry sighed. 'I don't know why I did it.' He said. 'I suppose I was curious about you. I wanted to know what was so terrible that you wanted it kept from me, and I was surprised you felt the need to remove anything at all. I didn't think you thought it likely that I would ever succeed in breaking into your mind anyway so why bother removing memories? I was curious.'

Severus looked away from Harry and stared into the fire. 'You know we've spoken about my behaviour towards you but we didn't touch on your behaviour towards me. A Professor gets used to being ridiculed by his students, behind his back or even within earshot. I always dealt harshly with those I caught making fun of my nose, or hair or how awful I was in class. I suppose that you lot couldn't imagine that no matter the person, or no matter his age and disposition those remarks would still hurt.'

'No I don't suppose we did.' Harry said thoughtfully. 'But we were children Severus. It's not an excuse for bad behaviour but it's a circle. You bullied us and we ridiculed you and we were all wrong for doing it.'

Severus nodded. 'I know. And by that stage I had grown so used to being ridiculed that I could easily tell myself that it didn't matter.' he said, and then paused for a moment before looking into Harry's eyes. 'I would have given much for that memory to remain hidden. It was not something you ever should have seen, and if you hadn't been such an arrogant little fool who thought he knew better then you wouldn't have. That was a piece of myself that had been long buried Potter. It should have remained that way.'

Harry sighed. 'It wasn't buried at all though was it? Otherwise you wouldn't have dug it up and removed it from your head to protect it. I understand your anger Severus, but much like you I don't regret it for a second.'

'Because it gave you power over me?' Severus asked through clenched teeth raising his voice slightly. 'I always wondered when you would use that memory to taunt me. Just how many of your friends did you tell? I imagine you laughed for a long time.'

Harry could see the pain in Severus' eyes as he spoke. 'I wasn't the boy you thought I was Severus.' He said gently. 'I didn't tell anyone. It made me sick to my stomach actually; I nearly vomited every time I thought of it. The only person I told about it was Lupin. I questioned him, wanting to try and understand why my father had behaved the way he did. Lupin wasn't much help though, he simply said that you also cursed my father at every opportunity you had. I knew better though, I'd seen it.'

'Surely you must have enjoyed watching me be bullied like that after all the similar memories of yours I had seen?' Severus asked. 'I refuse to believe you got no pleasure out of it.'

'Did you get pleasure out of mine?' Harry asked.

Severus was silent.

Harry took that to mean he probably had but decided not to push it any further. 'No actually it made me feel worse. Up until that point my hatred of you was mostly fuelled from the way you spoke about my father. I believed him to be kind and brave and good.'

Severus laughed bitterly.

Harry chose to ignore him. 'Your memory of him showed me he was exactly what you said he was, an arrogant asshole and a bully, and that made me feel horribly sad for myself and for you. It also made me feel like a fool.' Harry said sadly. 'I saw more of myself in you than in him, and it made me feel sick because you hated me so much and I hated you. I didn't know what to do or how to feel.' He took a deep breath. 'And I didn't understand how you thought I could be like him before you even knew me.'

'Hate blinds us.' Severus said softly, having calmed somewhat. 'But if that's true it doesn't explain your behaviour to me afterwards.'

'You threw a jar of cockroaches at me Severus.' Harry said. 'What did you expect me to do?'

'I don't know.' Severus admitted. 'But if that's how you felt it doesn't explain why you blamed me so entirely for Black's death. You knew I did everything I could under the circumstances.'

Harry took a deep breath. 'This is going to sound like an excuse but it's not, it's just the truth. I was young, only fifteen. I was immature, hurt and angry. I felt betrayed by Dumbledore who wouldn't even look me in the eye anymore. I felt betrayed by my father who appeared to not be the person I thought he was, and then I felt betrayed by you. You were supposed to teach me, you were meant to protect me, and you didn't help me when I needed you to. The only person who loved me for me, not for what I could bring to the war was dead, and while it was my fault and no one else's I couldn't cope with that guilt so I shifted it to someone else. You already hated me with every fibre of your being and so you were an easy target.' Harry paused. 'I'm sorry.'

Severus raised his eyebrows. 'Do you still blame me?'

'Of course not.' Harry said. 'I know now as I did then, that you did everything you could, and perhaps if I had listened to you, or Hermione or Professor McGonagall then Sirius would still be alive.' He paused for a moment. 'Hate does blind us Severus, but not anymore. I'm not blind to you now.'

'I'm sorry I threw a jar of cockroaches at your head.' Severus said.

Harry shrugged. 'That's okay I'm pretty sure I deserved it.'

'Perhaps.' Severus said with a smile. 'I was more angry with myself though for losing my temper so thoroughly. I pride myself on keeping my cool and you made me lose it so completely.

Harry nodded. 'I imagine that I made you lose it more often than anyone else.'

'Indeed.' Severus agreed. 'That particular time was one of the worst though, I was so terrified of what you had seen and what you would do with the information that lost control of myself. I vowed to never lose my temper so completely again.'

'I vowed the same thing.' Harry said seriously. 'Didn't stop us from both losing it the very next year though did it?'

Severus narrowed his eyes. 'On that subject just where is my copy of Advanced Potion Making?'

Harry swallowed nervously. 'Do we really have to talk about this one right now? Right when we just finished talking about the pensieve incident?'

'You brought it up.' Severus pointed out. 'You're ashamed. So you should be.'

'No actually I'm not. I mean I am about the pensieve thing but not about Advanced Potion Making.' Harry said. 'I am however concerned that this conversation will lead to an argument and I don't want you to hate me again!'

'There's no reason thing that. You're the one who ended this conversation the last time we spoke about it.' Severus said. 'And who says I don't still hate you now?'

'You do.' Harry said seriously. 'I'm in your sitting room, drinking your coffee calling you by you first name. How many other people have had this privilege?'

Severus looked up into Harry's eyes. 'You're the first.' He said, holding his gaze.

Harry's heart skipped a beat. 'Then I think it's safe to say you no longer hate me.' He said softly.

Severus looked away. 'You are indeed correct. However you do still infuriate me terribly and I like this idea of clearing the air. I agree it may be the best way forward for us. I want to understand you Harry.'

'And I you.'

'So tell me about Advanced Potion Making.' Severus said.

Harry got up from his chair and moved to the coffee table, he collected Severus' now empty mug and moved it to the side table next to the couch on the opposite side of the room along with several quills, some parchment and three large and heavy books.

'What on earth are you doing?' Severus snapped.

'Removing ammunition.' Harry said seriously. 'I don't want there to be anything within reach for you to throw at me.'

'You're just making a point you insufferable Gryffindor. You know perfectly well that if I want to throw something at you I can simply conjure it out of thin air.' Severus growled. 'Now stop stalling before I do and tell me how you managed to get your hands on my book!'

Harry sighed. He didn't sit back down in his chair; instead he began pacing the floor of the sitting room. 'Slughorn gave it to me.'

'Hmmm.' Severus said. 'I always assumed you stole it.'

Harry frowned at him. 'You really have a low opinion of me don't you?' he said.

'Had a low opinion of you.' Severus corrected. 'My opinion of you now is quite high actually.'

Harry smiled 'Really?'

'You're here aren't you?' Severus pointed out. 'Stop trying to change the subject. Why would Slughorn have given you my book?'

'Neither Ron nor I managed an Outstanding OWL in Potions.' Harry began. 'So naturally we assumed we wouldn't be continuing and therefore didn't buy any supplies prior to the year starting. When we discovered that Slughorn would take us in his NEWT class we had to explain to him that we didn't have any materials and we didn't have the required text book.' Harry explained. 'He told us to take whatever supplies we needed from the store cupboard and that in the back we would find a few old copies of Advanced Potion Making. I ended up getting yours.'

'Of course it would be you who ended up with it. No wonder you were so good at potions that year.' Severus growled. 'I suppose you didn't want to return it when you discovered its value?'

'Pretty much.' Harry said. 'Turns out you were a good potions teacher after all.'

'Careful Harry.' Severus said. 'My patience does have its limits. I wondered how you became so brilliant at potions seemingly overnight. When you used Sectumsempra on Malfoy I realised of course. You had been cheating.'

'I wouldn't call it cheating exactly.' Harry said turning red. 'I know you think that but it really isn't true.'

'What would you call it then?' Severus asked.

'I'd say you were tutoring me.' Harry said. 'Unwillingly.'

'That's quite the stretch. You may call it tutoring; I call it no different to standing behind you and telling you what to do.' Severus scoffed. 'You're right about the unwilling part though.'

Harry smiled. 'Hermione agreed with you. She thought it was cheating too. Ron said she was just jealous because you knew more than she did.'

'I imagine that was true. She never did deal well with competition.' Severus said. 'If you had been in my class you would have failed.'

'If I'd been in your class I probably wouldn't have tried it.' Harry said seriously. 'I'd be too afraid of getting caught. Or at the very least I would have been more subtle about it.'

'I expect Slughorn didn't even notice you weren't following the precise instructions did he?'

'No he didn't.' Harry confirmed. 'It's ironic that for that whole year I thought I was doing better because I didn't have you breathing down my neck every five seconds and had a proper teacher for once, then all the while it turned out it was you who was actually teaching me!'

'I can only imagine your horror when you discovered whose book it was.' Severus said softly.

'Actually my horror happened earlier than that.' Harry said. 'It's my turn for a question.'

'Yes?'

'Did you really invent Sectumsempra?' Harry asked.

Snape nodded slowly. 'Yes Harry I did.'

'It's a horrible spell Severus.' Harry said flatly, part of him had hoped it wasn't Severus' invention.

'Actually it's a very useful spell when used properly. I'm not the one who was so foolish as to cast it on someone without knowing what it did.' Severus said gently. 'You had no idea did you?'

Harry shook his head. 'No I had no idea. I never dreamed that the book would hold a spell that was so destructive. I had been working my way through all the spells you had written in the margins and they were all fairly harmless, and genius by the way. I was completely enamoured with the person who wrote it. I read it every night, convinced that the owner was some mysterious, brooding, brilliant student. I had quite the crush. I never considered for a second that it could be you. It seems so obvious now. Who else would it have been?'

'Who else indeed.' Severus said. 'How disappointing for you.'

'I wasn't disappointed. I felt betrayed, and foolish. I suppose that served me right for being so naïve.' Harry paused. 'You must have been so angry with me when you found I had cast that spell on Malfoy.'

Severus nodded. 'I have never been angrier at you than I was in that moment Harry. Not only did I feel violated knowing you had read my text book but knowing you had cast a spell so dark, created by me? When I was supposed to be keeping you safe from darkness? It was almost my undoing.' He said softly.

Harry finally stopped his pacing and moved to sit on the floor at Severus' feet, leaning up against his chair. 'I'm sorry I violated your privacy Severus, no matter how unintentionally. I'm sorry I cast that curse at Malfoy, you have no idea how sorry I am.'

'I know you are. I knew even then. It was written all over your face.' Severus said, lifting his had to rest gently on Harry's shoulder. 'However you say you're sorry about invading my privacy but also that you aren't ashamed. Would you tell me why that is?'

'I had no idea whose book it was. It was given to me. I didn't steal it, and I learned more from it than from you in the previous five years. I'm not ashamed of wanting to learn Severus. But I am sorry it caused you pain, and I am sorry I caused Malfoy pain. Despite what he was about to do to me.' Harry growled, leaning back slightly into Severus' hand. 'He was about to cast cruciatus on me.'

'I have no doubt.' Severus said softly, taking the opportunity to raise his hand to lie on Harry's neck, his fingers sneaking upwards to run gently through his hair. 'Don't judge him for it though. You yourself tried to use it on me only a short while later.'

'I don't even remember that.' Harry said softly. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay Harry, you were nearly apoplectic with rage at the time, and I'm not surprised you don't remember.' Severus said gently. 'And If I had been in your place I would have done the same. Only I probably would have succeeded.' He added.

'Why didn't it succeed?' Harry asked. 'Did I not mean it enough?' He asked hopefully.

'I blocked you with a spell of my own before you managed to completely cast it.' Severus said shortly. 'Trust me, you meant it.'

Harry leaned back even further into his touch, letting his cheek rest in the palm of Severus' hand. 'Severus?' he asked.

'Mmmmm?'

'Thank you for stopping me. If I had succeeded I couldn't bare it.' Harry whispered.

'You're welcome.' Severus said gently stroking Harry's cheek with his fingers.

'What's happening between us?' Harry asked tentatively.

'I don't know.' Severus replied honestly.

'Talking like this confuses me.' Harry confessed. 'Remembering what you were like when I was a child jumbles my feelings up inside. I understand completely now why you behaved the way you did but I can't lie to you the hurt is still there. It's confusing.'

'For me also Harry.' Severus said. 'I sometimes find it hard to believe that the war is over, that we both survived and I can actually feel any way I like about you. As for the hurt, well I wish I could take that away but I can't. What happened between us in your youth happened, and I don't think I would change it now anyway.'

'I'm not sure I would either' Harry agreed. 'In many ways I feel like it all happened just to get us here.'

'Where's here exactly?' Severus asked.

'Here in this room right now, here in this place where we can discuss the past freely with understanding, here where we have mutual respect for each other.' Harry said. 'Just here.'

'I think I understand what you mean. Although this is the first time we've managed to successfully talk about our past in a rational manner.' Severus said. 'Perhaps we needed to go through everything again to get to this point.'

'Like everything we've been through was just a straight line back to you.' Harry reached up and touched his hand to Severus' where it still touched his face, his fingers still gently stroking his cheek.

'How very poetic of you Harry.' Severus smirked.

Harry smiled. 'It was the only analogy I could think of.'

'It fits'. Severus said softly.

'This has all happened so quickly though. I feel like I've been asleep for the last 5 years, and you've finally woken me up.' Harry said.

Severus snorted. 'Does that make me Prince Charming?' he teased.

Harry turned towards him, kneeling up on both knees and resting his hands gently on Severus' thighs. 'Why don't you kiss me and we'll find out?' He asked seriously, his heart pounding furiously.

Severus took a breath, his dark eyes locked on Harry's green ones. 'Are you sure?'

'I'm sure.' Harry said and leaned in towards him, grabbing the front of his robes and pulling him in.

Severus went willingly and pulled Harry up towards him to sit awkwardly in his lap crushing his lips to his, and running his hands from Harry's waist up his back and into his hair.

Harry adjusted himself slightly so he was sitting astride Severus and deepened their kiss pushing his tongue in to meet Severus', curling his tongue around his and nipping gently at his lower lip. Severus growled and pulled Harry even closer before breaking their kiss and lowering his head to Harry's neck placing a feathering of kisses along his jawline. Harry leaned his head back and moaned, and ground his hips into Severus' pushing their erections together.

'Harry fuck, we should stop.' Severus said breathlessly.

'Why is that again?' Harry asked, pulling Severus face up towards him and kissing him furiously.

Severus pulled slowly away just far enough to stop them for a few seconds. 'Harry, please stop for one second and think about what it is we're doing here. It's way too soon for this.'

'Don't you want to?' Harry asked, allowing just a touch of hurt and rejection into his voice.

'Shhhh Harry of course I do' Severus said softly, running his hand down the side of his face. 'I just want to make sure you realise what this means. We don't have to rush into this.'

'Fine, I'll stop.' Harry said softly, leaning in to kiss Severus again gently. 'Just as soon as I've kissed you again.'

'Harry.' Severus murmured between kisses.

'Mmmmm' Harry murmured in return, pushing a little bit closer.

'Wait Harry.' Severus said seriously sitting upright, placing a hand over Harry's lips. 'Did you hear that?'

Harry stopped and listened. 'I don't hear anything.' He said.

'Someone's outside.' Severus said quickly.

Harry quickly pushed himself off Severus' lap. 'That's impossible.' He said quickly. 'Your wards?'

Severus shook his head. 'It should be impossible, the wards are still up.'

Severus reached into his robes and withdrew his wand.

There was an audible thump against what Harry assumed was the front door. 'Severus' he said cautiously. 'That I heard. There's definitely someone here.'

Severus pushed Harry behind him as he moved towards the front door. 'Stay behind me please.' He said.

'Severus I'm fine.' Harry replied quickly following him.

'For Merlin's sake Harry don't fight me on this. You don't have a wand, I know you can do wand less magic but please do what you're told for once in your life.' Severus pleaded.

'Okay I'm here, I'm right behind you.' Harry said again gripping Severus by the hand firmly while remaining behind him.

They approached the front door with caution; Severus slowly opened it with his wand outstretched.

On the doorstep there was a parcel wrapped in a grimy looking cloth tied with string. There was a note with it addressed to Harry. Severus levitated it inside with his wand closing the door tight behind him before sealing it with a number of spells. He brought the parcel to the kitchen placing it gingerly on the table.

'You want me to open it?' Severus asked Harry, keeping a firm grip on his hand.

'I suppose one of us should.' Harry said grimly. 'There doesn't seem to be anything magical about it so it most likely can't harm us.'

Severus nodded, and flicked his wand at the package. The string slowly untied and the fabric folded back to reveal another note sitting on top of what appeared to be a severed human hand.

'What the fuck is this?' Harry asked tightly.

Severus unfolded the note with another flick of his wand and they both leaned in to read.

_'Did you really think it would be that easy?_

_Think again._

_This is merely a small sample of my next masterpiece._

_You have 24 hours until it is complete._

_Use them wisely'_

Severus pulled Harry in towards him in a fierce embrace. 'We have to get out of here.' He said quickly.

'Agreed.' Harry mumbled into Snape's chest.

'Don't let go.' Severus said as he wrapped both arms firmly around Harry and turned on the spot.


	12. Deadline

Harry was extremely surprised to see that Severus had apparated them to the street just out of the Leaky Cauldron. 'Really Severus?' He asked, taking a step back out of his embrace. 'Of all the places you could have chosen you had to bring us here? It's a little out in the open isn't it?'

Severus just glared at him and then took his hand and quickly pulled him into a shadowy side street. 'I wasn't exactly thinking clearly.' He confessed, dropping Harry's hand once they were safely out of the open. 'I just wanted to get you out of there. Besides I wanted somewhere close to the ministry.'

'This certainly fits the criteria.' Harry confirmed, starting to walk down the alley in the direction of the ministry, leaving Severus to trail after him. 'And I don't think anyone saw us.'

'Are you that ashamed to be seen in public with me?' Severus snapped. 'Afraid the image of you wrapped in the greasy old professor's arms would damage your reputation?'

Harry stopped so abruptly that Severus practically ran into him. He turned to face the older man and placed both his hands on his chest. 'I am only going to say this once' He said firmly, 'I am not now and never will be ashamed of a single part of you, or of whatever lies between us.' He paused. 'I'm disappointed that you would think such a thing.'

Severus just looked at him, black eyes boring into green, and then Severus gave a slight jerk of his head signalling Harry to keep moving. Harry chose to take one more minute to run his hands slowly down Severus' chest before slowly turning and continuing toward the ministry.

Once Severus managed to breathe again he followed silently behind.

'And you're not greasy.' Harry stated firmly.

Severus remained silent.

…

'Well this is very disturbing.' Blaise Zabini said quietly, leaning away from the conference table as if distancing himself could make it better.

'To say the least.' Bennett agreed, folding her arms in front of her, a frown on her face. She had remained standing for the entire meeting, choosing instead to pace back and forward in front of the white board.

Harry and Severus remained quiet. Upon arriving at the ministry they had quickly got in to see Arthur Prewitt and the rest of the team assigned to the case. Kingsley had been briefed and had cancelled a phone call with the Australian Muggle Prime Minister in order to sit in on this meeting and had listened attentively to everything Harry and Severus had to say. Auror’s had then been dispatched to Severus' cottage (with Severus to let them through the wards) to collect the package left by the killer.

The package was now sitting in the middle of the conference table much like the first note from the killer had been.

Harry wondered if that's exactly why the killer had sent it to them.

There was a great deal of shock value in chopping off someone's hand and delivering it to another person. Add in the fact that the hand was accompanied by a deadline and the whole thing was to be honest quite terrifying. For some reason that terror didn't seem to affect Harry much and instead he just felt unbelievably angry.

'What does he mean by that note?' Prewitt asked. 'We have 24 hours until what exactly?'

'Until he saws off another body part or completes his next kill obviously' Bennett said scathingly.

Severus nodded. 'Indeed, that's the only conclusion we can make from this.'

'Well one thing is abundantly clear.' Harry said. 'Whoever it was that attacked Ron and Hermione was not the murderer we're looking for.' He paused. 'It looks like I did kill an innocent man.'

'Stop it Harry.' Kingsley rumbled from the head of the table. 'Questioning that decision is not going to get us anywhere.'

'It's not going to make it go away by not discussing it either.' Severus said, gently placing his hand on Harry's arm in comfort for a moment. 'Would you prefer he not feel remorse?'

'Remorse isn't necessary.' Bennett spoke up. 'We found out who he was.'

Harry had been looking at a scratch on the surface of the table but at those words his head snapped up. 'Who was he?' he demanded.

Bennett looked at Kingsley for a moment.

'You might as well tell him.' He said. 'It'll make him feel better, besides we'd have to tell him sometime anyway.'

'Ms Granger and Mr Weasley's attacker was a patient of Broadmoor Hospital.' Bennett began.

'The psychiatric hospital for muggles?' Harry questioned.

Bennett nodded. 'His name was Robert Arnold, he escaped two weeks ago.'

'An escaped mental patient?' Harry asked. 'Seriously? That's who I killed?'

'He was a very dangerous man Harry.' Prewitt said. 'He was responsible for the deaths of 7 women over the last several years.'

'Was he a muggle?' Severus questioned.

Bennet sighed. 'Yes he was.'

'A muggle serial killer.' Harry said flatly. 'Perfect. Our muggle loving psychopath must have been so overjoyed to set him free.' Assuming that's what happened of course.'

'I rather doubt he just picked him up off the street.' Severus said drily.

'We assume that's what happened.' Bennett continued.

'When did you find all this out?' Harry asked suddenly.

'This all came to light yesterday.' Prewitt said. 'Thanks to Special Agent Bennett and her contacts with the please men.'

'Police.' Bennett corrected automatically. 'Scotland Yard to be precise.'

'Yes well now we know.' Kingsley stated. 'So you can stop feeling sorry for yourself Harry. You won't be charged with his murder as clearly if you had not killed this Robert Arnold he would undoubtedly have killed Hermione and then perhaps yourself.'

'Perhaps?' Harry asked.

'All his victims were women.' Bennett said. 'As far we know he has never killed a man. I suspect it's not in his M.O. which is why he left Ron alive in the first instance.'

'M.O?' Harry asked.

'Modus Operandi' Severus said quietly.

Bennett raised her eyebrows. 'I'm impressed Mr Snape.'

'I wouldn't be.' Severus drawled. 'It's a small thing to be impressed about.'

'Can we please get back to the point?' Harry asked. 'We've established two things. The killer is still very much at large, and he's captured someone and severely mutilated him. We have less than 24 hours by my count assuming the asshole won't jump the gun on the deadline he'd given us and we're sitting around here doing nothing to find him!'

'Harry I understand your distress but you need to keep it together.' Prewitt said. 'We're working on it. We're doing all we can.'

'We're not doing enough.' Harry said.

'Calm down.' Severus said softly, placing his hand once again on Harry's arm. 'I can practically feel your blood boiling from here. You aren't helping if you can't control your emotions.'

Harry let out a breath he didn't even realise he has been holding. Severus was right. Getting angry wouldn't help anyone. Instead he just focused on the warmth of Severus' hand on his arm.

'I wasn't aware you were helping at all Potter.' Zabini said snappily. 'Weren't you booted off this case when you killed the muggle?'

Harry remained silent but gave Zabini such a dark look that most of the room physically recoiled.

Prewitt looked to Kingsley for assistance.

Kingsley sighed. 'Given that Harry is obviously still under threat from this madman, and given that he has in fact as of today been cleared of any wrongdoing in the murder of Robert Arnold, it is my suggestion to reinstate his consultancy status.'

'Merlin Kingsley, that was the most long winded clearance I've ever heard.' Jones said with a smirk. 'Now we have this cleared up can we concentrate on the bloody case please?'

'Yes please.' Severus muttered.

'Fine.' Prewitt said throwing his hands up in the air.

‘Can I have my wand back now please?’ Harry asked, holding out his hand.

Prewitt sighed, but retrieved Harry’s wand and handed it to him.

'I'll leave you to it.' Kingsley said standing from his chair and sweeping his robes out grandly. 'I have an overdue appointment with the Australian Prime Minister, he's a strange muggle that's for sure and gets rather uptight when I keep him waiting. Keep me updated of your progress.' He said to Prewitt, and then nodded at Harry and Severus before leaving the room.

'Can someone please bring us up to date?' Severus asked snarkily. 'We've wasted far too much time already and someone's life hangs in the balance.'

It didn't take long for the rest of the team to bring Harry and Severus up to date. They really hadn't missed much at all.

Bennett explained that most of the investigation recently had been focused on finding out who Robert Arnold was. She had reached out to Scotland Yard in the hope they could help and she had been quickly rewarded. Unfortunately now that Scotland Yard knew that the FBI (for that was what she had told them, leaving the wizards out altogether) had the body of the escaped serial killer they wanted the body back. Bennett had stalled them but unfortunately they only had a few more hours left before they had to release it.

They quickly decided to split into three teams, Prewitt and Zabini were to go back over all the original victims and crime scenes to see if they had missed anything, Jones and Severus were to further examine the body of Robert Arnold as well as the scene of the attack for any possible clues they had missed. Harry and Bennett had been tasked with visiting Broadmoor Hospital to speak with the staff there and determine how exactly Robert Arnold had escaped. Given that Harry had grown up with Muggles he was deemed most suitable to accompany Bennett in case they needed any magical intervention.

Harry very much doubted that it would be necessary.

Broadmoor was a very forbidding looking place. An old dirty red brick building with high fences all around, Harry thought it far more resembled a prison than a hospital. Bennett had explained that indeed it had been a prison for much of its early life, and considering it was the go to place for the criminally insane it might as well still be one.

Upon arrival they were subjected to a lengthy security check followed by a lecture of what not to do and how important it was to follow the hospital rules for the sake of their own wellbeing and the wellbeing of the patients. Harry refrained from pointing out that following the rules clearly hadn't helped Robert Arnold's wellbeing. Eventually they managed to see the director of the hospital, an officious man who seemed so puffed up by his own importance that he refused to believe his hospital had had any kind of security leak and that sometimes "accidents do happen".

Bennett had glared at him with such a look of contempt that he was soon calling the meeting to its end and suggesting they might perhaps get the information they were after from the floor warden instead.

By this stage Harry was past irritated and starting to feel quite desperate. They had already wasted several hours and had absolutely nothing to show for it.

'Harry calm down.' Bennett said quietly, as they followed an orderly to the ward where Robert Arnold had been imprisoned. 'Haven't you ever heard of the term make haste slowly?'

Harry just raised his eyebrow at her. 'Haste and slowly aren't usually in the same sentence.' He said shortly.

'It means if you rush about when you're in a hurry or feeling desperate you miss things, and then you have to start all over again.' Bennett said. 'We are far better off to take a breath and let things unfold as they will. Believe me we are doing all we can to catch this guy, we need this information and we have to take the time to gather it properly.'

Harry nodded, and then took a deep breath. He knew she was right of course but it didn't make him feel any better. 'How can you do this all day every day?' He asked. 'This kind of tension would drive me crazy.'

'Believe me it's not like this all the time. Often I find myself simply surrounded by unfinished paperwork.' Bennett said.

'Yeah right.' Harry muttered.

The orderly stopped suddenly. 'This is the high security ward'. He said, pointing through a security door to a long corridor beyond. 'The first door on the right is where you'll find the floor warden, I'll buzz you in. She's expecting you.'

The security door buzzed open with a swipe of the orderly's staff card and he waved them towards the office 'Through there.' He said before turning and disappearing back the way he came.

'Interesting.' Bennett muttered to herself and then proceeded to the first door on the right.

Harry didn't bother to ask what was interesting, instead just followed her. The door was open and Bennett casually leaned against it as she knocked gently.

The floor warden was sitting behind an old wooden desk in the middle of the room buried behind a computer and a mountain of paperwork. She looked up at Bennett's knock and looked down her nose at them. 'You must be the police officers' She said in a curt tone. 'Do come in.' she said waving her hand towards the two chairs in front of her desks.

'Thank you.' Bennett said entering the room with an air of authority and seating herself in one of the chairs. Harry followed her lead, taking the other one.

'I'm Detective Bennett and this is Detective Potter.' Bennett said.

Harry simply nodded at the floor warden.

'I'm Harriett Jenson.' She said leaning forward, rising from her chair slightly to shake their hands. 'I understand you have some questions regarding Robert Arnold?'

'That's correct.' Bennett said. 'Are you aware that he's deceased?'

'We were told that yes. A heart attack I believe?' Harriett said. 'Somewhat surprising news.'

'Why is that?' Bennett asked.

'When one of our patients escapes, particularly one in our high security ward, they don't usually show up dead of a heart attack. If anything they are killed in the process of trying to capture them.' Harriett replied. 'Besides he was in excellent health.'

Harry tensed slightly feeling uncomfortable.

'What can you tell me about his escape?' Bennett asked.

'Not a lot unfortunately. It was a very strange thing.'

'Strange how?' Harry interrupted.

'Robert Arnold was a high security, high risk patient. He was only allowed out of his room for one hour a day for exercise. The day he had escaped he didn't leave his cell at all. He had complained of a head ache and a feeling of severe depression earlier that morning. His psychiatrist was called for and administered an antidepressant. He then chose to remain in his cell for the rest of the day. When I did night check at just after 11pm he was in his cell asleep. When I did morning check the next day before my shift ended at 6am I noticed he was missing from his cell and raised the alarm.' Harriett paused. 'I have absolutely no idea how he escaped from his cell, let alone the hospital itself. There are several secure doors between here and the outside and he didn't pass by me.'

'Are you absolutely sure of that?' Harry asked.

Harriett gave him a withering glare. 'Of course I'm sure. These are high risk patients Detective Potter. We are well trained and follow strict protocols at all times. There is no room for human error, and we do not allow it.'

Bennett chose to ignore that comment and press on despite feeling sure that mistakes by human error happened just as frequently here as in any other hospital. 'Had Mr Arnold had any visitors in the last few weeks?' She asked instead.

Harriett nodded. 'Yes he did which was also strange because prior to this he had not had a single one.'

'What's your procedure for visitors to this ward?' Bennett asked, making a few notes in her notepad.

'Visitors are checked at security like you would have been upon your arrival. They are then brought to the ward and taken through the safety procedures. Then and only then are they taken to a patient's room. In this ward where most of the rooms are high security, visitors must sit in the hallway and speak to the patients through the glass walls of their cells.'

'Are they supervised visits?' Bennett asked.

'Not really. They go into the corridor alone but I can hear them and see them from my station if needed.' Harriett said.

'What can you tell me about Mr Arnold's visitor?' Bennett asked.

Harriett frowned. 'I don't know.' She shook her head slightly and then looked down. 'I never forget a face or a voice but this one just eludes me. It's as if he was so ordinary he was invisible. I don't even remember how old he was.'

'That's rather strange seeing as he had never had a visitor before.' Bennett commented. 'Surely that would have sparked your interest?'

Harriett shook her head. 'I don't disagree, but I don't know what to tell you. I don't remember him.'

'Is there any video footage?' Bennett asked. 'Surely you must have surveillance cameras?'

Harriett frowned again. 'Why yes we do. I should have thought of that. Come with me and I'll show you.'

It didn't take long for her to locate the surveillance tape and after some tedious scrolling they finally found the footage they were after. The camera was focused on the corridor running alongside Robert Arnold's cell. His visitor casually sat on the floor right in front of him and the two just seemed to sit and stare at each other. Then after a few minutes the visitor got up and left just as silently as he arrived. There didn't appear to have been a conversation had at all.

In regards to who it was, well it was plain to see why Harriett couldn't remember a thing about him. He was obviously using magic to project a very different image than his own. It was perhaps a glamour, or even a memory charm but what the camera picked up was something else altogether. His image was slightly blurred, as if Harry was looking at it without his glasses. He could tell that it was a man, of medium height with dark brown hair but that was all. Not exactly a lot to go on.

Bennett refrained from commenting much on the video footage, they all saw the same thing and Harriett was the only one to comment that perhaps the camera wasn't functioning properly even though the image of Robert Arnold was crystal clear, and only the visitors image blurred.

Harry was once again amazed at a muggles capacity to ignore the magic right in front of them.

There wasn't much else they could discover and after a quick search of Robert Arnold's room (which turned up nothing) Bennett thanked Harriett for her time and they left Broadmoor hospital. They had printed off a photo from the surveillance footage to take back with them though neither of them thought it would be much help.

'What do you think happened?' Bennett asked Harry, as they were walking along the road running adjacent to the hospital, looking for the port key to take them back to the ministry.

'I don't know exactly.' Harry said slowly. 'He obviously came back later to collect him, but I don't know why he went there and met with him first. They didn't even talk. It was strange.'

'Perhaps they did talk, and we just didn't see it.' Bennett suggested.

'Perhaps. Or maybe he was using legilimency.'

'Which is what exactly?' Bennett asked.

'Reading his mind.' Harry said, while looking around for the port key.

'Did he need to do that to help him escape? To make him agreeable maybe?' Bennett mused.

'Honestly? Probably not. He could have done it any number of ways.' Harry said slowly. 'He obviously used a spell of some kind to cover his identity during the visit but I don't know why he didn't just use a memory charm on the staff to make them forget he came entirely.'

'He wanted you to know.' Bennett said. 'He's taunting you.'

'Well that would certainly fit his profile so far.' Harry muttered.

'How do you think they got out?' Bennett asked.

'Most likely he came back later that night and apparated right into his cell, and then took him out exactly the same way. It wouldn't exactly be hard.' Harry said.

'You couldn't tell when we were in his cell? There wasn't any magical residue?' Bennett asked.

Harry shook his head. 'I can't just sense it. I'm not Yoda. I would have needed to cast spells to find any traces, but by now there wouldn't be much left anyway. I really didn't think it was necessary at the time. There's no doubt that he used magic to get him out. I just don't understand why he wanted him so badly.'

'I suspect he either knows him personally, or knew of him at the very least. He possibly admires him somewhat, he was a serial killer like himself after all but he may also have had a grudge against him for some reason. He clearly intended for you to kill him, but yet he also wanted your friends to die first.' Bennett paused. 'It was a double punishment.'

'And now he has someone else.' Harry said flatly. 'And we can't find him.'

'We will Harry.' Bennett said. 'And when we do I plan on killing him with my bare hands.'

'You'll have to get in line.' Harry said tightly.

Bennett didn't respond, instead she pointed at a red plastic bucket peeking out from behind a bush. 'Is that the port key?' She asked.

'Yep that's it.' Harry confirmed, and together they grabbed hold of it and were whisked back to the ministry.

As soon as they got back Harry knew something was wrong. People were running here and there, and owls and interdepartmental memos were flapping about all over the place.

'This doesn't look good.' Bennett said quietly.

'No it doesn't.' Harry agreed. 'I don't understand. We still have two hours to go until his deadline.'

'Sometimes they can't wait Harry. You can never count on it.' Bennett said, as they rounded the corner and headed into the Auror headquarters.

Severus was waiting for them, arms folded and leaning slightly against Blaise Zabini's desk.

'Severus?' Harry asked expectantly a pit of dread in him stomach.

Severus shook his head. 'I'm sorry Harry, we were too late. There's been another murder.'


	13. Oblivion is calling out your name

The killer had jumped the gun on the deadline by approximately four hours as near as they could tell. Around the time Harry and Bennett were arriving at Broadmoor Hospital a young man was seen acting suspiciously near the Copper Penny, a local pub not more than 2 miles from the Ministry of Magic. A rather paranoid witch had reported the behaviour to the Auror's office and given the situation it had immediately been investigated.

A team was dispatched to the location and found the murder scene behind the Copper Penny, in a back alleyway.

The victim was Ira Benedict. Ira was an internationally famous wizard known more for being famous than anything else and was almost as big headed as Gilderoy Lockhart had been. Unfortunately for Ira his head had been removed from his body by what looked to be a sword or an axe. His wand was found less than a metre from his body on the same side as the bodies missing hand. It was snapped in half as all the others had been. A note had been found underneath the pieces of wand written on plain muggle paper. It simply said,

_Too bad magic couldn't save him._

_This one is on you Harry._

_You won't be the golden boy for much longer._

Harry didn't really what to say or how to feel. Numbness had spread across his entire body until he could no longer speak even if he had wished to.

'Harry don't let this beat you.' Bennett said to him quietly. 'You never stood a chance of making that deadline. He had this planned so far in advance there really was nothing we could do.'

Harry just gave a small jerk of his head which was the closest he could give to a nod.

Severus remained by his side, standing close by him but not too close. 'She's right.' He said quietly. 'But this murder changes things. His control is slipping.'

Bennett nodded. 'Yes it is.'

Harry didn't say anything. He didn't think it would make of a difference at this point.

It was another few hours before the assigned criminal healer had completed the examination of the body. There were no new details found by the magical examiner.

'Perhaps an autopsy should be arranged.' Severus suggested upon hearing this. The group of auror’s assigned to the case plus Harry, Severus and Bennett were once again gathered in the conference room. Harry was starting to feel like it was his second living room.

'What's an autopsy?' Prewitt asked, a blank look on his face.

Severus just looked at Bennett. 'You want to take this one?' He asked. 'Something tells me they'll take it better coming from you.'

'I doubt it.' Harry muttered.

'What is it?' Prewitt asked again, folding his arms across his chest.

'It's where a medical examiner, a doctor or healer as you would call them dissects the body looking for information about how they were killed.' Bennett said.

'Dissects as in cut up?' Blaise asked with a horrified expression.

'We wouldn't use that term but essentially yes.' Bennett confirmed. 'We also run medical tests to see if there were any toxins in their blood, or anything else that may have caused their death.'

'I think we know their cause of death.' Prewitt said bluntly. 'An axe to a head is pretty conclusive. Besides we've cast several diagnostic spells on the victim's body already and found nothing, I don't think mutilating it will provide new information!'

'You've cast magical diagnostic spells looking for magical traces and toxins.' Severus corrected. 'We're dealing with a killer who is fascinated with muggles and hates magic. That much is clear. Don't you think that in addition to killing in a muggle fashion that the killer might have used a muggle toxin? Or perhaps left traces that only muggle technology might find? Just looking for magical answers isn't getting us very far.' He pointed put.

Prewitt rubbed his hands over his eyes. 'For someone who didn't even want to be a part of this investigation you're being remarkable pushy Snape.' He said tiredly. 'Fine. Do your muggle aupotty thing.'

'Autopsy.' Harry corrected.

Prewitt glared at him. 'But don't expect it to yield the answers you're looking for.' He snapped.

'I never expect anything to yield answers Prewitt.' Bennett said. 'But we would be foolish to leave any stone unturned.'

Prewitt just shook his head. 'Whatever you think is best.' He said. 'The body is yours. I suppose you'll wish to take it away to one of your hospitals?'

Bennett nodded. 'I'll find someone to do it tonight and rush the results. I should have preliminary results by the end of tomorrow.'

Prewitt stood up. 'Fine. Let's finish up for the night. It's late and I doubt that we can do any more good right now by staying here. Let's start again fresh tomorrow.'

As they all rose to leave for the evening Harry realised he wasn't really sure where he should be staying the night. It appeared as though both his and Severus' homes were no longer safe, and he wasn't going to risk anyone else's safety either.

Severus came to stand beside him. 'My home is as good as any.' He said softly, as if reading Harry's thoughts. 'Besides I refuse to be forced out of it by some psychopath.' He added.

'Mmmm hmmm.' Harry agreed, nodding slightly.

When they got to the atrium Harry was surprised by Severus reaching out and grabbing his hand. He then turned them both on the spot and apparated them to his kitchen.

'Are you telling me all this time I could have just apparated straight here instead of going to those stupid coordinates?' Harry asked.

'You couldn't idiot. I can but no one else can.' Severus snapped and dropped Harry's hand.

'Makes sense I suppose.' Harry muttered, feeling foolish for hoping that Severus had just wanted to hold his hand. Somehow the events of the past twenty four hours had built a wall between them again.

Harry was too tired and heartsick to try and break it down. What had happened or would happen between them could wait; after all he had still invited him to stay again. 'I need Firewhiskey.' He said abruptly.

'I think we might have drunk the last of it.' Severus said.

'Then dip into your secret stash.' Harry said harshly. 'I'm sure you have one.'

Severus raised his eyebrows. 'Sit' he said, abruptly pulling a chair out from the table for Harry to sit at.'

For lack of a better idea Harry sat down.

Severus did manage to find a half empty bottle of Firewhiskey and poured a glass for them both, placing Harry's in front of him and then sitting in the chair opposite the half empty bottle between them.

For a time they just sat there in silence. Harry sculling his first two glasses while Severus took small sips.

‘Trying to drink your way into oblivion?' Severus asked quietly.

Harry just shrugged and continued drinking.

'You're being very immature.' Severus said.

Harry just glared at him and continued to drink albeit at a slightly slower rate.

Severus just waited for him to respond.

'Why is it always about me?' Harry finally said, his voice cracking ever so slightly making him sound like a very small child.

'Potter that's a question I've asked the world so many times over I've lost count.' Severus said with a sigh. 'In short the only reason everything is about you as you so aptly put it is because the Dark Lord chose to make it so. Unfortunately his death hasn't stopped that one iota.'

'Why do you still call him the Dark Lord?' Harry asked.

'Some habits are hard to break.' Severus growled.

'It's not fair.' Harry said, very much aware of how whiny he sounded.

'When are you going to realise that life isn't fair Harry?' Severus said sharply. 'You've been given ample evidence over the course of your lifetime to know that life isn't fair. You can be the most decent person in the world and be given the worst lot in life. You know that, so stop sitting here feeling sorry for yourself when you can't do anything to change it. Besides you know that it could always be worse than it is. At least we have our lives. Five years ago that wasn't guaranteed, both of us very nearly lost them.'

Harry sighed. 'I know. That's true, and I know that I need to remember that but really? When is it going to end?'

'I can't tell you that.' Severus said. 'I'd say that it will end when you make it end, but that might not be true. Let me ask you something; you made the choice to join this investigation rather than continue to hide in your cottage, why?'

Harry shrugged. 'I was tired of hiding.'

'That's not entirely true. You could have come out of hiding at any stage of your life why now?'

'I don't know.' Harry said. 'I wanted to help. Maybe I just wanted to see you again.' He added, lowering his gaze slightly.

'As flattering as that is I also doubt it's true. You hated me Harry.' Severus reminded him. 'During your time at Hogwarts you always talked about being an Auror. Why didn't you pursue that after the war? It's what everyone expected you would do.'

'Perhaps that's why I didn't do it.' Harry mused. 'The war took so much out of me that I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want any more fame, I didn't want to be looked at anymore in the street. I didn't want to catch dark wizards anymore. At first I intended it to just be a break but then as time went on I found it harder and harder to get back into it.'

'You essentially took a five year break didn't you?' Severus asked.

'Essentially.' Harry agreed. 'But not deliberately.'

'Let me ask you this.' Severus continued. 'If this killer hadn't fixated upon you how would you feel about the events of today?'

Harry frowned. 'I don't know what you mean.'

'What if the killer had fixated on myself? Or on Hermione?'

Harry's stomach turned over. 'I don't want to think about that.' He said. 'At least if he's coming for me I have some control over it.'

'On the contrary Harry. We both know you have no control over this.' Severus said softly.

Harry nodded. 'It's easier to deal with if I pretend I do though.'

'I can see what you're feeling.' Severus said. 'But this isn't your fault.'

Harry looked up into Severus' dark eyes. 'I know. But that doesn't make it any easier.'

'I know.' Severus nodded, holding Harry's gaze.

'Let me ask you something, why did you decide to help with this investigation?' Harry asked. 'You had less reason than I to help and yet you did anyway, and help me no less who as you yourself just stated allegedly hated you.'

Severus smirked slightly at Harry's words. 'You forget that I sold the fucker Felix Felicis. If this is anyone's fault its mine. I felt compelled to assist.'

'But why assist me? You could have gone to the ministry and offered to assist them.' Harry pressed.

'Maybe I just wanted to see you again.' Severus said echoing Harry's earlier words.

Harry laughed. 'You mock me.' He said. 'I know you hated me too.'

'I did yes.' Severus agreed. 'As previously discussed it was as much a coping mechanism as anything else. After the war and after your testimony at my trial I decided that I needed to let go of the past and learn who you really were. I thought I owed you that much.'

'I felt that too, although you have that backwards. You don't owe me anything. In fact I owe you my life several times over.' Harry said softly.

'You're forgetting the reason why that is Harry.' Severus reminded him harshly, lowering his eyes.

'I'm not forgetting anything.' Harry said, reaching across the table and gently touching Severus's hand.

'Enough.' Severus said. 'I don't want to talk anymore.'

'If you don't want to talk anymore what do you want to do?' Harry asked, moving his hand away to pour himself yet another drink.

Severus pulled the now mostly empty bottle away from him. 'No more drink.' He snapped. Then stood slowly and took Harry by the hand, leading him towards the bedroom.

Harry followed without much thought past that Severus's hand felt soft and warm in his and that a deliciously tingly feeling had begun to spread throughout his body. He felt more than a little tipsy but not so much that his head wasn't fully aware of where this was leading, or could be leading. Frankly he didn't care much whatever happened.

Severus paused at the door to his bedroom and looked at Harry. 'If you're not ready for this we don't have to do anything.' He said softly, not quite meeting Harry's eyes. 'I don't imagine you have much experience with this.'

'Experience with another man or experience in general?' Harry asked. 'Not that it matters as I've very little experience past that of a normal teenager.'

Severus smirked. 'As I expected.' He said. 'Though you were never an ordinary teenager.' He said, leaning forward to capture Harry's mouth in a lingering kiss.

Harry responded eagerly, leaning closely up against Severus's chest, deepening the kiss and snaking his arms around Severus' neck to twine his fingers in his hair. 'I don't imagine you've had that much more experience yourself.' He said after pulling back slightly and placing a gently kiss on Severus's collarbone.

'One doesn't form attachments while in the employ of Lord Voldemort.' Severus murmured, cupping Harry's face in his hands and kissing him deeply again, pulling him gently into the room and towards the bed. 'Not if they were wise anyway.' He added.

'I believe we were talking of experience rather than attachments anyway.' Harry murmured knowing all too well the result of Severus' only attachment whilst in the employ of Voldemort. He expelled the thought, instead pushing Severus's cloak off his shoulders to reveal simple black wizard robes underneath. Harry ran his hands over Severus's chest feeling his muscles and bent to kiss his collarbone.

'Indeed'. Severus murmured in agreement, pulling Harry's shirt over his head and dropping it on the floor behind them. 'While my experience isn't exactly extensive it's most likely a little more than yours.'

'Shut up and kiss me please.' Harry insisted, pulling himself up to grab Severus by the back of his head and kiss him furiously.

Severus responded in kind and before long they had reached the bed, Severus shedding the last vestiges of Harry's clothing as they went until he gently laid a naked Harry down and gazed at him.

Harry raised his eyebrows. 'What exactly are you waiting for?' He asked eyebrows raised. 'I'm clearly ready and waiting!' He said impatiently looking pointedly at his erection which was standing straight up and practically quivering in anticipation.

'I have no intention of rushing this Harry.' Severus said quietly, his dark eyes roaming in approval over Harry's naked form. 'I've learned the hard way to appreciate every single moment you have, and to make the good ones last as long as possible.'

Harry privately doubted that he'd last very long at all if Severus continued to move at this glacial pace. The anticipation alone was practically killing him. He forced himself to slow down and consider what he was about to do, savour the way Severus was looking at him now, which was in a way no other had ever looked at him before. 'You're wearing entirely too many clothes.' Harry said eventually.

Severus leaned over him and kissed him from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his chin, his lips dry but so soft against Harry's slightly unshaven face. 'I'm only wearing robes Harry.' He whispered.

Harry's eyes widened. 'Only?'

Severus smirked. 'Why don't you find out?' he asked sitting up slightly.

Harry reached eagerly towards him and began to pull at the hem which was now quite tangled beneath them. He eventually managed to lift them up over Severus' head revealing that Severus was indeed naked underneath.

Harry looked at him for a moment then slowly pushed him down to lie on the bed before him. It was his turn to examine every inch of the man who had so quickly become the focus of his world, who had made him feel so alive again and he liked what he saw. Severus was not so different to himself, pale almost to translucence with a fairly well formed chest with a smattering of dark hair; his eyes dark and full of longing and something else Harry wasn't foolish enough to put a name to yet.

Instead he followed Severus' earlier lead and bent to kiss his chest softly, slowly working down his side to his hips, his cheek nudging gently against his erection. He then turned his head slightly and ran his tongue up the length of Severus's cock before taking him entirely into his mouth and sucking him hard. Severus moaned loudly and thrust his hips upward ever so slightly forcing himself further into Harry's mouth. Harry took that as a sign of encouragement and continued sucking, taking in more and more of Severus each time. Severus moaned again and reached forward to twine his fingers into Harry's hair as his head bobbed up and down between his legs.

'Harry…' Severus moaned. 'Harry you have to stop, not yet I don't want to come yet.' He moaned again. 'Haaarrry please!'

Harry eventually pulled away and sat up with a smirk on his face.

'Have you ever done that before?' Severus asked, incredulity lining his face.

Harry shook his head. 'Was it terrible?' he asked knowing full well it wasn't.

'Stop being a twit.' Severus replied grabbing him roughly by the shoulders and flipping them so Harry was beneath him, flat on his back. 'Now it's my turn!' He growled and bent to kiss Harry's neck, nipping slightly at his ear lobe, before moving down his body and taking him into his mouth, running his tongue along the bottom of his cock and tasting the precome oozing out of the tip.

Harry's head rolled back and his back arched. 'Fucking hell.' He hissed. 'You've clearly done this before.'

Severus ignored him, choosing instead to focus on the feel of Harry's cock in his mouth, the weight of it and how wonderful it tasted. He teased him for a while, sucking him more slowly and languorously, before speeding up and sucking him hard. He could hear Harry's moans getting louder and his breathing accelerating and could feel his own erection responding, the blood pounding in his cock.

'Severus stop, I'm going to…' Harry moaned, trying to pull away but Severus wouldn't let him move holding him firmly by the hips and continuing to suck until Harry lost control and came furiously into Severus's mouth and down his throat.

Severus slowly released Harry and placed soft kisses once again on his hips, hands running down the length of his thighs, lifting his legs slightly to cup Harry's ass.

Harry covered his face with his hands. 'I can't believe I didn't last longer.' He groaned. 'How embarrassing!'

Severus pulled his hands away from his face and laughed. 'Actually I'm very surprised you didn't lose control sooner!' He said, softly caressing Harry's ass and running one finger slowly over his entrance.

That answered Harry's unasked question of how things were going to go next. He obviously knew the fundamentals of homosexual intercourse but didn't know how to broach the subject of who topped and who bottomed, nor did he much want to. He was happy to let Severus take the lead. In all honesty the idea didn't bother him in the slightest despite feeling unsure about it earlier in his life.

As Severus kept teasing his entrance he found himself growing hard again. 'You're way too good at this. 'He stated, poking Severus in the centre of his chest before leaning down to kiss him softly. 'I want to have more fun with you first.' He whispered suggestively in his ear.

Harry then proceeded to trace every inch of Severus's body with first his fingers, gently tracing every scar, every line every feature he could find and then following with his mouth, leaving a trail of hot kisses as he went. By this stage Severus was so on edge that he once again pushed Harry down on the bed and lifting up his legs whispered a quick lubrication charm. As Severus gently pushed one finger inside of him Harry moaned and felt himself begin to harden again in anticipation and desire. 'There goes my virginity.' He panted.

Severus looked at him in concern and removed his finger, resting his hand gently on Harry's ass. 'Do you want to stop?' He asked quickly. 'We don't have to do this.'

Harry took Severus' face in his hands. 'I want to do this.' He said seriously.

'Yes?'

'Yeah.' Harry confirmed again.

Severus visibly relaxed and kissed Harry firmly. 'Well alright then.' He said with a smirk, and resumed his gentle preparations, inserting one slick finger and then the next, moving them in and out at a slow steady pace until Harry was practically begging for more.

'Severus?' Harry moaned.

'Mmmm?' Severus murmured in Harry's ear as he pressed himself up against his body.

'I want you.' Harry whispered, reaching out and grabbing Severus's erection, stroking him firmly. 'Now.'

Severus smiled and kissed Harry soundly, moving down his body gently before taking him in his mouth for a few moments.

Harry moaned again as his cock responded, and he quickly pulled Severus up on top of him. 'You're loving this aren't you?' Harry said in frustration looking into Severus's eyes.

Severus smirked. 'Perhaps.' He said softly, before finally entering him slowly, allowing Harry to get used to the feel of him inside.

Harry winced a little at first in discomfort but then a delicious molten feeling began to spread through him as Severus started to move and he found himself moaning loudly again as his own erection grew even further. Then he started to move with Severus matching him thrust for thrust until at last they both came together and collapsed into a sticky mess entangled in each other's arms.

It was several minutes before they either moved or spoke, content to just lie together enjoying the feeling of each other's bodies pressed close together. Severus eventually rolled off Harry and scooped him into his arms, placing Harry's head on his chest and lazily brushing his messy hair from his eyes.

'It's the most wonderful feeling.' Harry said absently after a while. 'I didn't expect that.'

Severus scoffed. 'Yes well it has to be doesn't it? If orgasming wasn't good we wouldn't ever actually have sex would we and the human race would have died out!'

Harry poked Severus in the side. 'Not the orgasm you twit. I'm not so inexperienced that I've never had an orgasm before.'

'What then?' Severus asked, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead.

'That feeling of being so close to another person that there isn't any space between you anymore.' Harry said somewhat sleepily. 'It's the best feeling in the world. We should have done this ages ago.'

Severus didn't respond except to pull Harry a little closer into him before they both fell into a deep and blissful sleep.


	14. The truth is always worth hearing

Harry knew he didn't want to wake up. He knew with every fibre of his being that if he woke up he would regret it. So instead he kept his eyes shut and rolled over on his side, throwing his arm over the warm body lying next to him and snuggling himself in further.

'Good lord you're a leech.' Severus groaned but made no move to pull away.

'Smawat.' Came the muffled reply.

Severus responded by poking Harry in the ribs. 'Wake up.'

'What was that for?' Harry complained slowly dragging his eyes open. 'Can't a man get some sleep around here?' He finally cleared his vision and met Severus' eyes which shone with amusement. It was a very strange expression to see on his face, one that Harry hoped to see more.

'Good morning.' Harry said softly.

Severus leaned forward and kissed him softly. 'Good morning.' He replied. 'Now get up. We need to get back to the ministry.'

Harry rolled over in dismay. 'I was happily asleep and pretending that everything was fine two minutes ago and you had to go ruin it didn't you?'

'It's what I do best.' Severus said drily. 'Besides everything isn't fine and it's pointless pretending otherwise. A quick fuck isn't going to fix the world Harry.'

Harry sat up feeling all of a sudden a strange sense of uncertainty and rejection not to mention irritation. 'Is that all last night was to you?' He asked quietly. 'Because as I recall it wasn't exactly quick, and it also wasn't just "a fuck"'.

'Don't go turning into a thirteen year old girl on me Potter, it doesn't suit you.' Severus snapped. 'No it was neither quick nor just a fuck, but I'm not assuming that it was the most earth shattering life changing event of the century either.'

'Speak for yourself.' Harry muttered petulantly, yet somehow he felt better.

'I was.' Severus said, and then brought his hand down in a sharp smack on Harry's ass. 'Now time to get up before I change my mind and decide to keep you in bed all day.'

Harry sat up with a smirk on his face. 'Well now I'm definitely not getting up.'

Severus pulled himself out of bed and stood towering over Harry. 'Let me ask you a question. Are you feeling sore today?'

Harry considered this. 'Yes rather, but in a good way.'

'Can you imagine how sore you'd be tomorrow if we went at it all day today?' Severus asked.

'Yeah okay, I guess you have a point.' Harry grumbled. In truth almost all of his muscles ached, but he wasn't lying when he said it was in a fantastic way.

'Go get in the shower Harry, I'll see you in the kitchen when you're done.' Severus said before heading into his adjoining bathroom and closing the door firmly behind him. Within a few moments Harry heard the water running and almost decided to head in there and join him, but he didn't want to push it. He could already scarcely believe that last night had happened, and for some reason he felt as though this fledgling relationship was already on shaky ground. They had both been through so much, Severus especially. Harry didn't want to push the man too far before he was ready.

So instead he sighed and pulled himself out of bed. Severus was right he was sore, and as he stiffly headed towards the guest bathroom he fervently hoped that no one at the ministry would ask him why he was moving so stiffly.

Thankfully the hot shower worked wonders and by the time he and Severus were headed out Harry felt much better. Like last night Severus had simply taken his hand and apparated them both right out of his kitchen. When they arrived Severus let go of his hand but not before giving it a gentle squeeze and running his thumb along Harry's knuckles.

Harry's heart skipped a beat, and his smile widened.

'Get that smile off your face.' Severus hissed at him. 'This is hardly the time or the place to be smiling like a lunatic.'

'I can't help it.' Harry said. He felt more alive than he had in years. 'I can't think of a reason not to smile right now.'

'Serial killer, targeting you and your loved ones remember?' Severus reminded him.

His words had the desired effect. Harry's smile left his face quickly, and the guilt he had felt the night before returned to him full force. 'I remember why I hated you so much before.' He frowned. 'You suck all the fun out of life.'

'While normally I'd agree with you in this instance I think that's an unfair statement to make. I'm not the one murdering people Potter, I'm actually trying to stop it remember?' Severus said with a small smile.

'Yeah whatever.' Harry muttered. 'Let's go.' He stomped across the floor of the Ministry Atrium leaving Severus behind him shaking his head slightly.

They were the first to arrive with the exception of Bennett who was leaning up against the table and staring at the wall where she had spellotaped the contents of the case. She had updated it to reflect the recent details by writing on the wall in what appeared to be a black permanent marker.

'I didn't realise petty vandalism was your thing Agent Bennett.' Severus drawled, crossing his arms and staring at her.

'I'm fairly sure that should you wish to you could wipe this wall clean with a sweep your arm so I'm not hugely concerned.' Bennett replied without looking at him.

'I'm sure it would take more than a simple sweep of my arm.' Severus replied.

'Yeah like you might actually have to take your wand out first maybe?' Harry added, elbowing Severus.

'Only maybe.' Severus said under his breath.

'At any rate she's hardly doing permanent damage.' Harry said and went to stand next to Bennett who still hadn't broken her gaze.

'So what else do we know?' Harry asked. 'Did the autopsy results come in?'

'Yes but if you don't mind I'll wait until the rest of the team arrives to discuss the results.' Bennett said.

'I assume you haven't added them to this mess yet then?' Severus asked harshly, gesturing to the wall and glaring at Bennett and Harry.

Harry raised his eyes in question at Severus' glare, but Severus just shook his head. Harry really had no idea why Severus disliked Bennett so much but really he was being quite rude to the woman. Worse than usual.

'No not yet.' Bennett replied, clearly unfazed by Severus' tone.

'We can wait.' Harry said. 'So you really find staring at this stuff helpful hey?'

'Sometimes.' Bennett said. 'If I look at it long enough something usually pops out at me.'

'Any luck so far?' Harry asked.

'Some.'

'But none you're gonna share with us?' Harry asked nudging her slightly.

Bennett finally turned away from to wall to look at him. 'Not yet.' She said with a smile.

Harry suddenly felt a sharp stinging along his elbow and stood up quickly rubbing his arm. 'Owww!'

'What's wrong?' Bennett asked.

Harry looked at Severus who was glaring at him as if he was still in Hogwarts and had just exploded his cauldron in a potions class. Suddenly he just knew that his stinging arm was a result of Severus, who simply lifted his eyebrows in a challenge to out him.

Harry returned Severus' glare and moved away from Bennett to sit at the opposite end of the table.

'Nothing, I'm fine.' He said sharply. 'Although I can't say the same for Snape. He's looking rather green.' He added meaningfully.

Bennett looked from one to the other quickly, but chose to remain silent.

Severus tilted his head slightly as he regarded Harry, and his expression softened ever so slightly before he sat down opposite him.

The rest of the team arrived soon after and Harry leaned forward across the table. 'Jealously does not become you.' He said in a low voice. 'Looks like I'm not the only one acting like a thirteen year old.'

Severus just looked at him unapologetically, and Harry wondered for just a moment just what he had got himself into.

Prewitt then cleared his throat and the meeting began.

'Okay Bennett what did your muggle aupopsy find?' He asked.

Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes.

'We found a few things.' Bennett started, standing from her chair and moving towards the wall with her permanent marker in hand. 'It's too early to tell if the results will make a difference to the case or not. At the very least they give us further insight into the killers mind.'

'And these results are what exactly?' Severus drawled.

Bennett glared at him seemingly having had enough of his attitude, and Harry had a very strong impression of a tiger facing off against a venomous snake. He wasn't sure which he'd put his money on.

'It wasn't the axe to the head that killed him.' She stated. 'His head was removed post mortem.'

'So what did kill him?' Zabini asked.

'He was injected with a toxin. We found a needle mark in his left arm. As yet we aren't one hundred percent sure but the prelim toxicology report seems to suggest it was a lethal dose of a drug called Ketamine.' Bennett said. 'In addition and what's more concerning is that we also found traces of a drug called Scopolamine.'

'Why is that more concerning?' Harry asked.

'Because Ketamine will certainly kill you if a high enough dose is administered but trace amounts of Scopolamine won't. It's a relatively new drug and the effects are varied and alarming. It's usually used to treat motion sickness.' Bennett said with a frown.

'That is weird.' Harry said. 'Would trace amounts even have an effect?'

Bennett shrugged her shoulders. 'I don't know. It depends on a number of factors. It appears as if the Scopolamine was administered first and then the ketamine. But we only found one needle mark so the scopolamine may have been administered first, possibly several days prior to the Ketamine or through a different method.'

'May have been?' Jones asked. 'How will we know for sure? And what other methods are there for administering these muggle curses?'

'Potions.' Severus said. 'Muggle potions is a more appropriate term.'

Jones just gave Severus a withering stare. 'Potions then. How will we know for sure? You can't even be sure that it was this Ketamine thing that killed him.'

'Not yet no. But the preliminary results certainly suggest it was the Ketamine.' Bennett said firmly. 'Unfortunately it will be several weeks until we know for absolute sure.'

'Several weeks?' Zabini said in disbelief. 'Several weeks! We don't have several days let alone weeks.'

'I realise that.' Bennett said, plainly irritated. 'Which is why I rushed the prelim results. Nine times out of ten the final result matches the prelim result but we muggles don't have access to magic and can't instantly will things we wish into existence!'

'I think it would be best if we assume that these results are correct.' Prewitt stated. 'We have little choice in the matter. Thank you Bennett for rushing these results, once again you have demonstrated that muggle technology has its uses.'

'You're welcome.' Bennett said tightly.

'Is there anything else you discovered?' Prewitt asked.

Bennett nodded. 'Early this morning I did some research into Scopolamine. If the right dose is administered it can alter a person's memory. It also incapacitates a person without making them fall unconscious. You basically will do anything asked.'

Harry widened his eyes. 'A muggle imperious curse.' He said. 'That pretty much what you're saying yeah?'

'I'm saying that if the correct dose of Scopolamine was administered to a person then that person could fall into a semi-conscious state where they would do whatever they were told and then not remember a thing afterwards.' Bennett said.

'So yes.' Severus said. 'I think we've found how he's managed to subdue powerful witches and wizards.'

'That's my thinking yes.' Bennett concurred. 'I suspect the Scopolamine was administered first, and some time prior to death. Hence there only being trace amounts found.'

'How else can this imperius potion be administered?' Zabini asked. 'It's not like anyone would just allow themselves to be stuck with a needle voluntarily, and I can't see them all being stupid enough to drink a potion either.'

'It's called Scopolamine.' Bennett said patiently. 'It is odourless, tasteless and can be dropped into a drink, as well as injected and most disturbingly there have even been reports of it being blown into victim's faces.'

'Right' Zabini said slowly. 'So that sounds fairly easy then.' He added, sitting back with a slightly horrified look on his face.

Bennett just nodded, and the room lapsed into silence.

'Hermione!' Harry exclaimed suddenly.

Five pairs of eyes turned on him in confusion.

'What about her?' Prewitt asked.

'Neither she nor Ron remembered anything about the attack on them, and their wards were down.' Harry said. 'The killer must have poisoned them with Scopolamine and then asked them to drop the wards. That's why they don't remember anything and why there was no trace of magic!'

'That makes sense.' Bennett said.

'Can you test them?' Harry asked. 'So we know for sure?'

'I can have them tested yes, but it's quite possible that the drug will have left their systems by now.' Bennett said.

'Do it anyway.' Prewitt said quickly. 'If there are still traces left in their systems then it at the very least will add some evidence to support this theory.'

'Okay.' Bennett said. 'That's all from me. The autopsy didn't provide any other useful information.'

'So to sum up you're suggesting that the killer drugs his victims with Scopolamine, then has them remove wards or whatever else he wants and then kills them in whatever way takes his fancy.' Prewitt said.

Bennett nodded. 'That's correct. He could even have them kill themselves if he wished to.'

'That's a horrible thought.' Harry said. 'But not likely is it? The other deaths were all violent and done in different ways weren't they? He doesn't have just one method of killing.'

'This is the first time a body has been subjected to a muggle autopsy.' Severus pointed out. 'It's possible that all his victims were actually killed using a lethal dose of Ketamine and then the rest of the damage was done post mortem.'

'So he could have just one preferred method of murder?' Harry confirmed.

'Yes.' Bennett said.

'There's no way to be able to test that now is there?' Jones asked.

'Yes there is.' Bennett confirmed. 'But we would have to autopsy all of the victims and run toxicology tests on all of them.'

'But most of them have been buried already!' Zabini protested.

'They'd have to be exhumed.' Bennett said. 'Which is very traumatic for the families of the victims to deal with. '

'I can only imagine.' Prewitt murmered.

'It is however the only way to be sure.' Bennett said.

'Can we just pick one of the victims to test the theory?' Harry said.

'You mean only exhume one of them?' Prewitt asked.

'Elias Fink was a recluse; did he even have a family?' Harry asked.

'Not that I'm aware of.' Prewitt said quickly.

'If we exhume his body and the results are positive we could assume that the others may be too without having to dig them up. It would save their families grief.' Harry pointed out.

'It's a thought.' Prewitt said.

Severus frowned. 'I'm not sure it's ethical to choose his body to exhume simply because he doesn't have a family to fight for his rights.'

Harry suddenly could see that Severus saw a little of himself in Elias Fink, and that saddened him to no end. He vowed that he wouldn't let Severus end up like that. 'Severus if it was you what would you want?' He asked carefully. 'Would you want us to catch the person who murdered you? Would you want to stay in the ground when your remains could help solve the case?'

Severus looked into Harry's eyes. 'You know what I would want.' He said. 'That doesn't mean his wishes would be the same as mine.'

Harry nodded in understanding, while continuing to stare into those dark eyes. Something had just changed between them, and Harry didn't know if it was good or bad.

'Let's do it.' Prewitt said. 'I think we need to know for sure.'

Harry looked away from Severus and tried to gather his thoughts and still his mind. He suddenly wasn't at all sure that last night had been a good idea, at least not while they were still working this case. There was just so much history between them and so much pain that Harry had no idea of. Severus' walls were well formed and very high. He wasn't sure he had the strength to break them down. The man confused the hell out of him.

'I'll speak to Kingsley about how we might go about this.' Prewitt said. 'I'm not sure it's ever been done before. Bennett can you please find a muggle healer person to perform this autopsy?'

Bennett nodded. 'I just need to step outside and make a call' she said pulling a phone out of her pocket as she stood to leave the room.

'Take a five minute break people.' Prewitt said, before leaving the room presumably to try and speak to the Minister.

'What is that?' Zabini asked curiously eye Bennett in the hallway with her phone pressed to her ear.

'It's a muggle way of sending messages to each other.' Harry said. 'It's called a mobile phone.'

'They can speak to each other through that little box?' Zabini asked as he watched Bennett pace up and down the corridor speaking animatedly into her phone. 'That's rather clever.'

'In actual fact I think they are far cleverer than we are.' Harry said. 'Not having magic has forced them to find solutions to things wizards have never even considered.'

'I wouldn't go that far.' Zabini said with a sneer.' They're just muggles.'

Harry sighed but didn't press the point. It wasn't worth getting angry for. Instead he wandered over to the wall of evidence and started trying to see what Bennett saw when looking at it.

His eyes roamed over the photographs but he didn't linger on the gruesome images. Except for when he reached the newest set of photographs that had been added from the most recent murder of Ira Benedict. Something caught his eye in the one of the photographs of the body. It was a long shot that encompassed the whole area. Off to the side caught in what appeared to be a stray branch lying on the ground was a tiny piece of paper, perhaps even rubbish that was blowing slightly in the breeze.

'What's this?' He asked Jones who had come to stand beside him. 'This piece of parchment or rubbish what was it? I assume it's recorded somewhere?'

'Have you found something Potter?' Severus asked from across the room.

'I'm not sure.' Harry said slowly as he once again looked closely at the photograph. For some reason that parchment looked very familiar to him.

Jones looked closer. 'It looks like it's just a piece of rubbish.' he said. 'We collected everything from the crime scene no matter how small so it should be in our evidence room.'

Harry looked at him. 'Take me there.' He said quickly.

Jones nodded. 'Zabini let the rest of the team know we've gone down to evidence okay?'

Zabini just nodded; distracted by the case file he was reading.

'I'm coming with you.' Severus said.

The evidence room was located a short flight of stairs and a corridor away. Jones quickly located the box labelled Miscellaneous or Most Likely Unimportant Evidence for the Murder of Ira Benedict and pulled it to a table in the middle of the room.

'Have at it Potter.' He said.

Harry delved into the box quickly followed by both Severus and Jones. Most of the evidence was indeed rubbish and it took some time for Harry to find what he was looking for.

It was a small piece of parchment that had clearly been torn from the top of a larger piece. Harry turned it over with shaking fingers and read what was on the front aloud.

'You have to be odd to be number one.' He read.

'What does it mean?' Jones asked.

'You're white as a sheet Harry.' Severus said. 'You recognise it don't you?'

Harry nodded. 'It's a Doctor Seuss quote.' He said shakily.

'A what?' Jones asked.

'He's a muggle writer, he writes children's stories.'

'What does this have to do with you or the murders?' Severus asked.

'It's not just the words itself, I recognise this parchment.' Harry whispered. 'This is a piece of my introduction to Magical Defence course guide.'

'This is yours?' Jones said. 'Are you sure?'

Harry nodded. 'It's incomplete obviously, just the top of my course guide. I give it to all my students before they start with me.'

'How the hell did it end up at a murder scene?' Jones wondered.

'Either it's an unfortunate coincident or the killer left it there deliberately.' Severus said.

Harry shrugged. 'I don't think it was deliberately left there.'

'So you think it was a coincident?' Severus said in disbelief. 'I find that hard to believe.'

'No I think he left it by accident.' Harry said. 'If he wanted me to find it he would have made a feature of it. It wouldn't be left on the ground like a piece of rubbish. I think he was carrying it with him and he left it behind without realising.'

'Perhaps.' Severus said with a frown. 'That quote must mean a lot to him if he carried it with him.'

Harry just nodded.

'You know what this most likely means don't you?' Severus asked quietly.

Harry just nodded again.

'The killer is one of your students.'


	15. Give me these moments back

Harry just didn't know how to respond to this new development. He found it very difficult to believe that one of his students would be capable of these murders, not to mention that he really was very particular about vetting them for any kind of dangerous behaviour or history.

He and Severus had gone carefully through all of his student background records over and over again but nothing had really stood out to them. They had narrowed the list down to those who had slightly shady pasts or who had slightly dodgy relatives. Harry had thrown one of them into to mix simply because he had given him a weird feeling when they first met.

Bennett had reminded them that it's sometimes the case that a serial killer could be completely normal to those around them even their closest friends and in fact they were often quite charming.

This put Harry in mind of Voldemort, who as Tom Riddle was a charming well-spoken highly intelligent boy beloved by most teachers and headmaster alike. When he voiced this to Severus he had scoffed slightly.

'Harry the Dark Lord was always dark. Anyone who couldn't see that a mile away was an idiot.' He had said, then abruptly changed the subject. Harry chose not to point out that Severus had never met Tom Riddle the boy so really he couldn't say that for sure.

He was quickly learning that under no circumstances would Severus speak about Voldemort, not even in order to assist with the case. It was quite frustrating but he supposed he understood why, or at least he was trying to.

'We've been over this a million times now.' Harry sighed angrily, slamming his quill down on the table. 'I don't see what else we can do, I can't whip new information up out of thin air!'

'Do calm yourself down Potter.' Severus drawled. 'I know you're frustrated but throwing a hissy fit isn't going to help anyone.'

'We don't even know for sure that it IS one of my ex-students.' Harry snapped. 'That's just a theory!'

'Well we have to investigate all theories thoroughly so stop complaining please.' Severus snapped back, well and truly frustrated himself.

'I know I'm sorry.' Harry said softening suddenly. 'I just feel responsible.'

'Which is why you're secretly hoping it isn't one of your students?' Severus questioned. 'Because if it's not it would absolve you?'

Harry shrugged.

'You know this isn't your fault Harry. Why must you insist on feeling guilt for something that clearly isn't yours to bear?' Severus asked seriously.

'Perhaps it isn't my fault but it sure is something I should have seen coming. My background checks should have been more stringent.'

'You were teaching students not training Ministry spies. Your security checks were fine. Besides say you did have better security checks and therefore didn't take on the killer as a student he STILL would have murdered someone eventually you know. The only difference is we might not have this lead, and he may have fixated on someone else as his target rather than you.' Severus pointed out. 'Imagine that?'

Harry shook his head. 'As arrogant as this sounds, no I can't really imagine that. My whole life has been all about being the fixation of serial killers, it's unfathomable to me that someone else might be the target for a change.'

'Well at least you're used to it.' Severus said. 'And you're right.'

'Right about what?' Harry asked.

'It is arrogant.'

'Git.' Harry said with a smile.

'Personally I'm glad it is you. No one else could cope with it as well.' Severus said. 'Although I confess having you possibly in danger again isn't the greatest feeling in the world. Especially now.'

'Why now?' Harry asked with a smile.

'Well I can't fuck you again if you're dead Harry, and I did rather enjoy it the first time.'

Harry laughed. 'That was the last thing I expected you to say just then!'

Severus shrugged. 'I’m happy to surprise you.'

'For the record I am very much looking forward to fucking you again too.'

'Obviously.' Severus said. 'When two people have sex if it's good they're going to do it again sooner or later, and we both know it was good.'

Harry leaned across the table and pulled Severus to him kissing him passionately. 'Sooner rather than later please.' He said, pulling back with a smile.

Severus rose his eyebrows. 'Thank goodness we decided to work here instead of the ministry.' He said gesturing to Harry's kitchen. 'That would have raised some eyebrows.'

Harry looked back down to the student file he had been looking at. 'After your ridiculous behaviour yesterday I'm fairly certain that at least Bennett has figured it out for herself.'

'I despise that woman.' Severus said darkly. 'I also hate the way you fawn over her. She's just like any other muggle you know, she's not special.'

'Jealousy really is an issue for you isn't it?' Harry said thoughtfully. 'You know there's really no need right? I don't want to be with anyone else.'

Severus' expression lightened slightly but he didn't say anything. 'You have such little experience Harry, you probably have no real idea what you want. Or who. People change their minds quickly.'

Harry put his file and quill down again and looked closely at Severus. 'Don't presume to know what I'm feeling and thinking.' He said firmly. 'You know I'm an honest person and I'm not going to tell you anything that isn't true. I may not have the same level of physical experience as you do however I probably have more emotional experience. I know when I have feelings for someone and I know when I don't. I also know when I never will. I don't have feelings for Bennett and never will, I DO have feelings for you and I intend to continue acting on them until you tell me otherwise which I personally hope you don't ever do. Now can we stop all this and get back to the task at hand? We have to provide this report to the ministry tonight and I want to get back to your place in time to spend hours exploring your body and still get a good night's sleep!'

Severus shook his head. 'You're impossible.' He said with a smirk.

'Impossibly attractive.'

'Indeed.' Severus agreed. 'Among other things.'

…

A week later they still didn't have much more to go on.

Their list of names consisted of just five people. Two of which they quickly discovered had alibi's for at least three of the murders which counted them out immediately. The other three were foreigners so it could take some time to locate them and there were some delicate diplomatic issues to work through first. Two of the three had violent incidents in their pasts, both had volatile personalities that could fit Bennett's profile. The third one was the one who had given Harry a slightly bad feeling when he had first met him. Joshua Andrews was from Bulgaria (born in London and then raised in Bulgaria) and had attended Durmstrang. He had been Harry's student three years ago and in their first meeting Harry had just felt that there was something slightly wrong, although he couldn't seem to pin point why.

What he did know was that Joshua had actually been a model student, hardworking, thoughtful and appreciative. Harry knew what Bennett had said about serial killers appearing completely normal on the outside but he just couldn't possibly see how Joshua would have been capable of these sorts of crimes. He would have happily removed him from the list except Severus had refused.

'Harry you need to trust your instincts. If this guy gave you a bad feeling for even a second he needs to be on the list.'

'Since when have you ever trusted my instincts?' Harry asked, eyebrows raised.

Severus glared at him. 'I've always trusted them, unless of course it was in regards to a potions class. In which case never.'

'Never?' Harry protested, slightly hurt. 'I got quite good at potions by the end.'

'Yes you did. When you were following MY instincts.' Severus growled.

'Whatever.' Harry said. 'Fine. Joshua stays on the list.'

And so their completed list of five names was all they had to go on. Thankfully Bennett had been fairly pleased with only five people to check out. She had stated quickly that the less they had to search through the quicker it would be. It was unfortunate that three of them were international but that's all there was to it. They now just had to jump through hoops to get them checked out.

Severus was concerned that this would be another dead end and that these leads wouldn't amount to anything. As the first two suspects were eliminated this feeling grew stronger and Bennett assured him that these things took time but that something always shook out.

Severus had simply grunted in response; despite their conversation the week earlier Severus seemed determined to hate Bennett no matter what. It infuriated Harry but that's all there was to it. He knew by now that Severus was as stubborn as a mule.

They were still staying at Severus' place, as they both deemed Harry's as too risky. Harry had sent his cat to stay with Ron and Hermione (who were only too happy to look after him and had cooed over Sorell so much that Harry had rolled his eyes in disgust). While Harry just wanted to increase the wards and security so he could have his home back to himself he did also see the reasoning behind leaving an avenue open for more contact with the killer. However much it despised and terrified him he could see that the more contact they had the more likely they were to actually catch the fucker.

And so every few days Harry would return to his home to pick up some more of his things (always with Severus who refused point blank to let him go anywhere alone anymore) and to see if there was anything amiss.

This particular evening was after a long day at the ministry where very little had been accomplished. In fact the only news they had received was the preliminary results of Ron and Hermione's toxicology reports. Both had shown trace amounts of scopolamine. So that was something at least.

Harry was cold and wet through with the rain that had been pouring down all day and all he wanted was to quickly grab a couple of sets of dry clothes and run his eyes over his place. He wanted to be in and out within ten minutes before heading home to curl up in bed with Severus.

Unfortunately this plan changed when he noticed the large envelope sitting just out of the rain on his doorstep.

'Are you expecting anything?' Severus asked slowly pulling Harry to a stop by his elbow.

'Of course not.' Harry said. 'And if I were it wouldn't be to my actual home.'

'So we can assume?'

'I'd say so.' Harry said nervously. 'I hate this.'

'I do too.' Severus replied softly, running his hand through Harry's wet hair and smoothing it back slightly from his forehead. 'Do you want me to get it?'

'No it's okay I'll do it. We should get inside anyway.' Harry said quickly heading to the door and hurriedly opening it. He pulled out his wand and levitated the envelope into the kitchen.

Both he and Severus followed the envelope to the table, and Severus quickly cast a drying spell on their clothes so they stopped dripping all over the floor.

'Better just get it over with.' Severus said tersely.

'As long as it's not another fucking deadline.' Harry said, and waved his wand over the envelope to open it.

Out floated a note and several muggle photographs. Harry supposed he should have read the note first but the photographs were far more disturbing and neither he nor Severus could tear their eyes from them as they floated through the air in front of them.

'Oh my god.' Harry whispered, covering his mouth with both his hands, tears threatening to leak out of his eyes.

The photographs were of himself and Severus that depicted their fledging relationship in horrifying detail. The killer had clearly been watching them for some time now. The most disturbing of the photos were from inside Severus' bedroom and were terribly graphic. Harry could barely begin to wonder how they could have been taken without their knowledge.

Severus seemed to be frozen on the spot as his eyes roamed over the hideous photographs. For one moment he felt thankful that they were not wizard photos and therefore weren't moving, but even so they were still completely confronting and awful to look at. He couldn't move as a sick feeling spread throughout his entire body.

Harry had a rather more physical reaction and darted to the sink where he doubled over and vomited; emptying his stomach completely until he was just retching over and over. After a time he felt a warm hand rubbing circles on his back and felt Severus pulling his messy hair away from his sweat drenched face.

Eventually the retching subsided and he let himself drop to the floor in front of the sink, exhausted. Severus sank down with him and pulled Harry into his arms. 'I'd say it's going to be okay but we both know that would be a lie.' He said flatly.

'We have to get out of here. I can't come here again. I can't ever be here again.' Harry mumbled.

'Let's go.' Severus said.

'We can't ever go back to your place either Severus.' Harry said desperately, clutching the front of Severus' robes and wondering if the killer was watching them right at this moment.

'I know.' Severus said quietly, and stood up, hoisting Harry with him.

Severus shielded Harry from the mess pf photographs that had landed haphazardly on the kitchen table with his body, but Harry pushed him away. 'The note. We need to get the note.' He said breathlessly.

Severus plucked the note from the table with deft fingers and then lifted his wand waving it over the photographs incinerating them.

'Severus you can't. That's evidence! You can't destroy evidence!' Harry said in horror.

'There is no way in hell that those photographs will ever end up on the fucking conference room wall as evidence.' Severus spat angrily. 'What's done is done. Let's go.' He pulled Harry close to him and ushered him out the door. Harry locked it and then cast a series of charms and wards. 'He's never coming back Severus.' He said slowly. 'No one is.'

Severus simply nodded before Harry took his hand and they turned on the spot.

…

'Where are we?' Severus asked with a frown.

'It's the first place I thought of.' Harry confessed.

'And where is that?' Severus asked again. They were standing in the middle of a road running through what appeared to be the most boring street in all of England.

'Privet Drive.' Harry said dully.

'It's changed.' Severus said slowly. 'I didn't recognise it. What on earth made you think of here?'

'Well honestly it's the last place anyone would expect to find us isn't it?' Harry asked.

'I suppose so.' Severus didn't really know what else to say, he felt oddly uncomfortable. 'Where is our final destination can I ask? I assume you don't intend for us to stay at your relative's home?'

'Merlin no.' Harry said. 'Lets find a hotel.'

'A hotel in Privet Drive?'

'Obviously not, but there is one a few streets away. I suggest we move out of the middle of the road yes?' Harry said pulling Severus by the arm to the pavement.

'You know we can't hide forever Harry. We have to go back to the ministry tomorrow.' Severus said casually flicking his wand replacing his wizard robes with muggle clothing.

'I know.' Harry said. 'If I'm being honest we probably should go right now but I can't. I can't wipe those images from my head Severus. I can't deal with this right now…'

Severus reached out and touched his arm gently. 'I know. It's alright.'

Harry looked at him. Severus was wearing black pants, a black fitted shirt and black coat. 'Muggle clothes suit you.' He said. 'Although it wouldn't kill you to introduce some colour into your wardrobe.

'I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.' Severus grit his teeth. 'I do NOT look good dressed as a bloody muggle.'

Harry just shrugged. He preferred muggle clothing and almost never wore wizard robes but knew not to push Severus. Especially after the night they'd had.

The hotel they had checked into (after confounding the desk clerk as they didn't exactly have any muggle money on them) was simple but clean. Harry closed the door behind the two of them and immediately cast a series of spells on the door and the surrounding walls.

'I think that's probably enough warding Harry. I doubt that anyone will find us here.' Severus said seriously. 'Unless of course there's a tracking spell on us or something.'

Harry looked at him in alarm. He hadn't considered that.

'Relax there isn't one, I scanned us both when we arrived in Privet Drive.' Severus said.

'You could have told me!' Harry said. 'I didn't even think of a tracking spell.'

'Honestly I don't think these wards are even all that needed, but at this point it’s good to take precautions.'

'Yeah well I learned long ago to always assume that the people looking for you will find you if they want to. History has certainly proved that in my case.'

Severus didn't say anything. Instead he removed his coat and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. He could not have looked more out of place.

Harry finished the warding and sat next to him. 'I haven't cast wards like these since the war.' He said.

'Did Hermione teach you?' Severus asked quietly.

'You know that she did.' Harry replied. 'Both Ron and I were far below her standard and there's no way we would have survived that year without her.'

Severus nodded. 'She truly is exceptional. She always was.'

'It's nice for you to actually acknowledge that. I'm impressed.'

'Don't be.'

Harry sighed. 'Where's the note? We have to read it. You know we do.'

'Are you sure?' Severus asked.

'Yeah. Let’s get it over with.'

Severus pulled out the note and unfolded it onto the bed. They both leaned forward to read it.

_I bet you thought no one knew didn't you?_

_I must say I've enjoyed watching you Harry, you put on quite a show._

_It's nearly your turn Harry._

_I wonder; will you be ready for me?_

'I think I might throw up again.' Harry said, the blood running cold through his veins. 'How long do you think he's been watching us for?'

'Probably a long time, this whole thing feels very well planned to me. I can't believe how foolish and reckless we were in not suspecting he was watching us.'

'What do you think he means it's nearly my turn?' Harry asked in a small voice. To Severus he almost sounded like he was eleven years old again.

'It means you're most definitely in danger, and you have to be ready for him. Whatever the fuck that means.' Severus said bitterly.

'I'm scared.' Harry said softly.

'I'd be worried if you weren't.'

Harry leaned into Severus and put his head on his shoulder. 'I'm not going to let him take this away from us.' He said softly. 'You're mine. I've never felt more alive than the way I feel with you and even though those photos made me feel so sick and so violated, I won't let him beat me. I won't let him take this away from us.'

Severus pulled Harry close to him and kissed him deeply. 'No one can take this from us.' He whispered. 'No one.'

Much later, when they were both pretending to sleep, their naked bodies pressed close to each other under the blankets, Severus leaned forward and kissed the back of Harry's head. 'I promise I will _never_ let anyone hurt you.' He whispered. 'I won't fail you this time.'

Harry kept his breathing even despite having heard Severus clearly. There was so much he wanted to say to the man lying next to him, but not like this. Not in this situation. That was a conversation for when this was all over. That was a conversation for the future.

One he vowed to have.


	16. Brave new world

Looking back on it years later, Harry could never quite believe how foolish he had been. After all the warnings and repeated personal attacks he should have seen it coming. He had spent his whole life being the victim of Voldemort's attacks, being constantly put in danger. Why he expected it to be any different as an adult was beyond him. Perhaps he was reckless since defeating Voldemort, perhaps he was overly arrogant. Whatever it was he really didn't consider himself to be in any actual danger. He was more worried for the rest of the team, for Ron and Hermione and of course Severus but for some unfathomable reason he had little concern for himself.

This turned out to be his greatest mistake.

One week had passed since Harry and Severus had fled Harry's home in the wake of the killer's latest communication. They had eventually headed back to the Ministry, although Severus was all for staying away permanently, Harry convinced him that to finish this once and for all they did actually need to catch the killer. Which meant heading back and handing the evidence in to the team.

They discussed what to say about the note and the photographs and decided to simply pretend that the photographs had never existed and all they were sent was the note. The team seemed to accept this for the most part, however Bennett had looked closely at them both as if she could tell they were lying but didn't call them out on it.

One thing they unanimously agreed upon (Severus included) was that Harry should not leave the ministry again until the killer had been apprehended as he was quite clearly the next target.

He was placed in protective custody which meant he had two junior auror’s following him everywhere and remaining stationed outside his quarters overnight. Harry called them Bert and Ernie (he couldn't remember their actual names) and they made it impossible to have any sort of privacy whatsoever. As a result Harry had barely seen or spoken to Severus properly in days and he missed him desperately.

Both he and Severus were given quarters in the Diplomatic Relations department of the ministry. Harry had no idea that this department had even existed much less had accommodation. Severus had scoffed saying where else did he expect internationally prominent witches and wizards to stay when they visited?

Harry hadn't replied, as he was too irritated. In fact while the quarters he was in were lovely and expensive and luxurious he got sick of the other residents on his floor pointing at his scar and talking to each other in a variety of foreign languages. It was dead annoying. It was also annoying that while Severus had quarters here too his were on a different floor and he didn't have to have a personal guard.

After a whole week of feeling like a prisoner he was starting to go slightly crazy.

Perhaps that's why he had done it.

He just wanted some fresh air. Not fake fresh air like what was pumped through his fake garden morning and night to create the effect of a slight breeze, no he wanted real air. He wanted five minutes where he was completely alone.

Bert and Ernie weren't the smartest of auror’s. In fact Harry wondered how on earth they had made the required NEWT levels let alone survived the rigorous Auror training program. However they had managed it somehow. They were way too easy to slip past thanks to his invisibility cloak which he now carried with him everywhere (and a tiny confundus charm), and eventually he had managed to get outside for a few minutes of fresh air.

It was 1am and the street outside was practically deserted. Harry thought perhaps he would just slip off to a muggle pub and have himself a quick drink. Where was the harm in that?

He quickly removed his invisibility cloak, shrunk it to the size of a handkerchief and stuffed it into his back pocket. After casting a charm to mask his identity he quickly headed to the nearest pub revelling in the fresh rain that was falling on his face.

Inside the pub it was dark and dingy and Harry quickly headed to the bar and ordered a drink, sitting casually on a bar stool and leaning back to observe the atmosphere.

The bartender placed the drink in front of him and turned away. Harry took a single sip and screwed up his face slightly. He preferred fire whisky to Vodka that's for sure.

That was the last coherent thought he had before he blacked out.

…

When he woke up he was in darkness, the type of complete blackness that is so disorienting you can barely tell which way is up. After a few moments of complete panic he managed to settle his breathing somewhat and register a few small details.

He was strapped to a chair. Possibly taped down to it. He had restraints around both his legs, his arms and his torso.

He listened carefully but could hear nothing. There wasn't a scrap of light and he wasn't blindfolded so where ever he was being held it was most likely in a basement, or a room with no windows. He wasn't sure what time it was or how long he had been out for. He had a slight headache but couldn't feel any other kind of pain or discomfort, other than from being taped to a chair.

He took a deep breath and concentrated hard on removing his restraints by magic. Nothing happened. He should have been able to, he had done wandless magic many times before with no issue and occasionally while quite far from his wand.

Harry frowned. There must be something preventing him from casting any magic in this space. His wand wasn't in his pocket where it had been earlier so he had clearly been searched before he was restrained.

Time soon lost all meaning as he remained alert in the darkness, waiting for his captor to make himself known to him. He fought to keep his panic and fright to a minimum and tried to stay as calm and relaxed as possible. Every so often he would once again try to free himself with magic but each time he failed.

Eventually after what felt like hours something happened.

He heard the sound of a door opening behind him and an electric light switch was flicked on illuminating the room in which he was held prisoner. It was a bare room with brick walls and a dirty floor. As he had suspected he was bound to the wooden chair with large amounts of gaffer tape.

'Hello?' he said cautiously. 'Who's there?'

'I guess you aren't as clever as you thought if you haven't already guessed.' A cold harsh voice came from behind him.

Harry tried to still his racing heart and remain in control. He's been in worse situations than this after all. 'I guess I'm not as clever as you then.' He said.

'Don't flatter me.' The voice said. 'It won't help you, you're going to die anyway.'

'Then why haven't you killed me already?' Harry asked.

'Why would I want to kill you straight away? Where's the fun in that? I intend to make you scream first.' The voice said and then the owner moved to stand in front of him. 'Surprise! Did you miss me?'

The man in front of him was in his mid-twenties, tall and slim with sandy brown hair and dark eyes, his nose was slightly turned up as if there was a bad smell under it and he was dressed in plain muggle clothes. Harry's stomach plummeted. How he had hoped that the killer wasn't one of his students but yet the man in front of him he knew very well. It was Joshua Andrews, the very student who had given him the creeps when they first met. Severus was right, often a feeling told you everything.

Harry shook his head. 'I should have known.'

Joshua smiled. 'Yes. You should have. But you didn't.' He stepped close to him and crouched down in front of the chair his eyes level with Harry's. 'I suppose you aren't as wise and powerful as everyone says.'

Harry didn't answer.

'Perhaps this won't be as much fun as I'd hoped.' Joshua drawled.

Harry figured his best chance of survival was to feed his ego and keep him talking. 'What's this about Joshua? You never struck me as a magic hating type. You certainly had to work harder at it than some but you are very talented. And to pull this off you must be even more adept at magic now. After all it's been several years since I worked with you.'

'Trained Potter. You trained me. Don't kid yourself that it was anything else. You taught me more about defence than I'd ever been taught before. Not to mention the dark arts themselves. No one taught me as much as you did. Some might say you made me the man I am today.'

'Nobody would say that Joshua.' Harry said firmly. 'I didn't turn you into a killer.'

'Perhaps.' He agreed cocking his head to one side.

Again Harry remained silent.

'Aren't you going to ask me why?' Joshua asked coyly, pulling a hunting knife from his back pocket and twirling it in his long thin fingers.

'I assume you have a strong desire to tell me.' He said, wetting his lips as his eyes followed the knife in front of him.

'Perhaps we could make it a guessing game?'

Perhaps not. Harry thought, not liking where this was going.

'Why do you think I kill them?' Joshua asked lightly sliding the edge of the knife along the side of Harry's face.

'You hate magic.' Harry said flatly. Not wanting to play by his rules but also not really seeing any other way.

'Obviously.' He drawled. 'But why?'

"I don't know.' Harry said. Because you're insane, he thought.

'A pity.' He said, sounding like it was anything but. He used the knife first to cut Harry's shirt down the middle, exposing his torso. He then sliced straight across Harry's chest opening it leaving an angry red cut in its wake.

It wasn't an overly deep cut but it still hurt like hell, blood streamed down his chest and ran down his stomach in rivulets to pool at the waistband of his jeans. He fought to remain calm, to still his breathing and save his energy but all he could feel was the fire in his chest and a ringing in his ears. He knew this was only the beginning. 'Why don't you tell me then?' He asked through clenched teeth. 'I know you want to.'

'True.' Joshua said, wiping the edge of the knife clean on a ratty rag he had pulled from his pocket. 'You know what makes me different from you Potter?'

Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to ignore the pain in his chest. 'I'm sure that there are a great number of differences between us.'

Joshua came right up close to Harry in a crouch once again, so close that his elbows rested on Harry's knees and he could feel his rancid breath in his face as he spoke. He tried not to gag.

Joshua tilted his head to one side as he regarded him. 'There aren't as many differences between us as you might think.' He stated calmly. He paused and took a step back, standing and regarding Harry once again while twirling the knife in his fingers. 'You and I have a similar background you know?'

Harry remained silent, unsure of where this was going.

'We both had a muggle upbringing. We both had abusive parents, we both didn't know that magic existed until we received our letter to attend school.' He continued. 'You however embraced your new identity while I did not.' He paused. 'Tell me why.'

Harry shook his head. 'I don't know what's inside your brain, I don't know your thoughts and feelings. You tell me why we reacted differently?'

Joshua shook his head in mock disappointment. 'Tut tut, you at least have to make an effort to answer.' He moved out of Harry's eyesight, but he could still hear him somewhere behind him.

When he returned he still had the knife but in his other hand he had a container of salt.

Harry flinched involuntarily.

'Yes you know what's to come now don't you?' Joshua drawled. He shook some salt out onto his hand and then roughly rubbed it into the cut across Harry's chest.

The pain he had felt initially from the cut was nothing compared to the pain he felt now, and he couldn't help but cry out. This was followed up by the pain of another deeper knife slash leaving an X cut into his chest. More salt was added to the wound and he cried out once more.

'Where is your magic now Harry?' Joshua whispered coldly into his ear, while smoothing his hair back. 'It can't save you can it? No matter how much you practice or how many counter spells you know. At the end of the day it doesn't matter how strong or good a wizard you are because magic can't save you. It isn't the answer you think it is, it's only an illusion.'

He now had a wet washcloth that he used to wipe away the blood and salt from Harry's wounds, and he carefully and almost tenderly cleaned him up.

The pain lessened slightly and Harry found that he could break through it, and the fear he was feeling to form coherent thoughts again. 'You've cast some kind of spell on this room haven't you?' He asked. 'So I can't do magic?'

'Correct.'

'If you hate magic so much I'm surprised you'd stoop so low as to use it now.'

'I used it as a means to an end.' Joshua said calmly, still wiping Harry's blood from his chest. 'I couldn't have you escape now could I? I know wandless magic is one of your specialties, despite you always telling me that it can't be done.'

'How very clever of you.' Harry replied, tired of trying to play games when he didn't know the rules.

'Yes well I've been watching you for quite some time. But then you knew that already didn't you?' he said with a sneer. 'How did you like my photographs?'

'I hope you enjoyed the show.' Harry said bitterly while trying to keep the bile from rising in his throat. 'Are you going to tell me the differences between us or are you going to torture me more?'

'There's always plenty of time for torture.' Joshua replied casually. 'As to our differences, I recognised early that there is no difference between Muggles and Wizards. Magic isn't a gift it's just another way to be arrogant, to bully, to torment. You instantly embraced the fact that you were special, that you were better than your muggle relatives. I however quickly discovered that magic didn't make things better it only made them worse. As a child I couldn't do anything about it. As an adult I chose to take matters into my own hands'.

'What makes you think you have the right to take matters into your own hands?' Harry asked. 'You say I thought I was special but isn't this just saying the same for you?'

'What a wonderful rationalisation Harry.' Joshua said once again moving out of sight.

'That's not an answer.' Harry said, desperately trying to stall him.

Joshua returned with a round stone butter dish and what looked like a paint brush. 'I have no need to answer you. You're MY prisoner not the other way around. You do as I say!' He exclaimed angrily the pitch of his voice rising slightly.

Harry stayed silent but refused to lower his eyes. He wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Besides he was fairly resigned to the fact that he most likely going to die here and that he would be tortured substantially before that happened. It didn't matter what he did or said nothing would change that inevitability.

'Now let's get back to it.' Joshua drawled, as he pulled the lid of the butter dish and dipped the paint brush into it. 'Now tell me, why do you think I came to you for tutoring?'

Harry stiffened. He didn't know what was on that brush and he didn't want to…

Joshua held the brush up to just under his nose. 'Answer me.' He snapped.

'The reason most students come to me is to further their defensive spell work.' He said calmly stalling for time. 'Either they are still a student who need extra tuition to pass their NEWTs or they are about to enter the Auror program or for whatever reason just wish to strengthen their defensive spells. When you came to me you expressed a wish to further your defensive skills. You seemed genuine at the time and you passed the background checks I ran on you. As for your reasons for requesting the training I now can only assume that it was an excuse to get closer to me, to learn more about me and discover my weaknesses. Am I right? Was I a target of yours even back then?' He said unable to take his eyes off the paint brush and whatever substance coated it.

'That is rather arrogant of you isn't it?' He said, dipping the paintbrush back inside and withdrawing it again coated in even more of the sticky white substance. 'You're not entirely wrong though. I did target you back then. See I knew that you were the one person who knew not only about defence but also about dark magic itself. I wondered how you felt about it you see and from what you showed me you seem to have a respect for it. Perhaps even a love for it.'

Harry's mind went instantly to Severus, and how they had all assumed as teenagers that Severus loved the dark arts. In truth Harry now agreed that to defeat them you needed to love them a little bit. He had no intention of admitting that though.

'Answer me.' Joshua demanded, and swiped the paintbrush along Harry's arm from the top of his shoulder to just above his elbow.

Harry once again cried out as his skin began immediately to blister and burn. His eyes swam with unshed tears and his whole body tensed with the pain. 'I don't know what you want me to say?!' he cried. 'Are you asking if I saw this coming? Of course I didn't! If I had I would never have bloody taught you a thing! Don't you think I've spent the last months desperately wishing I'd never even started tutoring people?! I wish I'd disappeared completely!'

'That's exactly why I chose you.' Joshua hissed. 'You're arrogance is never ending. That you actually believe it would have made a difference if I'd never come to you. You think you're responsible for this don't you? You think you're so important that I would never have killed anyone if only you have never gone into business? Well here's a news flash for you Potter.' Joshua pulled back Harry's hair roughly and hissed into his face 'YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO ANYONE.'

Harry's vision swam as the pain he was feeling started to consume him and as he looked into Joshua's face his image started to merge with Severus's. No not Severus's, not HIS Severus, but with that of Snape. Snape as he remembered him from school when he was at the height of his bullying. He could see him towering over him, telling him he was just like his father.

Joshua once again dipped the paintbrush into the caustic solution and dragged it this time across Harry's stomach. 'You're paying for that arrogance now aren't you?' He yelled over Harry's renewed screams.

'I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!' Harry managed to scream, though by this stage he couldn't even tell who it was he was screaming at. Once again the paint brush was swiped across his skin and this time the pain was too much and he blacked out.

…

When he woke it was once again to darkness. He could still feel the pain of the wounds Joshua had inflicted on him, but he could feel that they had had been dressed and bandaged.

It was then he realised that this wasn't going to end quickly. If Joshua had dressed and bandaged his injuries he obviously wanted him healthy enough to either be used as bait or to just extend his suffering as long as possible. Either way wasn't going to happen as far as he was concerned. Breathing through the pain Harry turned his whole mind and soul towards escaping.


	17. Come to me

Severus was most unimpressed to be woken up in the middle of the night by a furious knocking on his door. He dragged himself out of bed and threw his night robe on quickly, knotting it at the waist before heading to open the door to his suite.

Whoever was foolish enough to wake him at 3am would without a doubt be feeling his anger in a few seconds. He threw the door open and a young man practically fell through the doorway.

‘Do you have any idea what time it is?’ Severus asked icily, pulling himself up to look as menacing as possible while only wearing a nightshirt and robe.

‘I’m so sorry Sir.’ The man said breathlessly, Severus now recognised him as one of Harry’s security team, the one he’d dubbed Ernie.

‘Don’t be sorry just tell me why on earth you deemed it necessary.’ Severus snapped feeling a slight sliver of alarm race through him.

‘It’s Mr Potter Sir, he’s gone!’ Ernie said frantically. ‘We were hoping you knew where?’

‘What do you mean he’s gone?’ Severus said. ‘And why on earth would you think I’d know anything about it?’

‘Sir he confunded us, and then he must have snuck out. Only we don’t know where and we have to find him. We’ve looked everywhere!’

Severus sighed. ‘This is what you idiots get for keeping him locked up. You allowed yourselves to be confunded? How exactly did you make it through the Auror program if you’re foolish enough to fall victim to a simple confundus charm?’

‘He’s bloody Harry Potter isn’t he? And it wasn’t our decision to keep him here, we were just following orders.’ Ernie said.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose slightly to stave of the headache he could already feel coming on. ‘He’s not as talented as you think, in fact often he’s a complete dunderhead.’

Ernie looked at him as if he’d just killed Dumbledore all over again.

Severus sighed again. ‘I repeat. Why do you think I’d know where he is?’

‘Well you’re friends aren’t you?’ Ernie asked dumbly.

‘I don’t have friends, and I don’t know where he is.’ Severus snarled. ‘Have you reported this to your superiors?’ Most likely Harry was just out enjoying some alone time and would be back soon enough, and Severus wasn’t going to let the sliver of worry he was feeling take root.

‘No not yet sir.’

‘When did he go missing?’ Severus snapped, the sliver now becoming a shard.

‘About 1am sir.’ Ernie looked at the ground.

‘He’s been missing for two hours and you haven’t alerted anyone?!’ Severus said incredulously, full-fledged panic starting to emerge. ‘He could be anywhere by now you fools! He has a serial killer after him!’

‘We thought he’d be back by now.’

‘Well he isn’t!’ Severus snapped. ‘If something has happened to him I’m holding you personally responsible! Now get to work and alert your superiors and tell them to get the entire team in here within the hour.’

‘Yes sir.’ Ernie all but saluted. ‘What are you going to do?’

Severus pushed him outside the door. ‘I’m going to look for him. Go now and once the team has arrived make sure you wait with them. You’re going to tell them everything.’

…

Severus had checked the obvious places first, only to find both his own house and Harry’s were cold and empty. He then apparated back to the ministry and tried to retrace his steps. Obviously Harry would have been wearing that stupid invisibility cloak when he left the Ministry but he surely wouldn’t have gone far. Severus believed that Harry had simply got so tired of being cooped up that he’d escaped for a brief respite. However three hours (it was now 4am) was well over what even Harry would consider acceptable given the circumstances.

Of course it could be that the killer had just broken into the ministry and snatched Harry, confunding his security team in the process but he highly doubted it. 

He spotted a run-down looking bar just around the corner from the ministry and despite his scepticism that Harry would still be there he imagined the idiot might well have chosen the place to let of some steam. It was just the kind of dive that Harry would like. Severus waved his wand over himself quickly changing into muggle clothes and headed inside.

He located the bartender and waved him over.

‘What can I get you?’ the man asked.

Severus shook his head. ‘Nothing, I’m looking for someone.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yes. He’s short, has dark hair that sticks up everywhere with glasses and he has piercing green eyes.’ Severus said in a rush. ‘Has he been in here tonight?’

‘You with the police?’ The man asked almost casually.

‘No of course not. I’m just a friend, he was… upset and he went out for some air but that was now three hours ago.’

‘Lover’s quarrel eh?’

‘No you idiot. He’s in trouble. Or he might be. Just tell me if you’ve seen him!’ Severus all but shook him in frustration.

The bartender looked slightly disgruntled at being shouted at but now seemed more serious.

‘Yeah he was in here earlier, but not for very long at all. He started on his own just having a drink at the bar but then another man joined him.’

Fear trickled through Severus. ‘What did the other man look like?’ He asked sharply.

The bartender paused. ‘Hmmm, well I don’t know really.’ He said, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘It’s like it’s just gone out of my head you know. I remember your friend well enough but can’t seem to get a grasp on the other bloke.’

Severus knew what had happened. ‘What time was this?’

The bartender checked his watch. ‘Oh I dunno maybe about one thirty or two am?’

‘Did you see them leave?’

‘No but they weren’t together for long. I saw the other guy join your friend and then I turned to serve a customer and when I turned back they had both left. It was probably less than a minute. Bloody odd you know?’

Severus didn’t even answer him, he just walked away back out into the night and apparated straight to the ministry as soon as he could.

…

Severus remained silent. He refused to add to the drama and idiocy that was playing out before him knowing full well that the screaming match wasn’t doing a thing to help Harry. In fact it was quite clear to him that he wasn’t going to get the help he required here.

Bennett watched him closely from across the room. She also had chosen to stay quiet, something which Severus thought was quite out of character for her.

He had arrived back at the ministry to find that not only had Bert and Ernie awakened the team they had also summoned the Minister himself. Kingsley was furious as he stood at the front of the conference room tearing strips off the two junior Auror’s who had carelessly let Harry be captured. Severus felt a smidgeon of pity for them as they watched their careers go down the toilet.

Once Kingsley had finished laying into Bert and Ernie they had been dismissed and the true stupidity had begun. Unsure of where to begin the team had proceeded to fall over themselves in despair as they listed off the many ways they couldn’t possibly hope to find Potter one by one.

They were getting nowhere fast. In fact Bennett herself had made the only useful suggestion very early on in the argument only to be completely shot down by both Prewitt and Kingsley. She had foolishly suggested that they immediately check out the last remaining suspects regardless of the fact that the approval from the confederacy of international wizards hadn’t come through yet.

Apparently saving Harry’s life wasn’t deemed worthy of starting an international incident.

At that point Severus had essentially stopped listening and instead concentrated very hard on everything he and Harry had ever read about the case and their short list of suspects. He had almost decided on a course of action (that would undoubtedly get him in serious trouble, if not sent to Azkaban) when the meeting abruptly adjourned.

Severus hadn’t even heard what course of action they had decided to take.

Bennett met his eyes from across the room and jerked her head for Severus to follow her.

Frowning slightly he followed and together they left the room, ending up in a deserted corridor. ‘He’s probably already dead isn’t he?’ Severus asked flatly, after quickly casting muffliato.

‘That’s certainly possible, though unlikely. But if we don’t act quickly then he will be soon.’ Bennett replied.

‘What idiotic course of action did those fools decide?’

‘They’re going to sweep the ministry and the entire area for possible clues. Then they’re going to report back to each other to discuss what a futile and pointless waste of time it was.’ Bennett snapped.

‘And what are we going to do?’ Severus asked raising his eyebrows slightly.

‘We’re going to find Harry. You have the list of names I assume?’ Bennett asked. ‘I know you don’t care about waiting for approval. I could practically see your mind turning over in there looking at every angle in case you missed something.’

‘Yes I have them. And no I don’t care.’

‘You’d actually die for him wouldn’t you?’

‘It wouldn’t be the first time.’

Bennett wisely chose not to respond to that last comment, though her eyes widened considerably.

The two of them left after that, quietly and quickly exiting the ministry and ending up on a side street in the middle of muggle London. No one had seemed to notice they were leaving, let alone tried to stop them. Severus supposed that he just wasn’t really that important to them to bother keeping under watch anymore. Their golden boy had been kidnapped and that was all they cared about. Since that was all Severus cared about as well it didn’t bother him as much as it might have in the past, and it also made things a whole lot easier.

‘So which suspect should we start with?’ Bennett asked.

‘You tell me.’ Severus said. ‘You have more experience with this. Two of them have the volatile personalities and one just gave Harry a bad feeling.’

‘A bad feeling?’

‘He said he gave him a bad feeling when he first met him, but then after that he was a model student. He was going to dismiss him altogether.’ Severus said.

Bennett turned her head slightly, thinking hard. ‘What did that note say that Harry found at the crime scene? The one that was from his study guide?’

‘You have to be odd to be number one,’ Severus said after a moment’s thought. ‘Why?’

‘That’s him.’

‘How do you know?’

‘I just know.’ she said quickly. ‘It fits.’

‘Bennett you’d better be sure. For all we know he’s dead already and if we waste time checking out a dead end or two dead ends I promise you, you will regret it.’

Bennett looked Severus in the eye. ‘You can’t intimidate me Snape.’ She said firmly. ‘You have to trust me, all my experience tells me this is the guy. So we can waste more time talking about it, or we can go and find him.’

Severus just looked at her.

‘I know Snape. I know how you feel about him, it’s written all over you. I promise you; this is the guy.’

Severus nodded once, then offered Bennett his arm and quickly apparated them away.

…

‘Where are we?’ Bennett asked, looking up at a huge pair of wrought iron gates at the entry to a massive (and forbidding looking) castle.

‘Durmstrang.’ Severus replied, ‘it’s a school in Bulgaria.’ He added.

‘I see.’ Bennett said faintly. ‘We’re in Bulgaria?’

‘Yes.’ Severus replied, flicking his wand and sending his Patronus flying through the gates. ‘Now we wait.’

They didn’t have to wait long.

A figure quickly came down the path towards the gates. A wand was drawn and the gates began to slowly creak open.

‘Professor Snape?’

‘I haven’t been professor Snape in years Mr Boots. Severus will do fine.’

Terry Boots smiled slightly. ‘I don’t think so Sir. You’ll always be Professor Snape to me.’

Severus sighed, ‘This is a matter of some importance. Can we speak with your headmaster?’

Terry frowned. ‘Unfortunately Headmaster Dobrevcha is currently away from the school, not due back for a week.’

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and closed his eyes. ‘Who is the current deputy?’

‘That would be me sir.’

‘I need to see your school records. I need information on a student who may have graduated in the past five years. I need everything you have on him.’ Severus was almost relieved that he wouldn’t have to deal with Dobrevcha, Boots would be much more likely to allow him the access he needed.

‘Uh, Sir I’m not allowed to divulge that information to anyone. It’s confidential.’

Severus growled, ‘You stupid fool. Lives depend on this information. Harry’s life depends on it!’

‘Harry Potter?’ Terry asked in shock. ‘You’d better come in. Tell me everything and I’ll see what I can do.’

‘We must hurry, we don’t have much time.’

…

Severus was relieved to be finally getting somewhere at last. Having explained the situation to Boots he had decided that he could accidentally leave the records room open, and then accidentally lose track of time, allowing Severus and Bennett the time they needed.

The Durmstrang records were in far better order than the Hogwarts records ever had been. They had quickly found the records for Joshua Andrews; there wasn’t much. His parents weren’t listed, neither was his address. His grades were there, and a list of achievements but that was all. They were now trying to comb through records on the other students of his year to see if there was any further mention of him.

‘Severus?’ Bennett had paused in her searching.

‘Hmm?’

‘I’ve found no mention of a Joshua Andrews, but the name Joseph Andreev keeps popping up. And not always in the best light. You think it might be something?’

Severus nodded. ‘Perhaps. It’s odd that a student wouldn’t be mentioned anywhere other than in his in his own records, but it’s possible… However not with the list of achievements listed for Joshua Andrews. He must be mentioned somewhere.’

‘You think the record might be fabricated?’ Bennett asked.

‘Let’s find the personnel record for this Joseph Andreev.’ Severus began to dig through the files. They were somewhat less tidy now than when they had begun.

They couldn’t find it. Even when Severus tried a summoning charm it didn’t come forth.

Severus’ eyes slid back to the file on Joshua Andrews which was still lying flat on the table in front of them. He held up his wand, ‘Revelio’. The file blurred and spun, then refigured itself. The name Joseph Andreev had replaced the name Joshua Andrews. ‘You were right.’ Severus said. ‘It was spelled.’

‘Could he have done this?’ Bennett asked as Severus dragged the file closer, opening the front cover.

‘If he was advanced enough, yes probably. The question is why would he bother to?’ Severus opened the file in front of him. It had tripled in size from the original spelled version.

‘Anything?’ Bennett asked cautiously.

‘There’s a string of reprimands for violent behaviour. Several detentions. He was intelligent though. He topped most of his classes.’ Severus frowned as he read. This file was alarming.

‘Anything about his family? His parents?’

‘Why?’

‘Serial killers tend to have traumatising events in their childhoods.’ Bennett said.

‘Nothing in here would suggest that. Though the wizarding world isn’t terribly good at policing these things.’ Severus thought of Harry’s upbringing. ‘Neither is the muggle world mind you.’

Bennett cocked her head, thinking. ‘Are his parents wizards?’

Severus shook his head. ‘No. He’s muggle born.’

‘It fits the profile.’ Bennett leant closer, ‘Are his parents still alive?’

Severus shuffled through the file quickly. ‘No. They died when he was in fifth year. Oh… a magical accident. Interesting. Joseph was cleared of any wrongdoing. He went to live with an uncle for his remaining two years of schooling.’

‘Is there an address for them?’

‘For the uncle?’ Severus frowned. ‘You think he might know something?’

‘Probably. He’d be a good person to talk to, but no I meant the parents. His childhood home. I bet that’s where he has Harry. He’d want to take him somewhere he felt safe, and a place he knew well.’

‘Got it.’ Severus said, pulling a page out of the file and pocketing it. He stood abruptly. ‘You better be right about this Bennett.’ 

‘I am.’

…

Severus was close to frantic by the time they managed to leave Durmstrang and apparate back to London. They got as close as they dared to the house Joseph Andreev had grown up in Stratford. They were surprised to discover he had grown up in London, given he was a Bulgarian citizen. As near as they could tell Joseph’s father had worked as a banker in London and brought his family to live with him. When his parents died Joseph had returned to his uncle in Bulgaria.

Bennett had wanted to call for something called back up, but Severus had reminded her sharply that they weren’t supposed to be doing this in the first place, that Joseph Andreev wasn’t even a suspect as such and the team of Auror’s had been useless to date anyway.

Bennett had frowned at him but finally agreed. She had, however drawn her gun as soon as they had got close.

‘What exactly is your plan here Severus?’ she hissed at him as they watched the house from across the street and two houses down.

‘I’m not sure, I hesitate to just break the door down and go charging in. He might just kill him immediately. And the house is probably warded.’

A full day had passed and evening had fallen, a fact which was both convenient and terrifying. The cover of night gave them some protection as they scoped the house out, but at the same time it had been almost twenty four hours since Harry had been captured. Severus prayed that they weren’t too late.

‘I doubt it will be warded; it’s not a wizard’s house. And he hates magic. I’m fairly sure that he won’t be using any unless he’s forced to.’ Bennett murmured.

‘He’ll be using some to subdue Harry. He has to.’

‘Can’t he just take away his wand? Destroy it?’

Severus swung his eyes towards her. ‘He doesn’t need a wand.’

‘He doesn’t?’ Bennett was surprised.

‘No.’

‘I see.’

There was silence.

‘What do you think we will be facing exactly?’ Bennett asked.

Severus shook his head slightly. ‘I don’t know. One of two things probably. Either he will have used a containment spell on the room he’s keeping him in, or perhaps on whatever he is using to restrain him… or he’s simply keeping him unconscious, either through magic or– ‘

‘He’s not keeping him unconscious.’ Bennett interrupted, her eyes fixed on the somewhat dilapidated house.

‘How exactly do you know this?’ Severus asked icily.

Bennett sighed, ‘What’s the point of kidnapping him and then not killing him but keeping him unconscious? This guy left him notes, he’s been taunting him. Now he has him captured? He’s going to want to continue that. You need to prepare yourself.’

Severus growled. ‘I’m not waiting any longer.’

Bennett nodded, ‘I’ll go to the front door. I’ll pretend I’m selling something. When he opens it you take him down.’ She looked at him for a moment. ‘I don’t suppose you have an easy way to become invisible or undetectable or something do you?’

Severus smirked then reached into his cloak and pulled out Harry’s invisibility cloak. ‘It’s Harry’s.’ he said. ‘I grabbed it from his quarters before we left, I thought I might find use for it. Its magic is undetectable.’

‘It’s an invisibility cloak?’

Severus rolled his eyes. ‘Obviously.’

‘Save the sass Snape. Let’s move.’

Severus hid himself under the cloak and followed Bennett to the front door. She rang the bell once. Severus pulled out his wand beneath the cloak and aimed it at the front door.

No one answered.

Bennett leant in close to the door and listened. ‘I don’t hear anything.’ she whispered.

‘Try again.’

Bennett rang the bell again. Still no answer; still nothing but silence. ‘I’m going to try the door.’ She reached out and turned the knob. It was locked.

‘I can unlock it. If he hasn’t charmed the door.’ Severus murmured.

‘Go ahead.’ Bennett nodded to him and pulled out her gun, stepping back slightly.

Severus pointed his wand at the door and silently cast Alohomora. There was a click. ‘Try it now.’ he whispered.

Bennett tried the door again, this time it opened easily. She pushed it gently and the door swung wide open.

It was dark inside, as Bennett stepped slowly over the threshold her eyes began to adjust. ‘We need to search every room.’ she said out of the corner of her mouth.

Severus followed her in. ‘He’s here.’

Bennett looked around, ‘Joseph?’

‘Harry. I can feel him.’

The front door had closed behind them. They were in a small dingy entrance way, the carpet was worn and dirty, the walls a faded dull pink. In front of them was a doorway to what appeared to be a kitchen, to the right a living room. To the left was a corridor.

‘Where is he roughly?’ Bennett asked.

Severus nodded towards the corridor.

‘I’m going to secure the kitchen and the living room. You right under that cloak?’

Severus had already left, heading towards the corridor.

It was darker than he’d like given the situation, the cloak billowed around him and he made the decision to remove it. He honestly didn’t much care what happened to him anyway, as long as Harry was okay. He held his wand in front of him and searched the first room he came to, a bedroom. Nothing. He closed the door as he left. The next room on the right was a bathroom, he closed that door and continued down the corridor. It was almost completely black now, and in front of him Severus managed to make out a small set of stairs leading to what he assumed was a basement. As he stepped onto them he tried to light his wand but failed. Magic had been drained from this space. His best guess was this was a localised spell just on the stairs and whatever lay below. He put his wand away, it was useless now.

Not having any other weapon on him he had no choice but to continue on and hope that Bennett would soon catch up to him. He knew Harry was just below and he didn’t want to wait for her. The stairs creaked as he made his way cautiously down them, but there was silence below. Something was wrong. He came to the bottom of the stairs and was faced with a closed door. Tentatively he tried the handle; it was stiff but it turned, the door wasn’t locked. He slowly opened it.

The room beyond was in total darkness. Having some knowledge of muggle houses Severus ran his hands along the side of the wall next to the door searching for the light switch, if he was going to have to fight, he wanted to at least see what he was up against. He found the switch and flipped it.

He wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted him.

There was blood everywhere, all he could see was blood. Blood splattered on walls, floor, and furniture.

Eventually he managed to focus enough and he saw Harry tied to a chair in the middle of the room. He was covered in blood from head to toe, staring vacantly at a spot near the door. He didn’t seem to have noticed Severus.

There was a body at his feet, or at least part of a body.

Severus assumed it was the remains of Joseph Andreev.


	18. The field where I died

Severus held his hands up in front of him and approached Harry cautiously, much like one would approach a trapped and dangerous animal. He side stepped the body at his feet without looking too closely at it, and knelt in front of Harry. ‘Harry? Are you in there?’

Harry blinked, a trail of blood running down his face. ‘I’m here Severus.’

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I’m going to untie you.’ He moved to the back of the chair and started to try and pull apart the tape that held him to it. It wouldn’t budge. It was covered in blood, his hands kept slipping as he pulled at it.

‘Here.’ A pocket knife was handed to him. Bennett.

He glanced up at her gratefully. ‘I take it the rest of the house is empty?’ he looked back down and slashed the knife through the tape, noticing Harry’s flinch as he did so.

‘Yes.’ she said softly. ‘I’m going to make some calls. My boss will need to know about this.’ she paused, ‘So will yours.’

Severus sighed, he moved to the front of Harry and began to slash at the tape around his torso. ‘Call your boss, tell him to contact the ministry. They have ten minutes to get here before I take Harry home.’ He couldn’t tell if the blood was all Andreev’s or if some belonged to Harry.

Bennett nodded then left.

‘Harry I just have your ankles to free now.’ Severus murmured as he bent towards Harry’s feet. ‘We’re nearly there. You’re going to be alright.’

Harry nodded mutely. When his ankles were free he just sat there numbly.

Severus took his hands. ‘Are you hurt? How much of this is your blood?’

Harry blinked, and desperately tried to focus his eyes on Severus’ face. ‘Most of it is his I think. But he cut me. He used his knife to slash my chest, and I’m burned. My arm… and my stomach…’

‘I’ll heal you as soon as I can Harry, I promise. Right now do you think you can stand?’

‘I think so…’

Severus gripped Harry’s hands tightly, and slowly he helped him to a standing position. Blood and something far worse ran down off his lap to the floor. Severus pulled him gently to the side of the room least covered in blood. He didn’t look down to see what had fallen to the ground, but he strongly suspected it was brain matter. What on earth had happened here?

He turned Harry to face away from Joseph Andreev’s body, to face him instead. He held his hands steadily. ‘Harry we are going to stay right here. I want you to just look at me, and focus on my face. The Auror’s will be here soon. It’s all over now, and you’re safe.’

Harry nodded, holding eye contact with Severus.

They stood there in silence, focused on each other.

‘He’s dead isn’t he?’ Harry asked eventually.

Without breaking eye contact, Severus nodded. ‘Yes he’s dead. You did very well.’

Harry shook his head. ‘No. No I didn’t.’

Severus didn’t know what to say, he just held Harry’s hands and tried to keep him calm.

The Auror’s arrived soon after, along with Kingsley himself. Photographs of the scene were taken, Harry was examined, and evidence collected.

‘I’m taking him home now.’ Severus said shortly, to both Kingsley and Prewitt.

Kingsley nodded. Prewitt frowned slightly but agreed. ‘He needs to come in and give his statement as soon as possible though. We have to know what happened here. Can you bring him in later today?’

‘Tomorrow.’ Severus said. When Prewitt made to protest, he held up a hand to silence him. ‘Tomorrow Prewitt, he’s in shock, and he needs to sleep. You’ll get more out of him tomorrow.’

‘First thing tomorrow Snape.’ Prewitt acquiesced. 

Severus simply arched an eyebrow at him, then went back to Harry. Someone had found him a blanket and wrapped it round his bare shoulders. He had been moved out of the basement and taken up to the dingy living room. He was now perched on a sofa, a mediwitch next to him.

Severus nodded to the witch as he sat next to Harry and took his hand. ‘Can I take him home now?’

The witch nodded, ‘I was just going to clean him up, then you can take him home.’ She pulled out her wand.

Harry shook his head violently. ‘Not with magic. Shower. Please, just take me home Severus.’

Severus raised his eyebrows in question to the mediwitch. She nodded. ‘Let’s go.’

Harry stood shakily, the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. He silently held out his arm.

Severus took it, assuming that Harry didn’t have the energy to apparate on his own. ‘Where would you like to go?’

‘Your place.’

They turned on the spot and were gone.

When they arrived home, Severus ushered Harry to the bathroom and turned the shower on. He quickly stripped off his own clothes but did not touch Harry, simply pushing the blanket back off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He gently guided him under the spray, still in his clothes.

He was filthy, covered in blood; half dried and congealed in some places, sticky and wet in others. Severus shook his head slightly in shock as he tilted Harry’s head back and started to wash the blood from his hair. It was all he could do to keep from shuddering in disgust.

Harry remained silent as he was washed, he made no effort to help but didn’t resist when Severus began to remove his pants. He stepped out of them numbly, obeying the instructions he was given.

The water ran red as the blood was washed away, and soon Severus could see the damage inflicted to Harry’s body. The mediwitch had done a good job closing the gash on his chest, though Severus knew he could have done better. The burns on his arm and stomach were healed less well. They still looked an angry red colour, raised and painful. Severus washed them slowly and carefully.

Once clean he guided Harry gently out of the shower and wrapped him in a large towel. He left his dirty bloodied clothes sitting in the bottom of the shower, he could deal with them later. He led Harry to the bedroom where he managed to find sleep pants and a warm robe for him to put on. Harry followed numbly, still obeying every order he was given.

Once they were both dressed and warm they ended up in the sitting room; in the front of the fire, glasses of Firewhiskey in their hands.

‘Harry...’ Severus started, then trailed off.

‘I know.’ Harry said in a dull voice, his eyes trained onto the fire.

‘What do you know exactly?’

‘I did a stupid thing, I made you worry. I probably caused an international incident. All of it. I’m sorry.’

Severus shook his head. All that was true, but it wasn’t important right now. ‘Harry tell me what happened.’

‘I’d rather not if it’s all the same to you.’

‘I understand that. However we both know that tomorrow you will have to tell the ministry everything in great detail. I don’t think you’re ready for that, and the longer you wait to talk about it the worse it will be when you do.’ Severus paused. ‘Don’t let this beat you Harry; don’t let him win.’

Harry sighed and looked at Severus. His eyes were dark and flat. ‘I know now why you don’t talk about the war.’

‘This isn’t about me.’

Harry shrugged. ‘I don’t want to talk about it Severus; it’s better off dead and buried inside me.’

‘You’re wrong. It’s a sickness, a poison. And if it stays buried, you’ll only end up like me. A bitter old man who can’t let the past go, drowning in his own demons.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I won’t let you drown Harry. Tell me what happened.’

Harry downed his glass of Firewhiskey. ‘Much of it is a blur. I don’t even know where to start.’

Severus finished his own glass and placed it on a side table. He took Harry’s hands in his, warming them gently. ‘Start at the beginning. It will be alright, I’m here with you.’

So Harry began to talk.

He started with how he left the ministry, not leaving a single detail out. He spoke of how he woke in the dark, how he found himself taped to a chair with no access to his magic, how Joshua Andrews revealed himself. He faltered slightly when he spoke of how he was slashed, and cut, and burned until Severus pulled him closer and encouraged him to continue. However once he got past that point, to when he had been left in the dark, wounded and terrified he found he could go no further.

‘What happened then Harry?’ Severus nudged him, stroking his hair back and forth. What did you do then?’

Harry shuddered. ‘I just knew I had to escape. I knew he’d eventually kill me if I didn’t. But I couldn’t think of a plan, my mind was foggy, the pain from the burns was too intense and I couldn’t think through it. When he came back hours later he kept taunting me. He liked to put his face close to mine, so he could intimidate me I guess, or maybe he just wanted to see the look in my eyes…’

‘Go on.’

‘He leant in close, too close, and I bit him. I managed to bite his nose right off. He screamed and wheeled back, blood went everywhere. He was just screaming and shouting and I got so angry. I felt this rage fill me, this red rage inside that then turned white hot. I looked at him, I focused everything inside of me onto him. Something began to build in me… I don’t know what exactly, it felt similar to magic only it couldn’t have been because the room had a spell on it or something. Anyway, whatever it was built and built, and he came at me, he was going to kill me I think… and I just looked at him and focused all of that power onto him and… and…’

Severus waited, stroking Harry’s face gently.

‘His head exploded. Just… exploded right in front of me. I did that Severus. I don’t even know how. It was awful. Blood went everywhere and bits of him… his brain… fuck... His brain matter was on me too wasn’t it? He was so close when it happened. And then the lights went out. Like what I’d done had also tapped out the power in the room. And then I just waited… I don’t know how long it was. I tried to get free of the chair but I couldn’t. So I just… waited. And then the lights came on, and you found me. You found me…’ Harry finished, and promptly burst into tears.

Severus said nothing, simply holding him in his arms until the tears subsided. They sat in silence for some time, Harry’s head on Severus’ shoulder, his arms wrapped around him.

Eventually Harry pulled away slightly, sat up and poured another Firewhiskey, then drained it in one gulp. ‘How did you find me?’

Severus frowned as Harry poured another glass immediately and also drained that. When he went for the bottle again, he gently pulled it away from him. ‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough of that?’

Harry shrugged. ‘No. But I suppose you won’t let me have any more will you?’

Severus let go of the bottle. ‘Alcohol poisoning is the last thing you need right now, believe me.’

Harry didn’t respond, but he also didn’t go for the bottle again.

‘The ministry were fairly useless when you went missing.’ Severus said, ‘I knew we wouldn’t find you in time if we followed their protocol. We were ordered to wait, to do nothing essentially. By the end of the meeting I had decided to ignore the orders and investigate the three international suspects. Bennett met me after the meeting and insisted on joining me. It was she who seemed to think that Joshua Andrews was the most likely. We went to Durmstrang and looked over old school records. We discovered fairly quickly that Joshua Andrews was an alias.’

‘An alias?’ Harry asked. ‘That’s not his real name?’

‘His real name is Joseph Andreev.’

‘How did I miss that?’ Harry murmured.

‘He did a fairly good job of it I believe. There was no reason for you discover the truth from a simple background check.’ Severus said seriously.

Harry just shrugged.

‘This isn’t your fault Harry.’

‘Tell me the rest.’

‘Once we discovered who he was the rest of the pieces came quickly. We discovered he had actually grown up in London, and that the house his parents had owned before they died was in his name. Bennett was sure that’s where he had you.’ Severus paused. ‘The rest you know.’

‘Thank you. For coming to find me.’ Harry’s voice was dull. ‘I’ll have to thank Bennett too, she’s a smart woman.’

Severus felt a prickle of annoyance, even though Harry was right. He wouldn’t have found him without her help. At least not as quickly. ‘Yes well I imagine you can thank her tomorrow.’

‘I should go to bed.’ Harry said, standing shakily.

They headed to the bedroom and undressed, pulling back the covers and sliding between the cool sheets. Harry pulled close to Severus, tucking himself into his side and resting his head on his chest.

‘I’m really sorry.’ He murmured.

‘You don’t have to be sorry Harry, you did nothing wrong. You were so brave, and I’m very proud of you.’

‘I killed someone. Again.’ Harry shudders slightly. ‘I should probably be locked up.’

Severus kissed the top of his head gently. ‘You know that isn’t true. Besides… I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have found you earlier. Before you had to… I’m so sorry my love.’

‘You found me as soon as you could.’ Harry found Severus’ hand under the bedclothes and gave it a squeeze. ‘You’re right. Talking about it does help. A little. I don’t feel so dead inside now.’

‘You’re not dead inside. You never will be.’ Severus shifted slightly, turning to face Harry. ‘You aren’t like me Harry. You’re far stronger than I ever was. You’ll get through this just fine.’

Harry lifted a hand and traced the side of Severus’ face. ‘There are worse things than being like you.’ He paused. ‘Severus?’

‘Mmmm?’

‘What happened to my wand? He took it from me… did someone find it?’ Harry couldn’t explain how important it was to him to have it back.

Severus got out of bed and left the room, when he returned he was holding Harry’s wand.

Harry held his hand out for it. ‘Thanks.’

‘Bennett gave it to me, they found it in the kitchen.’

‘I’m surprised he hadn’t snapped it in half.’ Harry turned away and set the wand on the bedside table. ‘Thank her for me will you? I don’t need it anymore to do magic, but it’s still a part of me. I feel uncomfortable without it.’

‘You can thank her yourself.’ Severus said, as he waved his hand to turn out the lights.

Harry moved close to him in the darkness, pressing himself up against his side until Severus lifted an arm and drew him in completely.

‘Go to sleep Harry.’ Severus murmured, kissing the top of his head gently.

And Harry slept.

When he woke up it was sudden.

…

Severus had tried not to wake Harry but the nightmare had been strong, and it had left him sitting bolt upright in bed, shaking and sweaty.

Harry shifted slightly and reached up to rub Severus’ back.

‘I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.’ Severus said shakily, trying to throw off the last image of his dream. He reached down in return and ran his hands along Harry’s side soothingly. He was here. It was just a dream.

‘Nightmare hey?’ Harry murmured. ‘Want to talk about it?’

‘Not particularly.’ Severus admitted. ‘Let’s just say you were gone… missing, and the Dark Lord had returned.’

Harry nodded in understanding. ‘Yeah I have that dream a lot too.’

‘I’m sure you do.’ Severus replied, lying back down and pulling Harry close to him. His heart rate had returned to normal somewhat. While he certainly didn’t intend on going back to sleep anytime soon he did want the feeling of Harry in his arms to ground him.

They lay together in silence for perhaps another half hour, then Harry spoke. ‘Tell me about being a Death Eater.’

Severus shifted uneasily.

Harry waited.

‘Being a Death Eater is like being trapped in a nightmare of your own making, where the only way out is to surrender to death.’ Severus couldn’t think of a better way to put it.

Harry nodded. ‘I can’t imagine what that must have been like.’

‘That’s because you’re a good person Harry. If you knew half of what I’d done, both before and after I switched to your side you’d leave me in a second.’

‘No I wouldn’t.’ Harry said firmly. ‘You know I wouldn’t. I know the man you are now, I know that the things you did eat you up inside, as well as the things that were done to you. I want to know all of you Severus. I’m not afraid of that side of you and I won’t shy away from it. You need to let it out.’

Severus couldn’t bring himself to answer at first, the memories too strong, but eventually he took a breath and spoke. ‘Once I had turned to Dumbledore and to your side, the worst thing was having to continue to behave and act like I had previously. Even worse as I could then see so clearly how everything I had previously revelled in was inherently evil.’ He paused. ‘The second war was worse by far, and once Dumbledore had gone it became unbearable.’

‘Because then no one knew the truth? And you had no respite?’ Harry asked.

Severus nodded. ‘Prior to his death, I was more often than not at Hogwarts… where I was miserable but at least not having to do things I did not wish to do… and I had his counsel. After his death, well I suppose I was still at Hogwarts… but despite being headmaster I was forced to do many inhumane things in order to remain above suspicion. And all this while the other teachers looked at me like I was a monster. I suppose I was.’

‘No you weren’t. Just because they didn’t know any better doesn’t make them right. You weren’t a monster, no matter what you were forced to do. Did having Dumbledore’s portrait there help any?’

‘Some I suppose, though we both know a portrait is not the same as a real live person. It’s only an echo, a memory. Sometimes I would have to ask him to leave. To visit another of his portraits for awhile when it became too much.’ 

‘Tell me the worst thing that happened?’ Harry asked when Severus fell silent.

‘The worst thing… That I did? Or was done to me?’

‘Either. Both. Whatever you want.’ Harry murmured.

Severus sighed. ‘I did many evil things. I cast the cruciatus curse more times than I care to think about. I killed muggles, I wantonly destroyed building, properties… anything I was ordered to do I did with some relish when I was younger. In return many of those things were also done to me. If we did not please the Dark Lord, or if he was in a mood he would… play with us. I suppose that’s the only way to describe it. He very rarely committed any acts himself, but he enjoyed ordering us to hurt each other, most often it was the cruciatus but sometimes he preferred muggle methods. He loved stripping us of our power, making us remove our clothes and kneel before him while others… did things. Most of them enjoyed these meetings, Bellatrix especially. But even when I was firmly on his side I never enjoyed it. I didn’t like torturing each other. I didn’t see the point of it, the muggles yes, or other wizards who were against our cause. I saw that as a means to an end… but not each other.’

Severus paused. ‘I was wrong of course. It made no difference if it was us, or the muggles. It was evil all the same. In fact we were far more deserving of it than they ever were. All of those things haunt me… but perhaps the worst thing, the hardest thing... other of course than what happened to your mother...’

‘You don’t have to talk about that.’ Harry said quickly.

‘Good because I have no intention to.’ Severus said, ‘that’s in the past, and you know all there is to know about that already.’

Harry nodded. ‘Go on.’

‘Do you remember the Muggle Studies professor from your time at Hogwarts?’

‘Vaguely. I didn’t have much to do with her.’

‘The Dark Lord captured her, had her tortured, for sport… then suspended her above the dining table at the Malfoy’s for us all to watch during one of our meetings.’ Severus said softly, his hand clenching, bunching the bedclothes tightly in his fists.

Harry gently took one hand and unclasped it, freeing the fingers and lacing them with his own.

‘Her name was Charity Burbage.’ Severus continued, as he gripped Harry’s hand tightly. ‘She was unconscious when I arrived at the meeting, I did not realise she had even been captured and tortured until then. She woke up during the meeting, when the Dark Lord began taunting her. She begged me for help. Called out to me, by name, repeatedly until the Dark Lord silenced her. She then simply looked at me, terrified, tears streaming down her face.’

‘That’s horrible.’

‘I did not, could not do anything. I could barely bring myself to look at her. It was all I could do to remain impassive.’ Severus took a breath. ‘When he was done taunting her, and the rest of us, he killed her. Her body dropped down onto the table. And then… Nagini… She ate her body. In front of us.’

Harry remained silent, lost for words. He stroked the back of Severus’ hand gently.

‘I did not do anything. She called out to me for help and I let her die, terrified. I let her body be defiled, destroyed. I worked by her side for years, and I did nothing.’ Severus said in a dead voice.

‘Severus you know you had no choice… What could you have done?’ Harry asked.

‘There is always a choice Harry. Always.’

‘He would have killed her anyway, and you as well. And then as a result most likely me, and many, many other people. You did the right thing, the only thing you could do.’ Harry said softly.

‘What makes one person’s life worth more than another?’ Severus asked seriously.

‘Nothing.’ Harry said flatly. ‘Don’t ask those questions. They do you no good.’

It was only then that Severus remembered what Harry had just been through, and that he had been forced to kill someone less than twenty four hours ago. He sat up. ‘Harry I’m so sorry. I should not have said that.’

‘I asked you to talk about it. And I want you to feel like you can say anything to me at all. Don’t worry about my reactions Severus. I’m going to be okay. I just… there’s no point in dwelling on questions that have no answer.’

Severus nodded. ‘Most nights, when I go to sleep or if I wake up suddenly… I see her face. I see her mouthing my name. I don’t know why this bothers me more than all the other horrible things I saw and did.’

‘It’s because you knew her.’ Harry said, sitting up next to Severus and pulling him close. ‘You knew her, you respected her, and she respected you. And she died not only in pain and terrified, but she died believing the worst of you and not knowing the best.’

Severus nodded slightly. ‘I believe that may be true.’

Harry put his head on Severus’ shoulder. ‘Tell me the best thing that ever happened to you.’

Severus smirked, then pulled Harry down into the bed. ‘That’s easy my love. You.’


	19. Epilogue

‘Well that could have gone worse.’

Harry nodded to Bennett, who had just joined them after the debriefing at the ministry. ‘It could have gone a lot worse. I think I was lucky.’

Severus looked at Harry as if he was insane. ‘You were captured, tortured and forced to defend yourself by using an unpredictable unknown magic! You think that was lucky?’

Bennett hid a smile behind her hand.

‘We’re talking about the ministry here Sev, they aren’t exactly reasonable when it comes to handing out punishments.’ Harry said, thinking of chasing Dementors away from Dudley at the age of fifteen. He’d been in more trouble then.

‘Don’t call me Sev.’

‘Noted.’ Harry turned back to Bennett. ‘I can’t thank you enough for what you did. Truly. I know you may well get into some trouble as a result so, thank you.’

Bennett shrugged. ‘It’s unlikely to be honest. Despite our deliberately ignoring orders and going off on our own, no one seems to be angry. In fact no one has even mentioned it… And you don’t have to thank me Harry, I didn’t really do anything. You saved yourself in the end.’

‘We couldn’t have stopped him without your help. We’d still be stuck… and he’d still be taunting me.’ Harry said gratefully.

Bennett shifted her feet slightly, clearly feeling awkward. ‘Well, anytime. I have to get going but it was great to meet you both, and to work with you. It’s not every day I get a chance to work with wizards.’ She held out her hand.

Severus shook it with a small smile. ‘Thank you for your help Bennett. I appreciate what you did more that I can express.’

Bennett gave a tight nod.

Harry took her hand next, shaking it firmly. ‘Thanks Bennett, keep in touch now.’

‘It’s Sophie.’ Bennett said with a smile. ‘Call me Sophie.’

It was true that no one had really mentioned anything about Bennett and Severus going rogue and tracking down Joseph Andreev on their own. Severus thought that it was likely because Harry had been tortured, and Andreev had confessed, so no one was really fussed about how he had been caught in the end.

Harry suspected that Bennett would be in trouble from her own agency though, as Muggle law enforcement had proved to be stricter that the ministry (who tended to do whatever they liked no matter what the rules said). It helped that the Bulgarians had been horrified that one of their own wizards had committed such atrocities. There had been no issues from them at all, particularly since the murders had happened in London, as well as the capture and subsequent killing of Andreev. In fact the only argument now was what to do with Andreev’s remains. The ministry wanted to send them back to Bulgaria, and the Bulgarians wanted the ministry to deal with them.

Harry had been questioned at length that morning, and his memories submitted for examination. He was then expected to be present while they were reviewed, which was possibly the worst part. He had no desire to relive the previous few day’s events and thought his testimony should have been enough. Thankfully he was immediately cleared of all wrong doing, and only had to sit through a ten minute lecture from Kingsley on what a foolish thing it had been for him to slip away from the Auror’s assigned to him that night. Harry had taken the lecture quietly, he knew he deserved it.

‘It feels strange.’ Harry said, as he watched Bennett leave the room.

‘In what way?’ Severus murmured, his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

‘It’s over, no one to chase, and no one chasing me.’

‘Feels wonderful to me.’ Severus said drily. ‘Though if it helps’, his eyes darkened, ‘I’ll chase you.’

Harry smiled and leant in close. ‘That sounds perfect.’

‘Let’s go home.’

…

**One year later**

‘Minerva, what’s this all about?’ Severus asked with a heavy sigh, as he sat in the headmistress’s office reluctantly. He didn’t have the fondest memories of this room.

‘You’re owl was very cryptic.’ Harry added.

‘Well yes.’ Minerva placed both hands flat on the desk and fixed them with a piercing stare. ‘I figured if I just told you outright in my message you would have ignored it.’

‘Get on with it.’ Severus growled. ‘I hope you aren’t about to offer us positions on the teaching staff again?’

Minerva rolled her eyes. ‘Severus I’m not foolish enough to assume that you’d ever be interested in teaching again. Besides it’s not a Potions Professor I’m after.’

‘Defence against the dark arts?’ Harry guessed. ‘I thought that curse was lifted when Voldemort died?’

Minerva leant back in her chair. ‘It did. Professor Blackburn is retiring after four years in the position.’

‘So you want me to take it up?’ Harry frowned, his stomach giving a flip at the thought.

‘I taught Defence as well as Potions.’ Severus said icily. ‘In fact in case you’ve forgotten it was my preferred choice.’

Minerva rolled her eyes. ‘Do you want the position Severus?’

‘No.’ Severus folded his arms. ‘But I am not sure why I’m here.’

‘You and Harry have been a family unit for some time now; I am indeed offering him the position, however I am sure that you will both have questions and concerns and out of respect to you both and your relationship I wanted to give you the opportunity to raise any issues you have with me directly.’

Harry raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m very young to be a professor.’

‘That’s irrelevant. You taught a full class of students on this subject at the age of fifteen very successfully. Are you interested or not?’

Harry slid his eyes to look at Severus, who was sitting tightly in his seat. ‘I am interested…’ he began slowly, ‘but I don’t think it would work.’

‘Why not?’ Minerva asked.

‘If you’re interested you should do it.’ Severus said quickly. ‘Don’t let me hold you back.’

‘You aren’t holding me back. I don’t want to be away from you for weeks at a time. I don’t want a long distance relationship.’ Harry bit his lip. He loved living with Severus this past year and had no desire to ever stop.

‘Potter. You don’t have to live at Hogwarts.’ Minerva sighed impatiently. ‘It is preferred of course, however you are quite capable of apparating in and out of Hogsmeade each day.’

Harry tilted his head. ‘I don’t know why I never thought of that.’

‘You will of course be provided with quarters in the castle, and I will ensure they are equipped for two, in case you both wish to stay there together. In addition Severus…’

Severus sat up slightly. ‘Yes?’

‘I would like you to become our regular supplier of potions for the infirmary.’ Minerva said. ‘We would be happy for you to brew them at Hogwarts or at your home if you prefer. Harry’s quarters will include a workshop for you.’

‘What’s wrong with your Potions Professor?’ Severus asked with a growl.

‘There’s nothing wrong with him, other than he isn’t you.’ Minerva paused. ‘Also healing potions are really not his thing. We’ve had some… issues.’

‘I’ll consider it.’

‘Would the two of you like some time to discuss it between yourselves?’

‘Yes please.’ Harry said, though he already knew what he wanted.

Minerva nodded. ‘Send your Patronus to find me when you’re ready.’ She left the room.

‘You want to do it don’t you?’ Severus asked quietly, as he took Harry’s hand.

‘Yeah I think I do…’ Harry said awkwardly. ‘I miss teaching defence. I can’t bring myself to teach one on one anymore but a classroom that’s controlled… It does sound appealing.’

‘You should accept the position then.’

‘What about you?’ Harry asked tentatively.

Severus shrugged. ‘I suppose I can manage to stay at the castle every now and then. Especially if I do supply them with potions, it would be convenient.’

Harry felt a smile stretch across his face. ‘I’ll come home most nights I promise!’

‘I know you will. But we aren’t spending Christmas there.’ Severus said firmly. ‘I refuse to partake in anymore over the top Hogwarts celebrations.’

Harry pouted. ‘Really? Never?’

Severus threw up his hands. ‘Fine. But not every single year.’

Harry lunged forward and threw his arms around Severus’ neck. ‘I love you.’

Severus leant forward to kiss Harry deeply, ‘I love you too.’

_Finis_


End file.
